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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

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Original poster

2.8 and still not trained

19 replies

killthewiseone · 12/03/2015 08:33

What's the best way to approach potty training a toddler who says she still wants to be in nappies?

I first introduced her to the potty at 22 months. It was quite casual, I explained what it was for and she had fun putting her teddies on it and pretending they were using it. No interest other than that. A few months later she asked to go wee in it, I made it available but she never really needed it when she was sitting on it.
About a month ago she had a poo in there, she said she'd needed a poo and I suggested going in the potty - it was the first time of sitting on it that she'd really used it. She was very pleased and proud of herself, I let her tell her dad, nana, and auntie and they were all pleased and proud too. But since then if I ask her if she wants to use the potty she'll say no and beadamant that she wants to keep going in her nappy. At the same time she really hates nappy.changes and quite often screams and tries to stop me (I've even been told off for taking her poo away!) She keeps getting shoe though and I'd quite like to move on.

What's the best way to proceed? She's quite determined so if I tried pushing it too much she'd become even more resistant and I reckon may delay it even more. I don't want to resort to bribery either as her eating can be bad anyway and her poos become awful!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

NYE2015 · 12/03/2015 09:25

I used chocolate buttons as a bribe, one button for one (successfully place in the potty) wee, two buttons for a poo. I decided that isn't going to ruin the diet.

Depending on your child, it can be helpful to assign 'rules' for things, in a positive way. For example, I started saying that wee's belong in the toilet and that when DC is grown up enough, she can be like the grown ups and put the wee where it belongs, rather than have to use a nappy.

But I'd also say my nursery advised us not to even bother until they're 3 years old. If they're not interested, is leave it and come back to it again in a few weeks. You're completely right not to push it, as it always backfires.

PenelopeChipShop · 16/03/2015 17:06

No advice but I'm at a very similar stage with my 2.8yr old boy. I'm sure he understands the concept but just says no, he doesn't want to go in the potty and won't do it, so I haven't pushed it. He is extremely strong willed so I don't want him to think I particularly care about it or it'll turn into a fight that I won't win...

Actually one thing you could try is to show your Dd the poo in the nappy super quickly before you chuck it - I read that somewhere and it made sense to me as if you think about it they don't even catch sight of their poo until potty training otherwise and a lot of them get this sense of 'losing' something important... So I just really quickly open it from a distance and say very breezily, 'there's the poo, we don't need it, let's throw it away!' That sounds mad written down but I think it was Gina Ford's book that advised it.

buildmeabuttercup · 23/03/2015 20:36

She sounds like my 2.8 year old. Done two wees on the potty but says she wants a nappy on and wont go on it now. Have you got anywhere yet?

WhatismyLife · 23/03/2015 20:42

I didn't even start until my DD was 3. Well it was a week before her 3rd birthday because she starting nursery.

It's probably not what you want to hear but I would just keep her in nappies for a bit longer and start again in a few months. Those few months will really make a difference.

buildmeabuttercup · 24/03/2015 07:26

I just feel a bit under pressure from nursery because they say she is ready, that she is happy to go sit on the potty there even if she doesn't do anything etc. Also out of the group of children that she plays with regularly she is the only one who isn't trained so it makes me feel a bit of a failure

marshmallowpies · 24/03/2015 07:38

See if you can do some nappy free time at home - we did this on a day when we were at home all day, lots of accidents but DD (2 & 10 months) by the end of the day was beginning to realise when she needed to go and recognise the signs,

Also we abandoned the potty, she wouldn't go near it, and bought a toilet training seat for the loo. She can get herself up there with a step.

cupcakesandapples · 24/03/2015 07:45

We did bare bottomed around the house for about a month and then bought some knickers of dds choice.

She prefers the real toilet to the potty tho. She did briefly go backover but i told her that babies wore nappies (and shes always adamant shes a big girl)

MrsPeabody · 24/03/2015 07:51

We went straight to toilet.

Lots of nappy free time in house and garden.

If there was a pee accident we just said oh, oh, where should that pee pee have gone. Very quick and light hearted about pee pee not being where it was supposed to. Tons of praise and a smartie for going to the toilet.

Open door toilet policy to normalise it.

If it take more than a few days, I think it's worth leaving a few weeks and then trying again.

I know it's hard, but try not to feel pressured by nursery. A firm we will do it when we are ready.

Dc was ready about a month before I was ready to tackle it!

MrsPeabody · 24/03/2015 07:52

Cupcakes, you have reminded me that character pants were a great incentive.

buildmeabuttercup · 24/03/2015 09:25

Shes had bare time round the house went both times. Put knickers on and she wet them and didnt even tell me.

I only have one upstairs toilet so it might be a PITA, especially as shes very careful slow going upstairs.

Going to spend a few days at home in the easter holiday going cold turkey no nappies.

MadameJosephine · 24/03/2015 09:29

I haven't even started yet and DD is 28 months. Apparently (according to my mum) traditionally it was done the summer after they turn 2, I guess the weather is more suited to running around with no bottoms on and getting washing dry so we are going to give it a go in the summer.

Thurlow · 24/03/2015 11:54

We didn't start until DD was gone 3, so there isn't a rush if you don't feel she's entirely ready.

We were going to go for a slower approach like other people said, nappy free time at home and then pull-ups when out but after a few days she did seem to get it so we persevered. I have to say one benefit of her being a bit older was the language skills, and so we were able to explain (and her understand) the difference between pull-ups and pants.

Also, we didn't really talk much about it beforehand. We just took her nappy off one day and told her what the potty was for. The first day she just peed everywhere but just getting one pee on the potty and a huge fuss and some chocolate seemed to make it click and she started to try and get there herself.

But really, don't feel pressurised to do it if you don't think it will work. They will learn someday, just some kids are later than others.

leccybill · 24/03/2015 21:17

We started when dd was 2.7 and she wasn't reliably dry until well into her first term of reception at school. It was all very stressful, the endless chats about 'being a big girl now' and the many wet accidents every day.
With hindsight, I wouldn't have got so hung up on comparing her to other kids and I'd have left her in pull ups for a lot longer. They are ready when they are ready, and not before.

MaximumVolume · 29/03/2015 12:34

DS is 3 in July. We've taken a very soft approach, potty in the house since last summer and he has pooed and weed on it on and off ever since. We haven't pushed removing nappies due to a family bereavement late last year and then a new arrival 6 weeks ago. We were thinking we'dpossibly try to crack it over Easter.

Anyway on Friday lunchtime he decided he wasn't wearing nappies any more. So far he has shown no awareness that he needs to go to the loo and we've had both wee and poo everywhere. After accidents we'veputhim on the potty & he has done both wee & poo reasonably happily.

If we remind him in between accidents he gets really annoyed and refuses to sit on it. Does this sound normal for first few days or like we need to wait?

ConcreteElephant · 29/03/2015 12:43

DD trained at just turned 2 - her choice, not mine - I had a newborn and a potty training toddler!

DS was 3 in January and wasn't ready till then. I waited till half-term just gone and we were sorted by the end of the week. We went straight to toilet rather than potty as he's too tall to sit quite comfortably on a potty. Pirate pants helped...but mainly it was down to him being ready.

I think if it's becoming a battleground at the moment I'd back right away from the idea for a while - in case it becomes a 'thing'. She's still very little for potty training really and it won't hurt to wait a little longer.

MaximumVolume · 29/03/2015 17:53

We've had some success this afternoon. He went to a soft play party so we put a nappy on him, but afterwards when I took it off he sat on the potty and did a wee and a poo. We made a big fuss of him and he seemed jolly pleased with himself!

We do have a problem with our various potties (so I don't think it is one that is poorly designed) that when he sits down his penis gets wedged against the splash guard and ends up pointing over the edge unless we are vigilant in supervision!

Is there a a technique he can use to prevent this? It isn't very independence forming for him to have to ask us to "put my willy down" every time!

helloeveryone · 02/04/2015 15:50

I have the same problem. My daughter who is 3 years old tomorrow just isn't interested in sitting on the potty. My two sons were both potty trained before they were 3 (in the day - nappy still at night for a bit longer though) but my daughter is much more head strong. I think I will try again after the Easter holidays.

Good luck everyone x

Lweji · 02/04/2015 15:56

When DS was ready he dropped his nappies overnight at the grand age of 3 years and 3 months.
Take it easy.

By then he was able to pee in the toilet before bed and his night nappies had been dry for about a week.

We tried it at about 34 months and he completely resisted it.

Shelleth182 · 22/03/2021 01:02

I know this is an old thread but I'm the exact same situation with my 2.8yr old daughter lol wondering what happened in the end with yours? 😄

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