Help getting my 5yo dry at night

[WhatTheWatersShowedMe]

Just that really. DD was potty trained just before she turned 3 and is fine during the day barring the odd accident but has never been dry at night. She had some potty training issues because of constipation which we sorted out at the time with Movicol, and still has a bit of a slow bowel but not to the point where it’s causing her discomfort.

Other than that she’s got no health or developmental issues and is generally a happy, bright little kid. We’re not making a big deal of it as I don’t think she can control it.

She wears pull ups to bed. when they’ve leaked or we’ve tried without them and she’s wet the bed she doesn’t tell us- instead she gets up, takes off her pyjamas and puts a towel on the wet mattress and just goes back to sleep.

She does wants to stop wearing them as she feels a bit babyish. Problem is, she is a very deep sleeper and just isn’t waking up when she needs to wee.

Can anyone who has been in a smimilar situation give me any tips on how to help her? She gets very upset if she can’t master something straight away so I want to do this in as light and gentle a way as possible so she doesn’t feel like a failure.

Being dry at night is hormonal. She can't 'learn' it if her body isn't ready. My DS1 is 6 and a half and has only been night dry for a couple of months. It's not unusual.
Sounds like you might need to up a night pull up size though if she's routinely leaking.

There are mats I think you can get that may help with waking when wetting the bed, you can reduce liquids before bed and try to do a dream wee at night and I know people who have been successful with those, however there is only so much ‘training’ you can do. It’s down to biology and if the hormones to reduce the urine production haven’t developed then it’s highly unlikely that she will be able to be dry during the night. These hormones can take up to 7 years of age (sometimes longer) to kick in. By all means try to train her and it may work, but it’s still completely normal at his age for this to happen.

See the ERIC website for advice.

Oh bless. I felt really sad when you said that she won't tell you when she's wet the bed? Have you spoken to her about this and has she said why? Is she self conscious about it?

I can't remember how old my DD was before she was reliably dry at night but it was a lot older than 5.

We just had to limit drinks for about an hour before bedtime, get her to do a double wee (something the Dr recommended but I can't really remember what it involves) and wake her up to go to the toilet again when we went to bed.

I teach primary and it's really common for 5 year olds not to be dry at night.

My dd was the same. Something finally clicked at around 5 and a half - maybe a little later. She still has the occasional accident. Mattress protector and those bed pads were/are essential along with patience. You really do need to bide your time unfortunately.

Try putting a pair of normal pants on her underneath the pull up. This way she'll feel the wetness a bit better and might help her begin to wake up when she needs to go.

Take her for a dream pee before you go to bed at night? We are having some success with this with our DC.

Although if they don't get dry I wouldn't stress it, I wet the bed until much older than I'd like to admit, however I got there. They will too.

Put her on the loo for a wee when you go up to bed and get the wee mat thingys to put on top of the sheets. We had a washable one. The lifting last thing at night is a pain but very effective. We found that a few nights lifting our DD (even when she said she didn't need a wee she'd do one on the loo) and she'd be much happier when she realised her bed was dry in the morning. We never made a big deal out of it either.

Fatted
Oh bless. I felt really sad when you said that she won't tell you when she's wet the bed? Have you spoken to her about this and has she said why? Is she self conscious about it?

I think it’s a combination of weird practicality on her part and probably not wanting to make too much of a fuss as she shares her room with our 2yo DS (bunk bed) and doesn’t want to wake him up by getting us through to change the sheets. I’ve told her it’s not her fault if she wets the bed and we’re happy to come in and change the bed. She doesn’t seem upset or ashamed about it in the morning and the reaction from us is always very bland “Oh never mind, we’ll sort it out” kind of thing.

Thanks for all the advice on this thread, we’ll probably try out the dream wee and see if that helps. Knowing that it’s a hormonal issue is actually really reassuring as DD gets very frustrated and upset if she can’t do something that seems like it should be easy. Telling her it’s somethjng her body isn’t making yet will go a long way to making her feel better.

OP - have you had success with the dream wee? My just turned 6 year old DD is also still wetting at night and I need ideas!

We're in the same boat. Hoping he grows out of it eventually too as he's just started school and he worries his new friends will find out he wears pull ups still.

I'm told I was 8 before going dry (tmi?). I can assure you I am now. I think children do it when they're ready.