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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Can, but won't

5 replies

sarahbanshee · 07/09/2014 08:43

My daughter will be 3 in December and I'm a bit at a loss with potty training. My son got the hang at a similar age and it was fairly straightforwardly about connecting the physical feelings with his brain, but she's a different matter.

She won't, rather than can't, do it. She will go without a nappy at home and hold her wee for ages; she's prepared to sit on the potty but only for a second and she just won't let go of the wee when she does. She will tell us she needs a wee, ask for a nappy to do it in, and tell us she's weeing if she has a nappy on. She knows she gets a smartie if she does a wee on the potty or the toilet and she tells you that with excitement in the abstract but then when she's desperate for a wee she wants a nappy and won't be persuaded to sit on the potty for a smartie.

We have different potties and different trainer seats for the toilet and she seems unimpressed by any of them.

She chose big girl pants and knows she can wear them if she sits on the potty or loo but again , won't actually do it.

What should we do? Any suggestions welcome. I don't want to make a bigger thing of it as it's obviously a mental block and something about weeing outside a nappy she doesn't like but I don't know how to progress. Or leave it? Her friends are starting to notice she isn't wearing pants like them and she tells me sometimes they say she's a baby, all sad Hmm

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Figster · 07/09/2014 08:50

It will happen my ds is 3 in December too and we at stage where we have no accidents in house but try out clothes on him he runs away he won't consider wearing his pants either.

How old are her "friends" none of ds little chums at 2.9 that are out of nappies realise the difference between him wearing nappies and them pants are they older?

sarahbanshee · 08/09/2014 07:53

Thanks Figster - maybe it will come, I'm just wondering whether in the meantime I leave it or keep trying. Since it's not a physical capability issue but an issue of will - and I don't want to get into a battle of wills, I know we all lose that way!

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ItsNotEasyBeingGreen · 08/09/2014 07:59

My DS was a can but won't too. He would rather hold it in than go on the potty or toilet. He went all day once. With us it just took time. So keep persevering. I was literally saying 'do you need a wee, sit on the potty please' every 10 minutes. I'd also be a bit mean (sorry) in that he'd be watching a favourite beebies program and I would say he can only watch it if he sits on the potty, if he wouldn't it went off. They all get there eventually and consider yourself lucky you're not cleaning wee up every 10 minutes.

divingoffthebalcony · 11/09/2014 16:44

Same problem here. My DD is 3 in a few days and she has an iron will... and an iron bladder.

She's never managed to wee on the potty or toilet. Take her pull up off and she'll refuse to wee until she's in serious discomfort, at which point I'll relent and put a pull up on. Then she'll wee within five minutes. Her record is seven hours.

TessabelleDaydreamer · 12/09/2014 16:26

I am so glad it's not just my little boy! He will happily sit on the potty or run around without a nappy on but will not do a wee in the potty. He will ask for his trousers when needs to wee, so we sit him on the potty but he point blank refuses to wee! I guess it's just perseverance! He is a stubborn little sod, like his dad!

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