Getting desperate. Do I carry on or are we making things worse?

[CoffeeTwo]

DS has just turned 3. We've been potty training for the last couple of months after a failed attempt last summer. DS is a clever little lad, he understands the concept, he can communicate very well and he'll happily talk through the process and read the books.

But he just won't wee/poo on the potty.

He'll do it if we've timed it right and sat him down just as he was about to do it anyway. But mostly he just wets himself. I've tried exciting underpants, naked, pull ups and a mixture of the lot. We've tried the toilet and different types of potty. He just wees where he's stood. We've tried praise, rewards and stern words. And still he wees in his pants.

Tonight I had him on and off the potty every 15 minutes. We did this for about 3 hours. Then he got up, went and sat on his chair and weed everywhere. He then pooed in the bath. He gets upset when he does it and we tell him it's ok and we'll try again but I've been in tears over it myself. I don't get why he doesn't get it. I don't know what else I can do.

I'm worried that if we carry on like this he's going to end up with issues. But I'm also worried that if I put him back in nappies he'll remember that I've done so and when we try again in a few months I'll be back to square one and I don't think I can face doing this all over again.

I really don't know what to do for the best and would appreciate some wise words of experience please.

Has he ever successfully said 'i need a wee' at an appropriate time? If not, it sounds like there's a physical problem ie he just isn't able to control it yet so no amount of training will work.

I'd try waiting another couple of months then try again.

Hey, my LO just turned 3 in january and we are also potty training. It has been difficult but like your LO mine understands too. We have had good days were he will leak slightly as we rush him over to the potty and he does the rest in the potty. Other times he will just look down and say "mummy i'm weeing" i still rush him over to his potty and praise any thats gone in, he seems to like that. We use stickers and wee wee sweeties for him.

I found that if i asked my LO or tried putting him on the potty regularly he would always say no and get off immediately, even though i know he needed it. I just let him tell me, and if he does it on the floor, i just remind him that we need to keep pants dry and it needs to go in the potty.

It is a very frustrating time and trying not to show it is HARD..Hugs!

Thank you both.

Fusion he has said that a few times but not consistently. I think you might be right about the control thing. I'm starting to think he doesn't know he needs a wee until he's weeing.

louise we're going to try that, just letting him tell us. He always always says no when we ask if he needs the potty so we're going to leave it and wait for him to get the hang of the feeling.

We're going to keep him in pull ups and keep reading him the potty books etc but take a step back. I'm really conscious of not making this distressing for him (and me!)