Struggling to potty/ toilet train 3 year old

[user1496059477]

Don't know if anyone could provide advice. Getting really stressed though trying not to show it with DS doing toilet training (prefers toilet to potty), we're only a day or so into it but so far 100% accidents. I was a little unsure he was ready as he's never prompted me that's he wants a wee wee or poo although we had a professional come in recently who said he was (he's v bright and quick on the uptake but not always v focused and easily distracted). Part of the problem is that we live in a small rented flat largely carpeted that was never designed for children and has a bad layout with the bathroom right at the back of the flat. It's also a bit dark and gloomy and the weather not good enough for going outside so I'm really getting down (we're having to do it this week as my DP is off work, he seldom takes leave). My son is going delirious indoors and resistant to going on the toilet at times and I keep missing it when he goes. He's just in training pants so he can feel the wet but the discomfort doesn't seem to make any difference to him. To boot he also does large and leaky poo's so am limited to go out v far. I know we're only a day into it but can somebody reassure me that the first days are the worst and then something clicks into place and it gets much easier.

Read oh crap potty training and then get him a naked bottom until he's grasped the whole needing to wee = going on the potty to have a wee. You can get it on kindle so you could read it tonight (on your phone if necessary).
It is brilliant and sorted DD (just 2) very rapidly.

Thanks for the advice, will definitely take a look at the book. Disastrous day at nursery with poo's and wees all over the floor and told basically that he's not ready to train. Decided to abort training for now and wait a little while until he shows more signs of readiness and awareness of the need to go to the toilet. Am sure it shouldn't be quite this stressful and making us all so miserable. Guess every child matures at different rates and DS is so good at many things but just a late starter in this area.

I've got three children. 1st DD was happy to run round with no nappy and have happy accidents in the potty before progressing to toilet. DS1 was 3 1/2 before going straight to the toilet and went for the full on hands on hips waggle the willy into the loo approach. Dry at night 1 week later. dS2 is 4. He is dry and nappy free at night but will only wee and pooh in a nappy during the day and treats the toilet as if it's the work of the devil and he would surely shrivel up like a salted slug if he sat on it. They are all different and do their own thing. If they aren't ready by not giving lots of signals and signs eg uncomfortable in a wet/soiled nappy, telling you they want changing, show interest in sitting on the potty/nappy, can pull trousers/pants up and down independently, can say they are about to or have just done a wee/pooh etc etc. Just stop and wait. Chronological age is not relevant, developmental stage and personal readiness is he important thing and will avoid stress on both sides of the timing isn't right.

Thank you so much, what a reassuring post and just what i needed to hear after such a disheartening day. To be honest DS isn't really showing any of the signs you mention and is usually oblivious when his nappy is soiled or wet unless it's really bad! It's obvious you speak from a lot of experience and interesting to hear how different they all are. It's been made a bit harder in that all DS's peers are now fully trained and also that DS is bigger and looks older than his age so looks a little incongruous in nappies although i know I shouldn't really worry about what others think. You're definitely right, I just need to put it on the backburner for now so when he is properly ready it'll be a far easier experience. thanks again.