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Advice about withholding please

HotMommy · 27/01/2015 08:36

We potty trained my 2.5 year old dd over Christmas and she has done very well - very few accidents and using the toilet really well for both pees and poos. We had tried a few months earlier and it was a disasters, she would 'hold it" as long as possible (several hours) and then become very upset about it until she physically couldn't hold it anymore. After 2 days of this I gave up because it was obviously not the right time. She has been doing so great this time and I thought she really had it figured out, but in the last week there have been some worrying developments:

  • she suddenly doesn't want to go on any toilet outside of the home (previously she was fine with this). She becomes quite upset and refuses, and then just holds it until we get home.
  • she won't pee in her pull up at night. She either cries for us to take her to the toilet or just wakes up completely dry. People keep telling me this is great but I worry she is too young to be going through the night. She still has milk at night too.
  • yesterday she went on a field trip with nursery and they put a nappy on her (I didn't realise they were going to do that). The result was that she held it the whole day rather than pee in her nappy. Apparently she had an absolute meltdown when they took it off later and refused to pee at all, though she clearly needed to. She then held it, as far as I can tell, until she woke up this morning. So she went nearly 24 hours without doing a pee.
  • yesterday when I got her from nursery they told me there had been a very small pink spot in her knickers which they thought might be blood. I haven't seen it since but have sent her to the doctor with her dad this am as I worry she has developed a UTI from all of the holding.

    She is a lovely child but quite sensitive and defiant - you can't make her do anything (gets it from her mama...).

    Can anyone give me advice about how to discourage this withholding? She is pretty clever and understands when I talk to her about it, but still refuses. I worry she us developing a very unhealthy behaviour.

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Fresh01 · 27/01/2015 20:11

Can you make it a habit? We had to do this when DS initially did his poo in his pants. He had to go every day after lunch and sit there for an episode of fireman Sam!

So she goes first thing in morn, go to toilet. Before leaving house, before lunch, before dinner, before bed etc.

Can you get a special training seat that goes on toilet for her to use at home and take to nursery till she gets her confidence?

Can you bribe her to sit on the toilet for the length of a book/episode of Mr tumble etc on phone or iPad, to see if anything happens.

What happens if you say you will race her to the toilet/who can go first - my just turned 3 year old loves this one and always falls for it!

Having a 7 year old bed wetter they are dry at night when they are dry generally. Not much you can do about that. I know 2 year olds dry at night.
Holding for so long isn't good. Hope you find a solution.

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MigGril · 28/01/2015 14:16

You can get portable potties which double up as portable toilet seat's maybe she would be more comfortable using one of these when out and about. We had one to start with until my oldest was happy with outside toilets. Also great to have in the car for emergencies.

Don't worry about the dry at night thing they are dry at night when they are ready. The holding is another issue. I would be asking nursery not to put her in a nappy at all. They shouldn't need to they can either take a potty or take her to the toilet, if they haven't got enough staff to do that then may be they shouldn't be going on the field trip that day.

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