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Potty training, public transport and activities.
13

SocialFool · 21/10/2014 08:30

What do you do? Am I missing a trick?
Started potty training Dd last week - suggested she gave her nappies to a friend's newborn and use the potty/toilet instead. This has worked and she doesn't want to wear nappies any more. BUT she's not really making it to the toilet/potty in time. She says "mummy poo" then immediately does a wee, like with half a seconds notice.

We are out every day, have to use the bus to get around. She accepted a pull up at the weekend (because DH gets really angry if there is wee anywhere) when we went out in the car and they are her "car pants". Yesterday I met a friend in town and she was horrified that my DD was out and about in pants when she is not reliable. On the bus I kept her in the buggy in case she had an accident (she didn't) but of course she screamed the whole way as she wanted to sit on a seat.

What about activities like gym? Obviously I can't risk her doing something on the equipment, but will it be too confusing for her to put her in pull ups whenever we go out and pants only at home?

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rootypig · 21/10/2014 08:34

How old is she?

In general the answer is Potette plus, genius contraption, for out and about, no activities where it's a hygiene issue until she's dry.

But if she gives you half a second's warning, you might just have to spend a week or three at home until she gets the hang of it.

Also can you say more about your DH getting angry if there is wee anywhere?

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Spookgremlin · 21/10/2014 08:56

Personally, I kept mine at home or close by, the odd short trip in car for a week or two until I knew he could reliably go a couple of hours between wees and had done a poo recently. I made sure I wasn't too far from a loo at the destination, straight there on arrival and on leaving home. I didn't risk a bus for a good few weeks until I was able to get him to do a wee before leaving the house.

6-7 weeks in and he has been dry day and night for about 5 weeks, with the odd accident and still needs reminding sometimes, but we go about daily life as normal.

I would say if they've not largely cracked it, ie able to go a little while in between wees then they may not be ready. I tried with ds a couple of times before he was really ready, there were a lot more accidents. It went much more smoothly 3rd time round, got it in two weeks with not as many accidents.

Have you tried training pants? Someone recommended them to me on here, not as nappy-like as pull ups, basically pants with a bit of extra towelling, catches best part of an accident until you can get them changed.

The thing that worries me in your OP is that your DH gets 'really angry if there is wee anywhere'. Erm, he needs to get over that. Potty training often involves quite a few mishaps, they are just learning after all, and 'anger' is really not the most helpful response, it is likely to cause you issues, not to mention distressing for your daughter if she really can't help it yet. She needs to be really relaxed to concentrate on learning a new skill, and everyone who is helping her needs to be consistent and calm, or you will get more setbacks.

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Spookgremlin · 21/10/2014 09:01

I know I said 'dry day and night' but the night time thing is really separate from day time dryness, and you can't train it, my ds was a little on the older end of potty training and just happened to do both at the same time.

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weyayechickenpie · 21/10/2014 09:17

Well first it was pants off in the house and we kept a potty in nearly every room. Told the family we were potty training and bought a potty to stay at there house. Try and find some books on potty training for dd or a doll that wees and a potty? My dd liked that. There will be accidents! Your dh getting angry will make it worse and make her feel like shes done something wrong. If she has accidents dont make a fuss just cleanup and forget. Take a potty with you under the pushchair. I have no shame and have whipped that thing out everywhere. People are more understanding than you think. Sounds strange but does you dd have a warning sign before she needs to go? My dd kind of glazes over or holds her legs together or just tells me. Plan your day around toilets! if your not taking the potty I tend to ask a million times if dd needs the toilet and take her frequency. If your having troubles ask your health visitor for support. It will just fall into place one day if your dd is constantly having accidents put her in pull ups untils shes ready. Good luck Grin

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weyayechickenpie · 21/10/2014 09:18

Frequently Smile

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SocialFool · 21/10/2014 11:36

We do have "car pants" (pull ups) which she wore at the weekend and she agreed to wear them to gym. We can't not go out for a week or three. DS has a club on Mondays, she has gym/swimming/music Tuesdays and Wednesdays, Thursday and Friday she has lay groups, DS has sport. We need food, so I have to take the bus to the shop.

I'm using a sticker chart, she gets a sticker if she keeps her pants dry and wees on the toilet. She's just got her first reward so I hope this will be an incentive!

I do have a pottette, have got it out in the playground, but not sure I'd have the guts to use it at the bus stop!

I am quite worried about DH putting her off, I'm sure it was one of the reasons DS took so long. I'm trying to protect her from it as much as possible, I do keep asking if she need the toilet. Today has been a bit better :) tomorrow will be a challenge with MIL here all day. Three guesses where DH gets it from...

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Spookgremlin · 21/10/2014 12:04

Ultimately you have to do what works for you and your lifestyle, just don't worry too much about her having the odd accident. If it takes pull ups for a while until she's got the hang of it then I don't think it matters too much.

They do get there by hook or by crook Halloween Smile

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SocialFool · 21/10/2014 19:12

If she does I just change her and say to her "please go to the toilet or potty next time." Apart from the one time I asked her, she said she didn't need to go then not two minutes later pooed in her pants Angry then I told her off and made her wait and watch whilst I cleaned it up before I showered her down.

I don't understand how/why people say to stay at home for a week or two. Do you not get cabin fever? My two go crazy, DS especially and starts getting violent/destroying things if he doesn't go outside. Or do you all live in palaces with acres to run around in and count that as not going out?

I'm used to planning around toilets because of DS, he was out of nappies earlier than he was ready to because he was too big to change out and about.

Thanks for the advice!

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rootypig · 21/10/2014 21:25

I don't understand how/why people say to stay at home for a week or two. Do you not get cabin fever?

But OP you are here posting because you have realised the problem of going out Confused

Look, just go places an accident matters less. A wee or poo in the park (or whipping out the potette) is very different from a wee or poo in the middle of gym class. If you've paid a lot for all her classes and don't want to miss them, potty train her at the end of term.

I do think chicken is right too, just whip the potty out anywhere. Bus stop if need be.

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Spookgremlin · 21/10/2014 21:38

I gave it a few days at home just to take the pressure off, see what stage he was at and get a rough idea of how long he could go between wees. I didn't want to increase his anxiety about trying something new by making him do it out and about. Then for the rest of the first week we went to local swings, trip to supermarket etc. After that he was fine for longer trips out with the potty coming along too, though we still always aimed to make it to the toilets.

Most people usually plan it around a time when they can give it their full attention and don't have so much on, then you're less likely to get stressed and make Angry faces at a poor little kid who doesn't have the hang of it yet.

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Coughle · 21/10/2014 21:41

Sounds like she is not ready for potty training. But your H sounds like the real problem.

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crochetcircle · 21/10/2014 22:14

No-one told me potty training could take months. Our dd started age 2.6 and she still has accidents now at 3.4. She really struggled with wees and poos for 6 months. Bizarrely she was dry at night from day 1 of potty training, it was just daytimes that were a nightmare. Lots of wiping up and changes of clothes and carrying potties everywhere. And sticker charts.

I'm only mentioning this because I wish someone had told me it might take this long for her to get it.

So, no, I don't this you are missing a trick. Some children take much longer.

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ThoughtsPlease · 24/10/2014 22:35

My DS is 2yrs 5months, I started potty training him not long after he was 2. I have 2 older girls so I was doing the school run and after school activities while potty training, so to start with I used to put a pull up over his pants when we went out, so any accidents were contained but obviously he still had wet pants so he knew what had happened. I could just change the pants, wipe his bottom and carry on without too much fuss.

Could this work do you think?

I still put a pull up over his pants when has a nap in bed some days just in case. I can't remember exactly when he last wet his pants at nap time so it isn't hindering him in any way.

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