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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Potty training poo traumas!

9 replies

ilovechops · 01/09/2014 20:24

I know this is common but would like some advice on where to go from here..

DD is 2yrs8 months. Toilet trained fully in daytime for wees, never has an accident in 2 months. Wears a pull up at night. It took a lot of work to get her on the potty (months of failed attempts) but now sorted and incentives / stickers have stopped. Takes herself to the toilet at home and nursery.

Pooing however is not so easy. She's probably done approx 8 poos on the toilet and te same amount on a potty in the last month - 6 wks. It's been up and down and often she will hold it in and then end up getting very very upset and anxious before she needs to go. We just want her to poo and not have a complex so have allowed her to put a pull up on if she requests but that no longer works. She will
Fight it and fight it and literally scream and shout if we suggest she needs a poo. It's soooo traumatic for her. The nursery teacher told me they were concerned the other day! They asked if anything had changed, it hasn't but she is going less often (every 2-3 days now) so I think it hurts / is very big and is scaring her. We give her dates / fruit and veg lots of water to get things moving but she holds it.

Any tips? My DH I don't think is handling it so well. He does bed time routine normally and that is when she often needs to go. I think he's made it into a big deal and she is now v stressed about it so would like to know how to advise him to deal with it.

I have tried to stay very relaxed, use bribery (chocolate) but nothing else. I don't want her to have a complex and be upset big DH is stressing about it and thinks she is damaging her health!
Any advice?!

So far we have tried incentives of stickers, chocolate (which works the best) and even TV! I've also tried giving the poo a name and that helped a tiny bit but not for long, now she just screams whenever we mention it. Any advice?!

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chocolatemartini · 01/09/2014 20:46

We had similar, somehow dh managed to get DS to sit on the potty while he told him long stories and DS eventually got used to the idea. Have you tried asking her where and how she wants to poo, or making up lots of stories about poos and potties? The holding is awfully traumatic for them isn't it Sad

ilovechops · 01/09/2014 20:56

Thanks chocolate, we have done lots of a stories / distraction on the loo and potty but they no longer really work. Haven't done so many poo / toilet stories tho so could give that a go!

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RabbitSaysWoof · 01/09/2014 21:07

Someone posted this the other day I thought it was great advice re with holding

www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-hodges-md/potty-training_b_1424826.html

ilovechops · 01/09/2014 22:26

Thanks rabbit. Just read that and it's really very interesting. I am firmly of the mind set that DD will use the toilet when she is ready to but am now a bit worried how we get out of this cycle?!

She's going to nursery tomo (no poo since Sunday eve) do I perhaps offer that she wears a pull up so she doesn't have to worry?! I just want her to be ok and not constipated / stressed about it as she's quite a sensitive soul.

OP posts:
ilovechops · 01/09/2014 22:27

Ps I have tried asking her what she wants to do but she (I think) is too young to really know and formulate an answer. The whole thing just upsets her and so she changes subject/ignores it

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LBsBongers · 01/09/2014 22:43

sounds a familiar experience to me and my son, she seems to already have an issue with pooing (you may never know what or why) the fact she holds on makes the experience painful thus adding to her fear, I strongly recommend you read 'constipation, withholding and your child ' Anthony cohn, I cried when I read it as no health professional had summed up the problem so well...essentially it advises you need to medicate to take decision to poo out of their hands until this fear has passed.. have to go but good luck I feel for you v stressful

AlpacaMyBags · 02/09/2014 01:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RabbitSaysWoof · 02/09/2014 07:25

ds was constipated as a baby and lactulose was great, the chemist said its not a laxative it just keeps water in the bowels an softens any masses.

ra1ra1 · 02/09/2014 12:07

Interesting article Rabbit, love the quote
"there are more important things in life to stress over"

Easier said than done when you are in the middle of it!

One of my friends used to put a nappy in the potty for her son to use if he needed a poo, he got it sorted in his own time.

Good Luck

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