DS not telling us he's done a poo...

[CarrotFingers]

DS is very nearly 3. He's not shown any interest in learning to use the potty/toilet apart from the odd wee in the potty at home, and one isolated wee in the toilet at nursery. All fine - we're not rushing him, he's got a new baby sister and we've got a house move on the horizon so we're keen not to add another layer of stress to his life at the moment.

However - he doesn't tell us/nursery when he's done a poop, meaning he's now got a sore bum. We check his nappy regularly as do nursery but it's often not until we see him tugging it or looking a bit glassy-eyed and distant that we realise, he'll have done a huge poo in his nappy but not told us. I think it's basically a chore for him to stop what he's doing and lie still for 30 seconds to have a fresh nappy on, so he puts it off as long as he can.

Does anyone have any ideas how we can encourage him to let us know? We gently explain every time it happens to let one of us know, and that it's giving him a sore bum, but he always looks away, starts squealing or starts talking about something else.

Maybe he doesn't know?

As a general rule if a child is capable of reliably and immediately telling you they've done a poo, they need to be out of nappies.

If you don't want to potty train yet, there isn't much you can do beyond:

-check his nappy regularly

• get to know his poop schedule, most kids poo at a regular time

-keep explaining why he needs to tell you -make a huge fuss/reward him when he does tell you.

Having a 3 yr old dd who is a champion poo witholder (record is 12 days) I would say don't make too much of an issue of it otherwise he may decide that he doesn't want to poo at all!!

He has started pooing outside of his regular hours nuff which has been part of the problem. He always (really always, since he was much younger) went morning and sometimes evening but recently it's been anytime, and up to 3/4 times a day. He hasn't needed a nappy changing during an afternoon out of the house for months, but recently we've had to do it a few times. His diet hasn't changed.

Explaining why he needs to tell us is met by squealing and squirming, and attempting to run off or talking over me about something unrelated. I think he feels and recognises the urge to poo so knows when he's doing it, but he finds it a chore to lie still long enough to have his nappy changed. So he puts it off. He always lies as well so if I say 'have you done a poo DS?' (in a conversational way) he always says no, then wriggles and cries when we change him. But even though he seems to dislike nappy changes he's not interested in progressing to the potty/loo.

You will just have to keep checking him and put nappy rash cream on if he's sore. My now six year old never once told me he had done a poo. He would just not answer me if I asked him.

12 days thingy that must have been so hard! We really do keep it relaxed and chatty - no one has ever got cross with him or put any pressure on him regarding toilet issues, when I explain he'll get sore if he doesn't tell us it's always with a cuddle and gentle tones. The one time he did a wee on the little loo at nursery he was met with praise, as he is at home when he does the odd wee here.

I think you're right flanders, I will just increase the checks and slather on the cream. I do generally see him do poos at home or smell them (but weirdly lots of them don't smell until I open the nappy!), it's the ones he does when we're out that are harder to spot as he's often running round and he went so long never doing poos outside of his usual routine.

Same age DS here who is exactly the same, although I genuinely don't think he is aware he is pooing a lot of the time - even if I catch him pulling a 'poo face' he will deny all knowledge if I ask him.

Why wouldn't you just keep checking him? Can you not smell him?

I also had a withholding DD. She would only poo every few days, when she absolutely had to, and only in a nappy until 1 month ago. She is very nearly 6.

Basically, every child is different. DS2 was entirely out of nappies day & night from 21 months. We'd put a nappy on him at night & he'd wake up & take it off to go to the toilet.

DS1 was in pull ups at night time until the age of 7. Usually only for wee but occasionally he'd do a poo in his sleep.

DD, as I have said, had problems until almost 6.

No need to worry about any of it.

He is checked frequently, and I've already explained they don't always smell. Plus he's doing them at times he never did before so it's been harder to spot.

Today he's asked for a nappy change twice after poops so progress! I'd seen him do them and he came straight over and asked for a change.