3 year old can't 'release' wee

[Beyondtheshore]

I have a just turned 3 year old. She seems to want to potty train, likes her knickers, asks to sit on the toilet etc. But when she gets there she just can't wee! She can sit for ages quite happily, but nothing comes out and she gets distressed and runs off. We had two hours yesterday of her doing a wee dance, sitting down to wee, crying and then standing up again. Eventually I persuaded her to do it in her nappy, although she wasn't keen. This has been going on for a week now. Any ideas??

I've thought of taking her to the doctor, but I don't think it's a UTI or a physical issue, because she wees fine when she's distracted (and usually in a nappy, but also some nappy free accidents.)

I've tried having her blow bubbles on the toilet and pouring a little bit of warm water between her legs, but nothing.

I wouldn't mind putting her back in nappies and leaving it a bit, but SHE keeps asking to go on the toilet! It seems a bit ridiculous to say no, but equally she doesn't seem quite ready and I worry we're confusing her by switching between nappy and toilet.

Any advice? I'm finding it so hard watching her struggle and get upset / uncomfortable.

GP for starters to rule out a UTI.

Have you put loads of loo roll into the toilet so it doesn't make any noise or splash Back??

Thanks, I've got an appointment later today. I don't think it is that, because of the difference in the way she is when she's not thinking about as opposed to when she's under pressure (from herself, that is, not from me!) But yes, it can't hurt to check.

Oh no haven't tried to loo roll one, thank you! (Though we haven't actually got as far as any wee going INTO the toilet, let alone splashing back out again)

Running water, and distracting her while she is sat? Bubbles, books, singing etc. Jokes... Don't make sitting on the potty about releasing, as she's obviously got the wires crossed. Make it about the other stuff, and the release will happen on its own.

Sorry, just seen you've done all that

If she wants to sit on the toilet and try just let her - thats ok.

If nothing happens - that's ok too.

If she wees in her nappy - that's ok.

It all sounds a bit too pressured to me. Just relax. She might just follow suite.

*suit!

From my point of view, it's absolutely fine if nothing happens - no pressure from me! To be honest I'd happily keep her in nappies for a bit. But SHE'S decided she wants to wee on the toilet and is getting herself in a right old flap when she can't!

This is a bit embarrassing but my dd who recently potty trained was like this the first few days. It was stressful. In the end it off sheer desperation I sat on the potty and did a wee! As soon as I'd cleaned it she wanted a go, sat on it and finally let go!

Beyondtheshore how did you get on? My ds is a bit like this. Can't release his pee on the potty. Sits on it and try but says I can't do it. This is only day one for us.
I might try the blowing bubbles to see if that helps.