a full year ive been potty training!!

[sanchia85]

hi ive got a son who turns 4 on saturday and we started potty training last easter. he started off fine did really well but after he returned to nursery he got so upset if he needed to poo and its got no better as time has passed now hes on movicol to try stop him from holding it in but he still does yet there have been times recently where he has taken himself to the toilet and done his business with no prompting but still also frequently wets himself. feel like ive done something wrong and the frustration is making me feel like a failure. he will quite happily sit in dirty pants/nappy and hates having his bum changed, always has for some reason

My son is 5 and still in Nappies. He is under the continence nurse, doing timed drinking and toilet visits and we are in the process of getting free nappies from the NHS.

How supportive has his school been?

his new nursery have been ok said to let him soil himself instead of nappies but that wont make a difference to him he'll happily sit in it all day. he also has quite a strong smell which lingers in the room for ages. how did you get to see a continence nurse and what does it involve? thanks for your reply x

I asked to see the school nurse and she put things into motion.

sanchia85, please take heart in the fact that it could be worse, I have been at this for so long now (we are technically in our 3rd year or training).
I understand all of the frustrations and annoyance that come with this process and it is ridiculous to be honest. My boy is also quite happy to sit in whatever he has done without a care in the world and tells me he hasn't done anything until the moment I look in his pants. Even after all this time I am still vexed on a daily basis by it and I'm not sure how to get past it. Of course you should go and get the situation checked with your GP or continence nurse to ensure there are no underlying issues but at the end of the day it is something that the little... cherubs have to want to do. I don't think there is any way to force them without damage to their spirit or mental health - having said that, my spirit and mental health were broken rather quickly into this process but this is not about me and / or the tic I have developed. Keep plugging away.

If he is getting constipated the pressure of the poo build up can cause wee accidents as well.

I will leave the constipation advice there because there are people way more knowledgeable than me on here!

But - my DD took 2.5 years to completely train. She was still having accidents when she started school, however it was a huge turning point for her and by the time she was 5 I felt able to stop constantly taking around spare clothes!

Key things for my DD we're that the more stressed she was the more accidents she had. This is still true now. Try really, really hard to keep things calm. Whatever works for you in this context. One of my keeping calm things was getting them to clear up by themselves as much as possible. Like if it was just a wee accident, stay where you are and send them to the bathroom by themselves where they out their own wet clothes in the bath/shower and then get their own clean clothes and put them on themselves.