To potty train DS before or after new baby?

[Ifyouthinkiwillsleepyoudream]

DS is almost 22 months old. I don't think he is ready to be potty trained yet but he is start showing sings of being aware when he has had a poo. I was thinking to attempt it next spring when he will be about 2.5 yo. Unless of course he shows clear signs that he is ready earlier.

However I have also been thinking that we would like to start trying for a second DC and I might be pregnant by spring - if all goes well. I was thinking it would be a nightmare trying to potty train DS with a newborn but a friend mentioned that it would be bad to do it before I give birth as he might be inclined to start wetting the bed etc as protest once new baby comes - some toddlers do.

So what do you think? Should I potty train DS before giving birth or after?

My second is due in April, when my first wil be 2.5. I'm planning on waiting until that summer so he's least disrupted. That is unless he shows huge signs of being ready in the meantime, which I can't really see happening!

Sounds like our firsts are of similar age @octoberbundle
And congrats on your pregnancy!

What you say makes sense. This way they might enjoy the attention the potty training process will give them and help balance things out with the new baby. I was thinking that next summer mine will be a couple months older than 2.5 and that might be late for potty training but I might have been a little optimistic with my calculations. he may not even be ready at 3 yo. He's a boy and they say boys can be ready later than girls. Who knows though

My DD decided at 22mo that she wouldn't wear nappies any more - DS was 6 weeks old!! So we went for it with potty training. I can't say it was the easiest week with cluster feeding DS and potty training but it wasn't as horrendous as I thought it might be and once we got to the end of the week, it was so much easier than 2 in nappies!

I always recommend the Oh Crap book. DS is 20mo now and I'm starting to think about when I can do it with him.

I wouldn't even try and plan when to do it. There is no point until they are ready. I tried with DS1 at 2yrs as l felt under pressure and it was a nightmare. I then left him till he was 3yrs and we had no accidents.

Ds2 l didn't bow to pressure and left him till he was 3. He was even easier to manage.

Potty training is not something you can plan and put in the calendar. Your DS will pretty much do it himself when he’s ready, and attempting it before that will just be miserable for everyone. He may regress when baby comes, but he may also regress when starting nursery or even school, or for many other reasons.

Wow @teaandbiscuitsforme I can't imagine DS saying he doesn't want nappies right now! I mean, he hates having his nappy changed but there's no way he can communicate that he needs to go yet before he actually does it. I am impressed!

I did DS1 at 2.2 years. 2 months before DS2 was born. We had no regression at all. In fact, DS1 always warned me he needed the toilet because it was the one thing guaranteed to get my full attention !

@FishesThatFly @maerd I know, you are right, about not being able to plan it. But I am a relentless planner by nature and can't help myself trying to

We waited till DD was 2.5 (almost)!and she was in knickers within 5 weeks of introducing the potty. Summer helped!! I’m due #2 in early 2019 and relieved not to have nappies on both!! I’d say don’t rush it, if they’re ready it’s a dream - DD did it entirely of her own accord pretty much - no stickers or bribes or anything - and it was fast and stress free. Good luck!!

Don't over think it too much! I tried with DS just before he was 3 and he wasn't ready. In the end he was nearly 3.5 and my DD was about 8 weeks.
We cracked it pretty much the first day, very few accidents and no stress. Yes it was later than I would have liked but it's done now and it was the opposite of stressful!

I agree you can't really plan it. We just potty trained DD Just weeks before I was due our second DD. She's 2.5. I Had been planning on waiting until she was closer to 3 but she was so ready I didn't want to miss the boat. Everyone thought I was crazy but she was dry in a few days (still nappy at night and for long naps) and she hasn't regressed since DD2 was born (so far!!!). Still not nailed poos yet but it seems that's fairly common!!

I have been trying since he was 2.5. 2nd pregnancy I have been so ill I dropped the whole idea.
Started again when he was 3.5 and baby was 5 weeks. Even though baby is a screamer, it's been good. First 3 days lots of accidents then none for a week! Now just odd one or two.
The rest of his behaviour has been a nightmare since baby arrived but this was relatively straightforward!

I’m having this dilemma. Mine is 2y 4m and we’ll have another baby when she’s 2y8m. She has some of the signs of readiness but not all. She doesn’t always tell us when she’s done a poo and will quite often just lie about it so she doesn’t care. We’ve had the potty available for her for months but she’s never done a wee on it but she loves sitting on the loo and pretending to wipe, flush etc. Sometimes she’ll say she needs a wee but she’s never done one yet. I just don’t know whether to try and crack it before the baby comes or whether to wait until she wants to do it. On everything else she’s very independent, particularly around self-care and I think she has the personality that when she wants to do it she will. Some of her friends are already toilet trained so she seems a bit behind in comparison.

2.4 is not behind at all - I am no expert but it seems v normal to me. I think it's between 2y 6m and 3y that is more like the average... and anyway each child has their own pace with these things. I still haven't worked out my strategy but I am not pregnant yet so there's still time.. DS is 2y this month and he does say when he does a poo some times but not before.. I wonder if it's time to buy a potty to have around just in case it helps inspire him 

So you could be potty training whilst either pregnant, with a newborn or an older mobile baby. You basically need to make the process as quick and easy as possible. That means probably waiting till age 3-3 and a half when your DC will probably do it very easily. What's the rush? They might even refuse nappies before then and you can be led by them.

I had 2 under 2 and haven't found 2 in nappies to be a hardship. It's probably easier to change a nappy than deal with accidents or have to take a toddler to to the toilet with a newborn so my plan is to not rush it and wait til he seems ready.

I decided to start potty training our Daughter when she was 2yrs 1month. I was approx 25wks pregnant when we did it and she was a superstar. Had it sussed and barely any accidents within a week. Baby no;2 arrived when eldest was 2yrs 4mths and I was never so glad that we had done the whole potty training thing. I exclusively pumped for our 2nd Daughter and between that, feeding her and normally new born baby stuff as well as dealing with an older sibling I don't think we could have managed potty training too.

I'd read Oh Crap and train now. She's showing lots of positive signs - being ready doesn't mean that they have to be able to tell you they need to wee/poo. That's what they learn.

I had two under 2 and DD refused to wear nappies when cluster feeding DS was 6 weeks old. It would have been much easier to have trained her whilst pregnant rather than with a newborn as well.

In my experience PT is easy if they are ready, and hard if they aren’t. If you have a reason to do it early (e.g. don’t want to keep buying nappies), then you can train children, but if they aren’t ready, it takes a lot more effort. The older / more receptive they are, the easier it is.

I am due with my second in December, DD has just turned 2 and we potty trained this week. Like others, we relied on the oh crap method & we are now day 7 and day 3 of no accidents. I have been using nappies at night. It requires a lot of attention so, for me, I am happy we did it before second baby arrived, although no guarantee there won’t be a regression! Good luck!

I would say (with the obvious proviso that you aren't even pregnant yet, nobody knows how long it will take you to be pregnant and nobody yet knows how easy your toddler will take to toilet training) that you should just try to go with the potty training when your child is seeming ready, rather than timing it around a baby that doesn't exist yet. That said, my DS was mid toilet training at 2 y10 m and my DD was born, and it all slid because I was in hospital for a few days, and it really set him back, so maybe best to delay a few weeks if you're about to give birth.

You're not pregnant yet.. calm down!

I'm in the do it when DC are ready camp ; it is like a lot of stages , if you try to force it it becomes a chore and stressful. If you wait until they are ready somewhere between 2 and 3 1/2 it will be painless. If you think they are ready and you get a few accidents just stop for a few months and retry, no problem. Nights cannot be 'trained' that really is waiting until nappy is consistently dry in the mornings. Having decided that DC are out of nappies I would 'go for it 'by which I mean nappies off all day , no messing around with pull-ups when out etc. You will soon know if they are ready.

Just stop thinking about it and leave it to him. My DD decided at 2.8 and my DS at 2.6 and went from nappies to no accidents in 3 days. I didn't have to train anything, they had 1-2 accidents the first couple of days and then figured it out completely.

I was hoping my son would be out of nappies before next baby comes along but that ain't happening, too late now.
He's just not interested, he puts the seat in the toilet and walks away 🙈 and the potty is just a toy carrier at the moment. He is showing awareness that he has done something.

I'm just going to leave it until he shows signs of being ready himself, hopefully it won't be as soon as baby is here