We had a very similar case in the nursery last year, but we didn’t put the nappy back on the child.
It took us some time, but in the end, we succeeded. Our magic formula was: doing the same thing in the nursery as at home+being consistent and patient (teachers and parents as well).
I am very shocked to hear, that the nursery put a nappy on him despite the fact that your son is fully potty trained. Did you agree with that beforehand?
It is totally normal for a child to have accidents in the nursery even if he doesn’t or has less at home. It can also happen, that a child refuses to go to the toilet and either wet himself or holds it all day, plus throws some nice temper tantrums…
There must be several reasons why it happens with some children, but I just tell you a few:
1.) The nursery is a different environment, where there are no mommy and daddy, siblings or the nanny… Even if your child used to go to the same place, it is still a different environment, especially if he was away for some weeks.
2.) The nursery usually a very busy and extremely stimulating place, where children just want to stay in the room or outside playing. Going to the toilet would mean, that they need to finish playing and put their precious toys down.
3.) Bad communication/relation between child and teacher.
4.) There is bullying going on between children.
5.) Showing their will, testing boundaries. There are some children who try to get back to wearing nappies, because a.) it is comfortable and b.) saying ‘no’ gives them a sense of control, power.
Obviously, I don’t know the real reason why the teachers put the nappy back on your child, so I don’t want to be judgemental, but in my opinion, it might have happened that with this action your son got mixed messages: basically he got what he wanted! From that moment on, he became the ‘boss’ and manipulates everyone.
That is my opinion and my advice is this:
At home:
1.) When your child wees on the floor or on the bed, tell him using simple and short sentences that it’s not okay and what he should do instead. You can ask him to help you clean up and ask him to change by himself. Stay with him, show him how to do it (don’t let your child use chemicals of course) and help him a bit.
This can teach him, that every action has consequences, and hopefully he is going to be bored by cleaning up and changing his wet and dirty clothes all the time.
It is very important, that your child should not feel the cleaning up process humiliating! It needs to be absolutely normal, as what others do when they make a mess. No shouting at him or nagging or saying bad words to him. Just act casual and clean up together without using negative comments.
Instead of telling him off, just explain what happened and why you need to clean up, and what to do next time.
As I don’t know how, when and where it exactly happens, I can’t give you more advise than that.
2.) I wouldn’t put nappy on him (don’t even let your child know that there are some at home…) at all. If he refuses to go to the nursery without a nappy, don’t give up, and try everything whatever you can to encourage him to go without it.
3.) Tell the nursery, that they can’t put nappy on him and tell them your, opinion and instructions. Communicate with them daily, and try to work together.
It continues...