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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

How to get DD to potty train if she refuses to sit on the potty?

20 replies

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 12:21

She's 3.1 & reasonably intelligent, no communication issues. As far as we can tell, she knows what we want her to do. We've been trying (gently) to get her to train since a while before 2. We introduced the potty around 1st birthday as she's a bit odd with new things - shoes, coats etc. She's big/tall so we have now got this potty chair which is taller and more stable. She's in 6+ disposable nappies so we need to get her trained before she has another growth spurt & they get horribly pricey.

If we ask her if she needs a wee, she looks upset. If we try to put her on the potty, she screams & cries. We've tried bribes to sit, pretty pants, Pirate Pete (which she loves). What do you do when they just refuse to engage?

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Threesoundslikealot · 23/05/2015 12:24

Have you tried putting her on the loo, with a child seat insert or even without? My daughter never really wanted to use potties (also pretty tall) but was happy to sit on the loo, so we 'potty' trained her that way.

Original poster

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 12:26

Yes. It wasn't good.

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Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 12:29

Have you tried the toilet ? Ime mine hated the potty i just stopped putting nappies on them in the house and took them to the toilet every few hours it took me 2 weeks with 1 and 4 with the other. I had to put a night nappy on 1 dd as she would hold in her poo im not a believer in they will do it when they are ready i think we need to help them. Ask her why she is crying and making a fuss ?

3littlefrogs · 23/05/2015 12:29

When the weather gets warmer let her play outside with nothing on her bottom half. Have a potty outside and she may well get the idea of using it.
Inviting a potty trained child to play can be a big help.

Does she have any problems with constipation or soiling?

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 12:32

Oh you have have ypu let her wet herself ? I would let her and then say 3yr old girls use the toilet not nappies and then tell her to change her pants if she has had an accident dont tell her she is naughty or anything be matter of fact about it

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 12:35

Btw i found potty training difficult mine were trained quite late for 90s children i was lazy apparently i waitedtill they were 2.5 roughly before attempting it ,

RolyPolierThanThou · 23/05/2015 12:36

Watching with interest. My ds is the same.

Hes potty trained insofar as he can hold his wee and can let go to wee when he's on the potty. He's even taken himself to wee or poo a few times but mostly he needs to be told and is often point blank refusing. Even though he does want a wee.

lordsandladies · 23/05/2015 12:42

We have one of these and a step. Makes the DDs feel secure and they can drop it themselves rather than being on a wobbly perch on seat or a big toilet seat.

Also bribery. Chocolate button/cake whatever every time they go.

Finally if they have an older friend /cousin whatever. Let yhem encourage her. My DD2 (3 next month) was potty trained last week by her 7yo cousin

Original poster

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 12:52

This is our 2nd attempt at getting her to train. First attempt was Easter, 4.5 days of her withholding on the potty only to get up & wee a flood on the carpet. We gave up as she was horribly stressed & she tends to work herself up to the point of vomiting when she has a major tantrum, & will cry for hours, it was pointless.

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MewlingQuim · 23/05/2015 12:54

I had a lot of trouble getting DD to stay for more than a second on the potty at first. She wouldn't sit long enough for anything to happen then she would get up a pee/poo herself 2 minutes later

I started using a timer and rewarded her with a sticker for sitting on the potty or toilet, regardless of whether she actually did a wee or poo while she was there. We started with 1 minute for the first week then increased by another minute and so on. We only had a digital timer, I thought a sand timer would have been better for her as she could have seen it 'counting down', but maybe your DC can read numbers already? Once she was happy sitting on the potty or toilet for a while it was much easier.

Good luck.

Original poster

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 12:57

Can't let her play outside with nothing on bottom half - our yard is unenclosed & overlooked & there's a distinctly unfriendly dog in one of the neighbouring houses.

Nursery are on side though - they have confirmed they will help when she goes back after bank holiday. We are pushing on with it this time. DD is going to have to get it.

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Emochild · 23/05/2015 13:03

I was brutal

Told dd there were no more nappies in the day time because she was a big girl now so she either had wet pants or used the toilet -3 days and she was dry

Original poster

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 13:04

Good idea - DD can read numbers. Or we could get her counting & then get a reward for every so many seconds she stays on the potty.

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Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 15:04

It sounds really stressful and upsetting for all of you i would just get rid of the potty let her see you bin it and hopefully nursery can support you there is no point in her getting upset or you.

Mrsjayy · 23/05/2015 15:05

And i would get rid of the nappies

PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom · 23/05/2015 15:08

DD2 was like this. I didn't try and get her to sit on the potty at all. No way would she go and sit just because I wanted her to, or to earn a reward.

I read something which said that some children need to see an upside to what they are doing. Not an offered bribe. Not a chart. Just a positive.

So I got a bag of (wrapped) sweets and put them on a high shelf in the bathroom. She clocked them immediately and asked what they were. I said "oh, those are potty sweets. You get one if you do a wee or a poo in the potty or toilet". Nothing more. No suggestions to her. Handed one to her sister when she went to the loo a couple of times.

Within two days she was asking to be taken when she needed to go and was fairly reliably dry (we've had some longer term issues with poo, but I don't think that's related).

Original poster

TelephoneIgnoringMachine · 23/05/2015 15:09

Well she's just sat on the potty with no nappy for about 10 mins, no tears. No wee either but it's a big improvement so she got a big cheer & a chocolate star. Big toothbrushing session tonight, I think...

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DrHarleenFrancesQuinzel · 23/05/2015 15:29

My DD2 refuses too. She will not sit on potty or wee.

Ive asked her about what she will do when she's a grown up and she says wear nappies. She really wont and it has become a thing that she hates. Im worried about scaring her.

She's 3 and half.

We've given up (again) for now.

Im liking the sweet idea. Everyone gets one when they do something on the toilet inc. adults. DD2 will hopefully feel like she's missing out so start to go.

lordsandladies · 23/05/2015 15:58

Yey! Bribery and corruption are the way to parent

RolyPolierThanThou · 23/05/2015 18:26

Well choc buttons don't work for ds. We tried upping the amount to as many as four but he ends up not eating them. He does like choc buttons and gets excited at the prospect of getting one but it doesn't motivate him to sit on the potty next time.

And we do let him wet his pants but he doesn't see to be bothered.

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