At the end of my tether with 3yo and toilet power struggles! Help!!

[flowerfairy]

DD is 3yo and we started pt just under a year ago. We have had times where we have had a dry week or 2 and I've thought we'd cracked it, but mostly we have at least 1 daily accident wee or poo. She is extremely strong willed and will not sit on the toilet/potty if asked event though you can see she is wriggling or about to poo. If you take her without asking she refuses to sit on or full tantrum follows. I don't know what to do anymore, have used rewards ( we have a sticker chart and reward for every 10 she collects) nursery are rewarding her too and tell me she is asking to go. At home if she goes of her own accord if she sees you in the vicinity of the toilet she asks to be left alone, but then we're left with a mess every time to clean up! Tried ignoring all accidents and gentle reminders, threatening to use nappies again, just don't know what to do next. Feeling very demoralised, as DS was a doddle in comparison. Please help!

We'll done flower, hopefully you're in the home stretch now - good to know also your DS is feeling better now. I am trying the 'enforce on school run and car journey' thing with so far varying success. The new rule of doing a poo before getting into the bath is working fine or it has worked so far unless he is trying to prove a point to (this may or may not be the case but he's wily so gets very little benefit of doubt from me on this score) me by doing an extra poo at some point during the day in his pants.

What's this about not letting it get to you? Letting go and not letting it give you ulcers? How do you do that?

My dd hates the shower and I out her in the shower if she had accidents; she soon stopped having any accidents and went on the toilet! She's 2.5 and has been potty trained for about 6 weeks now, no accidents for a good three weeks!

Pardon?! That seems harsh to me Rum... On the one hand as none of my efforts have proven to bear fruit I'm hardly an authority on the matter but crickey that seems like a harsh course of action. I was under the impression that it isn't a good idea to "punish" them for their accidents because you don't want to give them the idea that toileting is a bad thing...

As an update there is no change this end. I may have to concede defeat, if he doesn't care about sitting in his own diddle, why should I? As a stay at home mum, what use am I if not for the washing and ironing?????

northyorksbelle still no improvement here. Resorted to threat of back to nappies and then had to carry it through, see my new post. Am at a total loss!!!!