Help!! Feels like it will never end

[Graced2015]

My little girl is 3 next February, and we started potty training her about 9-10months ago, but it has always been the case that we have to pot her, she very rarely tells us she needs a wee or goes herself. She will just wet herself and then tell me, so it feels like unless I am 100% on the ball, which is difficult with a 5month old too, that we just have lots of accidents.
It feels like we can't go back to nappies now as it has been so long! We do use pull ups when we're out for a long time.
Any advice as to how to help her go herself? Or just any advice.... Thanks xx

'We do use pull ups when we're out for a long time. '

That is going to add to your problem.

It's one or the other. You can't put her in nappies when it suits and then expect her to adapt to pants.

Pants at all times (except for bed).

Three stages.

1. Put her on the potty at regular intervals and praise like mad when she goes. Use sweets or stickers or whatever she covets. Once she can reliably go when instructed i.e. has control of her muscles move to step 2.

1. Stop putting her on the potty, but ask her regularly if she wants to/needs to. If she says yes and goes, huge praise. If she says no, then don't put her on the potty, let her have an accident. Be disappointed about the accident, but not angry/cross. Take a 'oh dear, I think we left it a bit too long this time didn't we?! Let's try even harder to make it to the loo next time!' approach. When she is regularly going with prompts and not having accidents move to step three.

1. Slowly reduce the prompts. At this point she should be starting to go independently. Initially I would keep the prompts if you are out or going out, but if you're home let her remember for herself. If this means she has an accident, so be it. She needs to learn what the 'I need to go NOW' feels like and she will, next time she'll get there in time. Same thing re. loads of praise for going in the loo and disappointment if she doesn't make it.

It should take about two weeks from step one to starting step three. Within a month she should be going independently 95% of the time. It's likely that she will still need the occasional prompt if she's really engrossed in something or a bit tired/cross/upset for a few years yet! Even 5 or 6 year olds will have the occasional 'I'm so engrossed in this' accident, but it should be once every few months at most, not all the time.

On the advice of my health visitor I've always waited until mine turned 3 , seems to work well they got it pretty quick, maybe she just isn't ready.