I don't know how to potty train DS.

[MsVanRein]

DS is 2 and showing lots of signs of being ready to use potty. He will often tell me he needs pee or poo and this has come of his own accord without any promoting but is inconsistent.

He has used potty with encouragement a couple of times and has even gone by himself despite the fact we really haven't concentrated on any type of potty training at all; but I really don't know the best way to get him properly trained - I keep getting contradictory advice and unsure where to start.

Should say 'gone of his own accord without prompting.'

Hi, I can only speak from my experience of potty training my 2.7 yr old DS this week. I decided to take a week off work to really focus on it, but had been leaving the potty out/encouraging use of the potty for a couple of months beforehand. I also showed him the 'big boy pants' that I'd bought him so that he would get excited about wearing pirate pants or whatever (got mine from John Lewis - bought 3 packs of five!). I also made sure that I explained a few times to DS ahead of potty training week that we would not be having nappies any more in the day time, so that it didn't come as a shock.

The other key factor was working out a rewards system. My DS likes stickers and choc buttons so that's what I decided to do. So last Monday morning, I took off his nappy in the morning and said he would be wearing his big boy pants. However, with it being quite mild, I decided to whip them off and he was naked from the waist down (apart from socks!). This seemed to work much better as he didn't have the 'safety net' of pants if he wanted a wee. I would regularly ask him if he needed a wee, or use a motivation i.e. 'We won't go out for a walk until you've had a wee'. This worked well. He also quite enjoyed having 'nature wees' while we were out in the park, along the canal etc.. I had a friend round on day one whose little boy is potty trained and when my DS saw him weeing straight into the toilet, he said 'I want to do it like that'! So we've had wees in the potty and on the toilet ever since. Of course, we've had a few accidents, mainly after he's woken up from nap time (and usually has an erection bless him!), but I've resisted using pull-ups as I feel they send out a confusing message. He just has a normal Pampers nappy for night time (and I explained to him at bathtime that he would have a nappy for bedtime).

Poos have been a slightly different experience. My DS likes privacy when he's having a poo so he will tell me to leave the room. Trouble is, the first one he did was while we were in the garden, so it was too late to get the potty. Second one was done half in his pants (solid, thankfully!) and half in the potty. However, he has a present all wrapped up and stashed high up on a shelf where he can see it, and I've told him that when he does a poo in the potty, he will get the present.

I think he's totally got the wee thing now (we were in the middle of Toys R Us and he twice told me he needed the toilet, so I told him to hold it and we legged it to the loos) but we need to do more work on the poo side of things.

The other thing you'll need to think about is can your DS pull his own pants down? I've had to teach my DS to do that and I know some people buy the next size up in pants so that they are easier to take down.

This is do helpful thank you for your reply! I will have a re-read but just wanted to say thanks.

DS very capable with getting dressed/undressed and taking off his nappy so I think taking his pants down on his own will be fine. Having a think now about what might work as a reward!

Glad it was helpful! Re-reading this, I've realised how little it is like an action plan which is what you need when you are busy. I didn't buy any toilet training books so I just cobbled together advice I've had from friends. Here goes:

1. Start putting the potty out in advance of potty training so it just becomes part of the furniture. I have one potty for the bathroom, one for the lounge and one for upstairs. The Pourty ones off Amazon are great. Just get a white one - it's harder to see if they've weed if it's coloured! The Pourty step off Amazon is also great as it's a bit higher than the standard Ikea type steps and therefore they can reach the toilet or sink more easily.

1. Introduce the idea of potty training into your conversation e.g. 'No more nappies next week' so that it isn't a shock. It's worth also mentioning that they'll only have a nappy at nighttime so that message is clear too.

1. Let them see their peers using the potty/toilet if possible. Peer pressure really worked with my DS!

1. Buy lots of pants and flushable toilet wipes. Make sure you have plenty of jogging bottoms that are easy to pull down. Let them see their new pants so that they are excited by them. Get ones with pictures on e.g. trucks, pirates so that they are more appealing. The John Lewis ones are fab and really soft.

1. Work out your rewards system e.g. choc buttons, gold star stickers. What really motivates them? Kinder Eggs worked for me too - never bought them before but he loved the idea of a toy inside and wasn't so fussed about the choc! Also worth buying a 'special present' which you can wrap up and leave up on a shelf where they can see it. That could be a present for when they do their first poo on the potty.

1. On day one, take off their nappy and ask them to choose a pair of 'big boy pants', explaining that they won't be wearing a nappy today. Also explain that if they do all their wees and poos on the potty, then they get a reward. Check for understanding by asking them what you've just said.

1. Keep checking whether they need to have a wee or not. I found that 30 mins intervals worked and I pretty much insisted on a wee before we went out anywhere and a wee when we got back. If you think they are due a wee and they are refusing, then say 'Oh well we can't watch Topsy and Tim until you've had one'. That should shift them into action!

1. You don't need to be housebound! We certainly weren't. Take the potty out with you (they're light enough) or have nature wees if you are out walking. Just take spare pants, joggers, socks and wipes wherever you go. Be mindful of where the nearest public toilets are when you are out and get them used to 'holding a wee in' if you need to run across a supermarket to get to the toilet.

1. Accidents will happen! Try not to make a fuss even if you are disappointed or angry. Put a spare towel down on any chairs that they tend to sit on and also one for your car seat.

10. Get dad involved (if you ask me, dads should bloody teach boys toilet training anyway!). Get them to do 'double wees' together straight into the toilet. I do double wees with DS when I'm out and about. He sits on the potty in the cubicle while I wee in the toilet and we listen to each others wees! It just makes what could be a stressful situation more fun.

11. If you are anything like me, you'll be wondering how to handle a boy's willy! I ask DS to poke his willy down into the potty to prevent any leaks. When we're doing nature wees or wees into the toilet, I help him by pointing Percy at the pot. You will end up with piss on your hands so have wipes at the ready!

12. Be warned that boys have a tendency to wake up from naps with an erection!

13. I haven't bothered with pull-ups for nap times as I personally think they send out a confusing message, but lots of my friends use them.

14. Poos in the potty are a bit more tricky. Watch out for the signs e.g. sitting in a corner, straining, farting etc.. My DS says 'You can go out of the room!' so I know when one is imminent. We had a poo in the pants on day one and day three, but today (day seven) he said 'Mummy, I need a poo' and sat on the potty. It didn't actually come out but I still think that's good progress.

15. If possible, have them naked from the waist down in the early days as there is less of a 'safety net' feeling than when they are wearing pants.

I'm sure I'll have missed something out, but hope this helps for now!

oh, knew I'd forgotten something...

16. After a wee in the toilet or potty, get them to wipe themselves with a wipe or toilet paper, and then wash hands. My DS loves flushing the chain on the loo so I put the lid down on the toilet and then support him while he flushes the chain. We say 'Bye bye wee!'.

17. If you need a toilet training seat, the Baby Bjorn one is great. I got mine from Amazon. It adapts to any toilet seat so good for when you visit relatives. It is a bit pricier than other ones though.