Four year old doesn't know when he's having a poo....

[Loopyloop86]

My four-year-old (well, next month anyway!) is half potty trained. He doesn't wear nappies anymore, and can wee on the toilet just fine, but he poos in his pants. He doesn't seem to know when he needs a poo - or actually even know when he's having one.

He really wants to poo on the toilet (he wants the rewards I've set out for him if he does!) but just doesn't seem to recognise he needs to go. He keeps saying "tomorrow I'll be able to".

Is that normal? I'm a little worried. I mean, his friends have all been potty trained for two years now!! Luckily he's a September-born kid so he doesn't start school this year otherwise I'd be really nervous.

That's difficult as I have no idea why it might be happening but it's not quite normal so I'd maybe do a bit of research and see a GP. I'd say however there are plenty of people who have been through this with their4 yr old so hopefully someone will come along with advice soon.

karate - yes it doesn't seem normal to me either. Tonight, for example, he was talking to me and then suddenly said "I need a wee!" And I asked if he needed a poo as well and he said he'd just done one in his pants, while he was talking to me. I asked if he felt it coming and he said no and looked a it sad about it. And then had a wee on the toilet just fine.

An hour later, he was jumping on the bed and did another poo (all caught in his pants).

He had no clue that time it was coming, either...

Sorry if this all sounds a bit yuck!

Think I will book a gp appointment...

I'm sure you're not alone in this and that something will help him click with it. Good luck!

So sorry to hear this OP. How frustrating for you all. You sound like you're managing really well not to give DS anxieties about it though so well done, I'm sure it must be hard. It presumably does take some children longer to recognise the different urges for pees and poos. We are just in midst of potty training DS 2.11 who knows when he wants a pee but hasn't quite caught on with poos, although he does sometimes know something's up and requests a nappy. The fact that your DS doesn't seem to be bothered by pooing (doesn't stop his activity to do it or hide from you whilst pooing etc) would suggest something not quite clicking - GP a good place to start.

My daughter did this for a year! Every day pooed in kickers after being potty trained. She was then ok for about 6 months then due to food intolerance suffered from constipation. No idea if the two were linked!

Following with interest as having exactly the same problem with my DS who is 3.5. I'm trying so hard not to lose my temper with him but I can't understand how he can not realise he needs a poo, and go and sit on the toilet before doing it. Since coming out of Nappies two and a half weeks he has not had one single wee accident but I am having to clean poo up to three times a day and I had to clean poo footprints off the carpet today - I'm going insane!!

MiaowTheCat - oh no! That sounds like such a nightmare! Okay I am going to ring ERIC and find out more. Feeling like something is going on and I should get some help for him.

So sorry your DD might miss school over it - hope it resolves really quickly

You should take him to the doctor. In the mean time help him by watching closely and telling him when he is pooing (if you can tell). Otherwise ask him to focus on the feeling when he has a poo in his pants. Most children start by identifying that they have already pooed then associate that with the feeling whilst pooing and then learn to anticipate it.

Any chance the op is stil around and might be up to update what happened ?

Got the same issues with my 3.5 year old and no idea what to do.

@Toothdrama I just came on to post the same question about my 5 yo. Is there any chance your DC is constipated? That was absolutely the first thing for us they checked

@SleepingStandingUp

We have gone through the constipation scenario and she was put on movicol. And although it helped I think it now means she doesnt know when she needs to go. Her stools are relatively soft consistency in her knickers and the few she does get into the toilet.

I am desperately trying not to make a big deal of it but it's getting very frustrating

Oh I feel you SO much, DS claims to not know he's done one even though he SMELLS so bad. And he's y1.

We're on movicol for constipation and then new Dr gave us Senna which is meant to give the sensation of needing it and then a fairly regular bowel movement (the idea being to time it for home) but he's still all over the place and says he doesn't know it's coming. He was also v late to toilet train for wees (Jan this year) and has occasional accidents