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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

Potty training DD1. Help!

15 replies

KitKat1985 · 30/10/2017 09:01

Help! I'm yet again trying to potty train my 3 year old DD and I'm already stressed. It's not even the extra laundry etc, I just find it so frustrating that she doesn't 'get it' when most of her peers have been potty trained a while now (I'm not letting this on though obviously). I've tried reading her books / showing her videos about potty training, giving her stickers for using the potty, showing her toys using the potty etc. I keep sitting her on the potty regularly but she doesn't do anything and then normally ends up wetting / soiling herself a few mins later, and THEN telling me she needs the potty (I.E, when it's already too late). She gets the concept of what the potty is for and knows the 'routine' of it all (I.E, use potty, then wipe bottom and wash hands etc) but just doesn't seem to be getting that she needs to be on the potty before she opens her bladder / bowels. Please, please, please those with older children who are potty trained tell me how you did it!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Mustang27 · 30/10/2017 13:25

I have no advice but watching for people who do as I’m in a similar boat at the moment.

AppleTrayBake · 30/10/2017 13:42

I don't think there's anything more you can do that you haven't already tried at this point. If she's not 'getting it' then she's just not ready.

If you're stressed, she's probably stressed too. I would stop and try again in another month or so.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 30/10/2017 13:43

So she’s got the first stage - I’ve done a wee. She now needs the second stage (I’m weeing) so that she can move onto the final stage (I need to do a wee).

You’ve obviously tried a fair few things but my only advice is to try reading Oh Crap and see what you think of the method. She does recommend 20-30 months but I still think it could work. Basics are that you need to leave her bottomless in the house for a day or so and watch for the sign that she’s about to wee. When she starts to wee, calmly move to the potty saying hold it or if you catch her before she wees, ‘come on, it’s time to wee’. This builds that second block of ‘I’m weeing’. Then you move on to putting trousers on but no underwear as it gives the security feeling of a nappy. Then a few weeks later you add in underwear.

It’s a bit complicated to explain in a post but the book is well worth a read IMO.

Mustang27 · 30/10/2017 13:50

Tea I’m in the middle stage with my 28 month old he will happily trot about nappyless and take himself off to the potty to pee, freaks out about poo. Put trousers on him and he just pees them. Il look up the book and see what I’m doing wrong.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 30/10/2017 13:56

The book is my only frame of reference so I recommend it all the time! But everybody I know who’s used it (and a fair few people on here) have all had a lot of success.

There’s a whole chapter on poo - delightful! But it might help. It must be really stressful if he’s built up a fear of it. Sounds like wees are going really well though!

I will warn you, Oh Crap is a bit American but just ignore all of that. It’s also a very easy read so doesn’t take too much time or effort.

teaandbiscuitsforme · 30/10/2017 13:58

Sorry, missed the bit about wees in trousers- going well when naked then!! Are you putting underwear on or just trousers? And are the trousers really easy for him to push down on his own?

staplegunner · 30/10/2017 14:04

Following this thread. My DD is the same. Interested in the potty / toilet routine but yet to do anything in the potty but tells me she needs the toilet as soon as she's done something in her nappy. Just started to make a routine of her sitting on it regularly and she spends most days wearing her 'big girl pants' over her leggings.

ibentmywookie · 30/10/2017 14:12

I second the 'Oh Crap' recommendation. My daughter was dry within a week, and dry at night a fortnight later, the author makes so much sense. I won't lie, the first two days under house arrest, pouring water/juice into a nappy free child, were a bit grim.

One thing she says is not to keep asking if they need a wee (you look out for physical cues as mentioned above), you just remind them regularly where the potty is. The aim is to get them to recognise the urge, rather than putting them physically on the potty every half hour in the hope of a wee. I also found after a few days that if I wandered into another room, rather than hovering over her. she was more likely to use the potty.

Good luck. Just be consistent and, if it's not sticking after a week, then try again in a month or so.

Mustang27 · 30/10/2017 14:16

Loose trousers/pyjama bottoms he can pull down easily and no pants as I had thought they would lure him into a false sense of security.

He isn’t absolutely terrified or screaming about poo just freaks and requests a nappy if he wants to go but he doesn’t seem to like the sensation of the poo touching his bum in a nappy, it’s a weird one. I’m hoping just gently reminding him his potty is there for poops as well that he will get into the swing of it. He was loving pooping in his potty for awhile then went off it. I’m hoping if not done something wrong. I will definitely look the book up as I feel I’m just winging it right now.

Sorry op just crashed your thread

teaandbiscuitsforme · 30/10/2017 14:17

Good point Wookie - asking ‘do you need a wee’ seemed to be the least likely way to get my DD to wee. Always better if it was a statement.

I also quite often used to say something like ‘I’m going in the kitchen. The potty’s there if you need it.’ Backing off really seemed to help.

Original poster

KitKat1985 · 30/10/2017 14:28

Thank you. Some good advice here. I've taken her knickers off now so she doesn't have that nappy-type feeling.

There doesn't seem to be any obvious physical signs that she's about to wee (no holding herself or fidgeting or anything), so I think I might struggle with that.

Will definitely look up 'Oh Crap'.

Oh and please don't worry about jumping onboard the thread Mustang27. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this toilet training hell!

OP posts:

teaandbiscuitsforme · 30/10/2017 14:30

OP My daughter used to pause just before she started to wee. Took ages to spot it!!

Good luck!

Igottastartthinkingbee · 30/10/2017 14:38

Placemarking for tips/solidarity! Tried my DD a month or so ago. Total disaster. She turned 3 a few weeks ago. Will try again soon as she's much happier to have a sit on the potty/toilet now. Before she refused to go near it after a few requests that she have a little try.

Good to know I'm not the only one with a 3 year old DD who isn't done yet. So many people keep telling me that their DD was easy/done at 18 months/practically trained themselves - not what I need to hear!!

Scrumptiousbears · 30/10/2017 14:50

I tried to potty train my DD a few times just before she was 3. She was great for a morning then she gave up. One day when she was 3 and 1 month we tried again and she just got it. To wait for her was so much easier the to force it.

Original poster

KitKat1985 · 30/10/2017 14:53

Oh Christ yes. The next person who tells me that their DD / DS was trained as a foetus and it did take some persistence as it took nearly half an hour will be murdered (possibility of slight exaggeration in example).

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