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For those of you struggling with long term potty nightmares
24

BackToYourselfYouSillyOldElf · 18/08/2014 13:58

It's not your fault, it's nothing you did or didn't do. Sticker charts and buttons haven't worked it just take some children longer. They'll get there eventually.

Thought I'd start this thread after 2yrs+ potty training and numerous accidents with dc1 who is nearly 5 and still has some accidents and is on movicol to help stop poo holding and therefore accidents. It has been bloody draining and miserable for us all.

Dc2 has potty trained recently in a day and a half at 2.5yo. It's like a bloody miracle. It's just shown me that it really wasn't my incompetent potty training style.

OP's posts:
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MamOfTwo · 20/08/2014 21:48

Thank you for this! Although I actually have it the other way round - DD1 trained very easily and currently trying (and failing) to train DD2. But your post reminded me that I am not doing anything 'wrong' this time - I guess it is just going to take her longer. Sigh. 2 plus years, though? Eek, hope she gets it before then! Glad your DC2 got it quickly. May your days be accident-free from here on in!

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HSMMaCM · 20/08/2014 21:50

I agree. I have helped train dozens of children and they are all different.

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northyorksbelle · 20/08/2014 22:53

Dozens of children you say HSMMaCM? Are you available for hire? I would prefer a home visit but that's not possible then I suppose some distance learning approach might be do-able. I'll pay you some of my husband's good money...

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northyorksbelle · 20/08/2014 22:58

Forgot to say OP but I effing love your username. It's the best one I've seen on this site and I'm jealous that it's not mine. Nanny Plum is epic.

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iamstegosaurus · 20/08/2014 23:17

I feel your pain after a particularly bad day with my ds who is also nearly 5. Just when it felt like we were getting somewhere too.Sad

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HSMMaCM · 21/08/2014 17:17

northyorksbelle been childminding for 15 years, so been through it loads of times. Nearly very child is different, some just say I don't need a nappy any more, some are scared of the toilet, some just can't see the point in doing it, some have some kind of additional need, some can be bribed incentivised, some are age one and some are age five, but most are around 3. Majority of cases take a couple of days to a week.

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northyorksbelle · 21/08/2014 20:08

I'll be closing in on the 2 year mark very soon and I have to be honest and say that I didn't expect this kind of emotional turmoil until the teenage years struck.

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HSMMaCM · 21/08/2014 21:00

99% of the time it shouldn't be stressful for anyone. It's only the other 1% who generally have a good reason to be slow.

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soupmaker · 14/09/2014 22:02

We are at 3 1/2 years and counting with DD1. Sigh. She's 6. I'm utterly exhausted and fed up with it. If DD2 turns out to be the same I'm leaving.

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Heleng1982 · 14/09/2014 22:14

We started potty training my 3 and a half year old in May he was three in March . And up until may he refused point blank to sit on anything potty/ toilet related . He would scream and hit and bite just at the mention of it . Well we are making progress he's fine with wee but doing a poo he just won't unless it's in his bed time pull ups .Hmm
Well my just turned two year old is loving sitting on the potty/toilet he's done two poos on it no wee's yet but I'm more hopeful as he likes using the toilet . Grin So yes they are all different x

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flowerfairy · 15/09/2014 18:34

It has taken us over a year. Ds was trained at2.7 with very few problems. DD has been a nightmare. Started at 2.4 had few successes and then gave up, a couple of times as rewards, buttons didn't seem to make much difference. And people told me girls were easier to train, haha!!! We have recently tried to start a poo routine (after watching Dr Ranj on CBeebies, and for 3 nights so far it has worked and tonight she took herself off to the loo, Touch wood.
So completely agree with OP it does depend on the child completely!

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northyorksbelle · 16/09/2014 21:02

flower I can't believe how are paths are so even and parallel (I saw Get Well Soon and thought a poo routine sounded good though I only implemented it after all the poos in the bath - you remember right?). Routines. Routines for life I say.

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MamOfTwo · 16/09/2014 21:37

Flowerfairy and Northyorksbelle - I recognise your names as fellow sufferers parents of DCs taking the scenic route to successful potty training! What is this poo routine you speak of? Please enlighten me! Also, dare I say it, are you now in the promised land - have your kids cracked it? I hope so! DD2 and I are taking a break. She is now 3.6. Going to try again in half term. Sigh.

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mineallmine · 16/09/2014 21:48

O god, my dd will be 4 in a couple of weeks and has never ever done a poo in the toilet or potty. She was a little late to wee train - 3yrs and 3 months - but got it straight away day and night. But I'm really despairing now about the poo. What's the story with movicol? How does that help? And what's this poo routine from cbeebies? DD has just started playschool and hasn't had a poo accident there yet (2 weeks in) and then generally does one in the afternoon, and maybe another sloppy one later - sorry for the TMI. Has anyone PLEASE PLEASE got any suggestions?

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flowerfairy · 18/09/2014 14:06

DD had begun to poo just before bath, a couple of days in a row so took her to sit on the loo at the same time each day, and gave her a toy (as she seems to think a poo will appear in less than 10 secs Hmm) so she was occupied for a little while. Probably not particularly hygienic, but have to find her something to do as she likes to be busy and do it in private too! Then on the third day she took herself off after tea. I think she was also getting fed up of not being able to play when she'd had an accident as it was late in the day so it always resulted in getting in the bath too! Yesterday though she had a couple of little mishaps, as she had begun to poo in her pants, but no amount of sitting on the loo seemed to result in anything in the loo. Today though after breakfast she shouted me as she had done it in the loo, huzzah!!! It's been a long battle, but think we are beginning to see a little progress at last. Smile
northyorksbelle We are obviously linked in the cosmos somewhere, hope things are improving with a poo routine for you too!

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northyorksbelle · 18/09/2014 20:26

Routines for life. We persevered with the poo routine (gets undressed, goes for a wee and then isn't allowed into the bath until he has done a poo) and by golly he got it. We had the odd hiccup but he appears to understand what is expected (did I mention I love routines?) of him. While over time it is true to say it has lapsed altered to suit circumstances the regime is there and we have had no poo in pants or bath. Not even one! He sometimes tells me that he doesn't need a poo so I tell him to get in the bath and tell me if he decides he does need one. Within minutes of splashing he tells me that he needs a poo so we get him out and worry about the bubbles on the floor and toilet seat later - I think it's to do with the warm water relaxing muscles isn't it? Anyway, he goes once a day normally and that's it, even of he decides he needs another at any other time of the day, which is rare, he does it on the toilet. I'm one of those that has previously sat next to the toilet for twenty minutes reading a story for him while he sits there motionless and those were dark dark days.
As for his peeing I'm at a loss. There appears to have been some strange otherworldly voodoo spell cast on the boy. He has been at big school for almost three weeks and there has not been one single accident. Not one. He just goes to the toilet now or he finds the nearest bush/tree depending upon circumstances and does it. I will not fight it but I cannot explain it. I think we've cracked it...! OMFG.

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northyorksbelle · 18/09/2014 20:32

By the way if ds2 attempts to give me even half as much trouble I promise I'll just leave as I believe I have paid my dues now after two years.

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Mouthfulofquiz · 18/09/2014 20:41

I've got a 2 year old boy who can go all day without a nappy - no problem. Put any clothes on him and he wees in the straight away! He may well be naked forever! He's a big and tall lad so I'm a bit worried about what happens when he grows out of size 6 nappies / pull ups if he's not ready to go without. He is 2 years and 3 months now and has about 3 months left in size 6s I reckon!

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flowerfairy · 19/09/2014 09:12

Huzzah northyorksbelle Long may it continue! And lets just hope like lots of other posters on here, DS2 will be different. Good luck when that time comes!

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BrieAndChilli · 19/09/2014 09:23

We tried everything with ds1, at age 7 he was assessed by physio and found to have low muscle tone and poor core muscle strength. After a course of physio and hydrotherapy he rarely has accidents.
We also used a wobl watch which vibrates at preset times (watch probably best for school age children to help remind them to go to loo at school.
Dd was trained in 1 week at around 20 months.
Ds2 is taking some time but not nearly as bad as ds1 so trying to be a bit more relaxed this time!

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northyorksbelle · 22/09/2014 20:21

Little man had a poo in his pants on Saturday but I remain surprisingly upbeat right now. I was a little disappointed but then realised that it wasn't really his fault. Please note that the Daddy decided to take him out late in the afternoon which is of course all well and good and marvelous but it meant we were late back and so the evening schedule of tea and bath etc was knocked off its timeline. He was stuck in his car seat when his little poo body clock went off and he couldn't do anything about it. The poor little lamb was a little upset by it too. That naughty Daddy got a good telling off and since Mummy was back in charge of time keeping there has been no further problem.

How was your weekend flowerfairy my potty training soulsister?

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flowerfairy · 23/09/2014 13:08

Well done northyorksbelle I have not faired so well since Thursday, as DD decided she would take against the poo routine, despite huge amounts of trumping!!! She didn't poo for 4days then, til yesterday am at 7.50am, when I have to leave for work. Quickly got her on the loo, but she seems to be having a problem completely emptying her bowel. Small accident this morning too. Feeling at a loss again. She is soooooo stubborn, can't think who she takes after!

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northyorksbelle · 24/09/2014 08:30

I hate it when my little man doesn't go, he has also gone for up to four days without a poo and it's frustrating because he's a good eater so must need to go. It's another struggle for power I guess as I don't think he's ever been constipated - by that I mean he has never shown any sign of discomfort or difficulty whenever he has gone even after the four days. Pump her full of water and or orange juice to help get things... ahem, moving!

I sense that the force is strong with this one flower but don't let her slip over to the dark side, I'm sure she is otherwise far too scrumptious for it. Otherwise what I recently did (and pathetically I felt awesome afterwards) was to line up the teddies and kick the poo out of them. Also, have the Wine that I cannot have Sad.

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flowerfairy · 24/09/2014 13:13

Thanks for the pep talk northyorksbelle DD is an extremely fussy eater and will not drink juice (strange I know) and eats plenty of grapes, apples, dried fruit, veg less so, but we do have occasional breakthroughs. Traffic light rice last night was fun-and she played the game yay!

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