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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Almost 3yr old won’t attempt potty training, stuck first ideas

18 replies

cloudybay27 · 24/02/2018 08:08

DD2 is 3 next week. We’ve tried potty training three times since approx 2yrs4 months which is when DD1 started.

She’s fully aware of when she is doing a wee/poo and wants a nappy change but is adamant she doesn’t want to try on the potty or toilet seat.

We’ve tried bribery, stickers, potty book, buying new pants, chocolate buttons! I don’t know what else to do.

Do I just wait even longer or take the nappies off? I feel like she’s developed a serious aversion to it!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

thethoughtfox · 24/02/2018 08:38

Take the pressure off and don't mention it for a while. If it becomes a 'thing', they get all stressed about it or it becomes a power struggle. Leave the potty about and suggest the book to read together very now and again. Was the book Princess Polly? Mine loved when I acted out the 'is it a silly hat?' bit, put it on my head and pretended I didn't know what it was used for. She took great pleasure in laughing at silly mummy and showing me how to sit on it. They will do it eventually.

Igottastartthinkingbee · 24/02/2018 08:42

Just wait. I tried once with DD just before she was 3 and she was having none of it. I waited another six weeks or so and tried again. For some reason she went with it (first day or so was complete disaster though!). Don’t stress is the most important thing. Give it a couple of days and see if she looks like she’s getting it. If she’s not at all try again another time.

CottonSock · 24/02/2018 08:43

We used sweets.. bribes

BetterEatCheese · 24/02/2018 08:47

We waited and at 3 years 3 months she decided she didn't want a nappy and was dry at night too within 2 weeks. So much pressure to train early and they're not all ready. Up until this point she wouldn't even sit on a potty!

Babdoc · 24/02/2018 09:01

How much older is DD1? Could she employ some useful sibling rivalry, mocking DD2’s nappies and calling her a baby, plus boasting that she could use the lavatory much younger? It might just goad DD1 into trying to prove she is a “big girl” after all! You could also say that DD2 must take her own soiled nappies to the bin - at the moment she has you ministering to her at every nappy change and dancing attendance on her. If she has to do some of the chore herself, it becomes less attractive as a power play.
Alternstively you can resign yourself to the prolonged cost and nuisance of nappies and just wait. Most kids manage to ditch nappies by the time they hit play group or school - I doubt this will be an issue for you for much longer.

Babdoc · 24/02/2018 09:02

Sorry, that should read “ goad DD2..”!

cookielove · 24/02/2018 09:06

Have you actually tried by putting a nappy on? Your post isn't clear!

MachineBee · 24/02/2018 09:08

I’d wait until the warmer weather in the spring and encourage lots of garden time with no nappies and the potty outside. Any accidents are less of an issue. However, I would become slower to change her nappies, involve her in clearing things up at change time and start to let her desire to remain in nappies impact on her more.

Igottastartthinkingbee · 24/02/2018 09:10

I have to disagree with babdoc! Can’t see any need for the older sibling to be encouraged to be goady!!!! Good luck op, I’m sure she’ll go with it when she’s good and ready.

FaithEverPresent · 24/02/2018 09:16

I would leave it. There’s being physically ready but not psychologically ready. I’d wait til the weather is warmer as pp suggested, nappy off, potty around and see what happens.

I wouldn’t get her sibling to goad her personally! I know people who have rewarded the older sibling along with the child potty training - then the older sibling becomes like a cheerleader! That can work really well.

OuchBollocks · 24/02/2018 09:18

I cannot conceive of any circumstance wherrme encouraging a child to mock and goad a younger sibling would be helpful

OP I agree, take the pressure off and leave it until the weather warms a little. I had nightmares with DD when she was 2.11, I sacked it off a couple of months and it was a breeze when she was 3.1.

Rainshowers · 24/02/2018 09:27

My DD would get so worked up about anything potty training related. She once had a half hour meltdown over a pair of knickers. We tried everything, bribery, chocolate, silly YouTube videos, books, paw patrol knickers....nothing worked. Until she decided she was ready (which wasn't until she was 3 years 4 months) and then she got it pretty much instantly, and was dry both day and night. Yes she was the last of her friends to do it (although most were still in nappies overnight) but we got there in the end.

DenPerry · 24/02/2018 09:48

Ours wasn't interested so we waited and he's finally getting it at 3years 10 months. No point stressing over it if it's not happening!

Original poster

cloudybay27 · 24/02/2018 10:45

THank you! This makes me feel much better. DH and I aren’t hugely bothered by rushing her into it, she is quite sensitive and seems stressed by it which we don’t want want. Lots of pressure from grandparents (annoying!) who don’t seem to realise that a almost 3yr old can be rather strong willed.

DD2 has tried to encourage and kindly demonstrated the toilet seat to DD1 (with bribery as she is 6!) but it didn’t work.

DH tried this morning and she did a wee on the floor so I think we will wait another month and try again in ‘spring’ it it ever comes! Also she seemed taken by the idea of paw patrol potty so perhaps will take her to buy that.

Thanks for then reassurance, I think as DD1 was relatively young when she did it we have expected the same which is unfair but if she doesn’t want to do it we can’t make her!

OP posts:

askjeeves · 24/02/2018 11:24

My DD was like this. I knew she had the skillz, but she just refused point blank to try. Would hold on and on to her wee if I took her nappy off. For like hours. I think there was bit of a mental block and she was worried about peeing into a potty.

When she was about 3.4, as soon as she woke up (nappy was dry) I "treated" her to an episode of her favourite tv show as long as she'd watch it on the potty. No pressure to do anything, just sit on it to watch. Lo and behold, the early morning wee came. "mummy, it didn't even hurt at all!!" Dry ever since. She just needed to get over that first wee.

Good luck.

MachineBee · 24/02/2018 14:19

Ah. The wonderful, helpful suggestions from Grandparents. Just ignore.

DenPerry · 25/02/2018 09:21

Yeah same with the grandparents here OP. I think it's because they all did it at less than 2 years old and think we should all be doing the same... but they were in a rush to potty train because reusable nappies were so much effort. It sounds like it took months and months but they kept going as they didn't want to keep washing pooey material in a bucket!
Nappies are so convenient now and DS wouldn't keep still until he was about 3, so no chance of keeping him on a potty... then it's taken a while for
his speech to come in so couldn't explain it to him hence why he's only just getting it at 3yrs 10 months.
I sometimes think if I could have it done it earlier but I'm not sure how.. I'm sure if nappies were like they were back in the day then I would have found a way

KimmySchmidt1 · 08/03/2018 11:21

Have you tried having a long conversation about it with her and why it’s important to learn and to give her confidence that she can do it? And asking her why she doesn’t want to?
I find talking things through and explaining the whys and wherefores is much more effective than bribery.

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