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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Anyone feel like you've got the only child left in nappies?

44 replies

NeedACleverNN · 05/06/2016 19:22

Dd is 3.3 and I honesty feel like sometimes she's the only one left in nappies..

She has the occasional wee on the potty, no poo yet. I try to encourage her to go bare bum or wear knickers around the house but she refuses and just wants her nappy on.

I know I can't rush her and she will do it in her own time but I have no idea how to encourage her to do it

OP posts:
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Bungleboggs · 05/06/2016 19:45

My twins were 3.10 when I finally cracked it, we had a week at home with just pants and they got it on the end. She's still got plenty of time. I just told them that id run out of nappies so they would have to be big boys during the day! I know how it feels I was petrified my two would start school in pull ups !!x

calamityjam · 05/06/2016 19:52

I know that I will get flamed for this but heyho. In my opinion 3 years is the very latest that a child should be in nappies. After having brought up 5 of my own and been a nursery nurse, I have never understood how parents still have children in nappies at 4 and 5 years old. If mine weren't out of nappies at 2.5, they wouldn't have gone to nursery, they didn't allow it. Nowadays nurseries are obliged to accept kids of all ages in nappies. Children in nappies at 3 is a new phenomenom of the last 10 years.

DearTeddyRobinson · 05/06/2016 20:05

In my limited experience, you have to make some kids do it. No, they don't want to get out of nappies, why would they, it's way more convenient! You have to basically force the issue if you believe your child is capable.
So, no nappies, sit on the loo every hour or whatever, and just make it the new reality.
She'll pick it up pretty quickly.

Eminybob · 05/06/2016 20:13

And how is your post helpful to the op in the slightest calamity?

Sorry op I wish I could help, I'm on the look out for tips when I start training DS

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 05/06/2016 20:19

My son is 3.4 and still in nappies - he will get it when he's ready.

hangingoutattheendofmywick · 05/06/2016 20:21

mummyswritingdarling.co.uk/son-decides-shit-none-beeswax/ #justsayin

ouryve · 05/06/2016 20:22

I'd say my 10 year old, but I know he's not the only one.

3.3 is pretty much within the normal range.

ZippyNeedsFeeding · 05/06/2016 20:30

All but one of my four were late in potty training. The 4th was trained by the 1st and 2nd! It can feel like it will never happen but it will- when was the last time you saw a child going to school in nappies?

My second was very stubborn about it and refused to potty train until we told him that he couldn't start nursery and play in their sandpit until he could use a toilet. That motivated him and he was trained very soon afterwards.

I think with number 3, we had to "run out" of nappies one day. Once he realised it wasn't so awful, he was fine.

You might get the odd comment from the very competitive mothers (the same ones who always wanted to know if your baby could do x yet, because little Jocasta was born being able to dance the tango.) Ignore them, nobody worth listening to gives a flying fig.

Toomanymarsbars · 05/06/2016 20:37

My MIL made a good point. She said that "in the old days" (ie, not all hat long ago), nappies weren't like they are these days where the wetness is drawn away from the skin more efficiently. Children felt wet and were more aware of being wet from a much earlier age, which is why they were more aware at an earlier age and more receptive to potty training earlier. These days nappies are so good it takes kids time to learn. Don't worry, they'll get it eventually, there's no rush right now x

FourForYouGlenCoco · 05/06/2016 20:47

I felt just the same - DD wasn't even late training but all, literally ALL, her little mates were trained long before she was and their mums never shut up about it. I was so so stressed thinking she'd be in nappies forever! And I do agree with TeddyRobinson - she is v lazy and if I'd waited til she did it herself I'd probably still be waiting now. I just got so fed up one day that I decided that was it, we were toilet training - I don't know if she could tell I was 100% serious or what, but it worked! I knew she was perfectly capable of it though - would have been a different story if I thought she wasn't ready.
And you know what, I really wish I hadn't stressed so much about it, because actually there were massive pros to training later - the biggest being that she went straight on to the toilet from day 1 and we completely skipped all the grim potty emptying/cleaning stage. She also cracked it incredibly quickly - we've had a handful of accidents, ever.
All that said, she is still in a pull-up overnight - she'll be 4 in August. But I've learnt from before and I'm not stressing this time - will wait and see if she goes dry naturally and if not, we'll give it a go when I think she's ready. Am staying much more relaxed about it all now! They all get there sooner or later (SN aside) - don't get drawn into the 'mummy competition' (blegh) and you'll feel a lot better!

GrandmaJosephine · 05/06/2016 20:49

You may have to try an element of forcing. We had issues with ds and his poos. Just would not do them in the loo or potty until he was getting on for 4. Would wait until his night nappy went on and do it then. Not constipated etc.

We started withholding his night nappy until the second he went to bed and once he had done 1 poo in the loo and bought the promised reward, that was it, no problem.

Also did the same with his night nappies. Just didn't want to give them up until almost 6 wine he was 99% of time dry. Just told him enough nappies and he's absolutely fine now.

Maybe we're cruel but some children need a push. DC2 completely different eager to potty train!

Sgoinneal · 05/06/2016 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NeedACleverNN · 05/06/2016 20:53

I don't feel comfortable forcing her to do it.

I believe it will make things worse such as with helping and actually point black refusing to sit on the potty full stop.

OP posts:
stillenacht1 · 05/06/2016 20:54

Yup mine is nearly 13... He has severe asd thoughSmile

NeedACleverNN · 05/06/2016 20:54

Oh Dd is as far as I am aware NT. Just very stubborn

OP posts:
Fairuza · 05/06/2016 20:58

It can be hard waiting till kids are older as they have got used to going in a nappy and it becomes much more emotionally fraught.

She's almost certainly physically capable at her age, I would just get rid of nappies entirely and give lots of encouragement and praise.

Wishfulmakeupping · 05/06/2016 20:59

This was me with my dd a few weeks ago op- we were trying with pulls for a while etc but in the end one day put her in pant and had a potty on hand she had a couple of accidents didnt like feeling wet and since then she's been dry. I'd been trying to encourage her to use the toilet and potty for months before this but in the feeling uncomfortable a couple of times was enough to get dd used to knowing when to go.

NeedACleverNN · 05/06/2016 21:00

I do know one thing that is putting me off. I have a 15 month old crawler.
Accidents will happen I get that but it's just trying to clean one up before he gets it

OP posts:
stillenacht1 · 05/06/2016 21:00

Am utterly sick of shitty nappies and mix that with puberty it ain't fun! Still am v happy that in the last year he finally wees on the toiletSmile

Fairuza · 05/06/2016 21:02

Delaying potty training doesn't mean no accidents unfortunately!

bigkidsdidit · 05/06/2016 21:02

To me, 'wait for them to be ready' doesn't mean 'wait till they do it themselves' - you still have to teach them it and there will be accidents and she might get stubborn and fight it. Ready doesn't mean no problems whatsoever.

Jimjamjoos · 05/06/2016 21:02

I would push it too and present it as the new normal. They really don't want to give their nappies up. You have to show them that this is how it's going to be. Lots of changes of clothes when you go out. Peer pressure helps too.

SaveSomeSpendSome · 05/06/2016 21:03

Dont worry!!!!

Im a trained nursery nurse. I havent done the job for 10 years though.

I have dd who is 3.7 years. I thought she would never get it!!

She was 3.3 years when i tried for the last time and succeeded!

I tried her 3 times when she was 2 and lasted no more than 24 hours at a time as it was just horrendous. She would scream on the potty or toilet and i literally had to hold her down to make her sit on it. That was not toilet training in my opinion and i gave up very quickly. There is a big stigma out there about having a child in nappies at 3 and i really felt it.

Then when she was 3.3 years i bought this sticker chart...
www.amazon.co.uk/Ultimate-Potty-Training-Reward-Chart/dp/B00BEXB28Q/ref=sr_1_2_a_it?ie=UTF8&qid=1465156770&sr=8-2&keywords=toilet+training+reward+chart

It worked a treat! I ditched the potty and didnt even bother trying her on it, i bought a bjorn toilet seat and step as the toilet seat is adjustable so it secures very tightly to the toilet seat and the step has a rubber grip on the bottom so it doesnt move when the child steps on it so they feel secure then going to the toilet if nothing moves making them feel unsafe!

Anyway it took 2 days and she then had an accident once a day for a week and then she was dry at night exactly 2 weeks from starting toilet training.

This was in January and we have had 2 accidents since then.

Stardust160 · 05/06/2016 21:13

I have finally cracked potty training my DD who's 3in August. It took two weeks but I didn't buy any nappies whatsoever none in the house and if she wee'ed I changed her knickers. It wasn't pleasant we many accidents but we got there. I just got to teach her to wipe her bum and go through the night and we are done. I was worried aswell op especially with her starting nursery in September. You will get there. I think it's one of the hardest stages to go through.

Sierra259 · 05/06/2016 21:14

My eldest was 3.3 when we decided we decided we were going to really go for it. They hadn't shown any signs of being ready before that and we didn't want to force it with DC2 arriving. The first 2 days (we went straight to pants) were not good but then things rapidly improved. It took about 5-6 weeks to be completely accident free for wees and poos, but we weren't having accidents daily. Still wearing a pull up at night as it's still pretty wet in the mornings.

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