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Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Original poster

Almost 3 year old will only poo in pants

17 replies

batgirl1984 · 31/08/2014 16:32

My almost 3 year old cracked weeing in the potty then the toilet a few months back. After the first 10 days she has only had 2 wee accidents. However she refuses to poo in the potty or toilet. She will sit there for ages but refuses to do a poo even if she needs to. We have tried bribery (stickers, chocolate, even some presents). She will sit on the loo after meals. We have tried 'poo goes to pooland' and she enjoys it. Basically there is nothing that she wants as much as she wants to poo in the loo / potty. I know she is young but this is not a continence problem, her control is excellent, she will often wait till she is out of sight to do her poo. Anyone got any advice? Thank you!

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Original poster
batgirl1984 · 31/08/2014 16:34

Wants NOT to poo in the potty / toilet.
Ooops

OP posts:
Iggly · 31/08/2014 16:37

Put her potty in her favourite poo spot. No one wants to poo with an audience. My dd is much more private than my ds about pooing and gets upset if we try and stay (she's nearly 3). Ds used to hide for a poo so I'd put the potty in his hiding place and off he'd go. We also gave chocolate buttons once he's done.

Original poster
batgirl1984 · 31/08/2014 16:45

The spot is the Wendy house at the far end of the garden. Closely followed by the bushes in the park. Will stick a potty in the Wendy house and hope for some rain free days!

OP posts:
Iggly · 31/08/2014 19:32

Maybe keep her out of pants at home?

Original poster
batgirl1984 · 01/09/2014 19:45

Iggly, yes will try that on days she's not in childcare. Hopefully she will make a connection.

OP posts:
Original poster
batgirl1984 · 01/09/2014 19:46

Thank you x

OP posts:
SueDunome · 02/09/2014 18:55

I feel your pain, dd was like this - she's 11 now and no problems, so don't panic Smile

I was told it's a common problem, because they don't like the sensation of something falling out of their body. Try putting a nappy across the potty and see if she will go on that. Then gradually lower it - it worked for us.

ruthf72 · 07/09/2014 22:23

I have this problem with my 3 year old, he will wee on the toilet no drama, but will not poo on the toilet (he hated the idea of the potty so we got rid pretty quick). We've tried rewards; balloons, little toy cars etc, reward charts and explaining that good boys poo on the toilet. Nothing works; he has done it occasionally and we have rewarded him which he enjoyed but we cannot get him to do it all the time. He is not distressed by doing the poo so I don't think he is worried about the sensation.

When we ask him where should he poo he does say the toilet so we know he understands he just won't tell us and then we notice him doing a "duck walk". I'm constantly washing soiled pants and it's driving me nuts.

ladybirdandsnails · 11/09/2014 22:20

Ruth when you find a solution please share it ! Identical situation here. No idea what to try next

elizabethcharlotte · 11/09/2014 22:28

My daughter did this! It went on for ages and it really upset me. Eventually I realised that she always did a poo after breakfast. So I too her pants off, left her in a skirt and left her in the living room on her own watching tv with a potty right near her.
It worked because I had realised that she needed the poo to go somewhere. She wanted the poo to go somewhere and was happy for that place to be her pants but when they weren't there and no one was there talking about the problem she did it in her potty. We carried on like that for at least a week until she was used to using the potty. Only then did I let her wear her pants after breakfast!!

longestlurkerever · 13/09/2014 09:51

Another one here. Dd has just turned three but has started pre school this week as one of the youngest there and I am panicking as they have sai tthey can't deal with the poo accidents she still has despite being pretty much dry since Christmas. Don't know what else to try. She will occasionally poo on the toilet or potty and I feel like it's a breakthrough but it doesn't last. I don't know if it's a psychological or control issue and so I don't know how to handle it. She doesn't have a set time or place where she goes. Bit nervous to try the no pants suggestion as she has been known just to poo on the ground or bath but am getting desperate. Can't be called home from work over this. Am scared and upset

Doodledot · 13/09/2014 13:32

That harsh not dealing with an accident. Our school nursery deals with it but some times the pants do just get chucked out

AliMarr · 15/09/2014 19:36

Another one here! Glad to hear I am not alone but worried that there seems to be no end to this. My Dd potty trained after turning 3, again wees no problem but poos only in pants. This has being going on since February! Every time I put her on the toilet she seizes up. The health visitor said to ditch the potty and sit her on the kids toilet seat and blow bubbles. Apparently blowing bubbles relaxes the anal sphincter. The first 2 nights we tried this she did do a poo. However less success over the weekend and today she had dirty pants about 7 times! It mostly isn't even a proper poo, just a smear before I reach her to put her on the toilet then again she seizes up. Exasperated to say the least! Don't even want to book a holiday until it's resolved! longestlurkerever I think that is unacceptable from the nursery, surely she is not the first nor will she be the last - speak to the head teacher!

longestlurkerever · 16/09/2014 20:38

I have been reading the resources on www.eric.org.uk. Not had a chance to put them into practice but thought I would share in case anyone else found them useful. Have also booked an appointment with health visitor and may get gp to check out constipation.

longestlurkerever · 16/09/2014 20:39

Ali same here with the smears and the Eric site reckons it is a symptom of constipation and they can't help it. Dd has no other symptoms of that though so I don't know.

BrookeDavies · 16/09/2014 21:55

We've just come out the other side of this, so I feel all your pain. I really can't stress how much parents need to back off, as pushing too hard can make children withhold and then they get constipated and they lose the muscle sensation. It's a vicious circle. Getting them to poo regularly is really helpful (and if it's at home that helps with childcare issues).

Once I realised the implications of withholding, I gave DD pull ups to poo in until she got into a routine and the blockage had cleared. (With a bit of help from lots of fruit and the odd lactulose.) All the poos were put into the toilet and waved off to pooland and I always spoke very positively about pooing in a toilet.

It took the best part of a year but I let her decide when she wanted to use the toilet and it took the pressure of both of us. She did it when she was ready to.

alambert · 18/09/2014 06:20

put her potty in private place that no one can see. so the child dont become shy

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