Still not trained

[mostlyconfused]

My 3 year old DD is still having "accidents". I started to train her when she turned 2 and was mostly ok with it. However she still wets or poos herself sometimes and lately it has been more and more often. It's got worse since I had DS 2 months ago. I just don't know what to do. I've tried taking her dolls away when she does it and giving them back when she uses the toilet but she is still making all these mistakes. I'm really worried as she starts nursery in August and don't want her going when she is still my fully trained.

Any tips or advice would be great. I'm completely at the end of my tether.

Wel firstly I wouldn't punish her for making a 'mistake'. Rather reward the good, stickers for dry days or similar.
It is common for them to regress when a sibling comes along.
I would let things settle before trying anything else too drastic.
How near to 3 is she?

She turned 3 in March. She is so clever in every other way I just don't understand it. I find it so hard to deal with. I've tried reward charts, stickers , chocolate buttons , promise of days out. Nothing has worked.

Can you work out a pattern for when it happens?
Is she distracted? Involved in playing?
Clearly you will be a bit distracted. Are you remembering to remind her?
Do you feel she is doing it on purpose? To get attention? Or is it really an accident that she didn't know was coming?

Firstly she's 3. She's been on this earth 3 years and has learnt so much already, you say she's bright in every other. Way so this is probably what her brain has left till last.

Secondly don't punish her or make it stressful. When they are ready they will get it. Have lot of nappy free time with a potty close by, heavily praise the potty use and ignore the accidents (oh dear, never mind, next time on the potty - and don't mention it again)

She will get it, often kids just pick it up almost over night and ou wonder what all the fuss is about, it will come she will not be going off to uni in nappies!!

She turned 3 in March. She is so clever in every other way I just don't understand it. I find it so hard to deal with. I've tried reward charts, stickers , chocolate buttons , promise of days out. Nothing has worked.

She is clever and she knows his gets her attention (and attention away from the baby). Attention is attention after all, even if it is mummy being annoyed at her. Reward the dry days (we went back to rewarding for dry hours at one stage when there was a bit of attention seeking). It'll sort itself out. She'll make sure she stays dry when the other children are at nursery

Hi mostly, I can feel your pain as I think I am in the same position and would love a magic wand to fix this (I posted on another thread (failing my boy with this potty training - 18 months in!!!!) under another name - I somehow managed to kill that profile, anyway...) as we are closing in on 20 months now and I find it astonishing that I cannot get this right for my little man. He too is otherwise articulate, eager to learn and try new things but this "skill" eludes us.
I think we're now locked in a battle of wills and I am trying to stay calm when he has his "accidents" but it easier said than done. He shares his nightly baths with his 18 month old brother and tonight I had to remove them both and re-run the bath when I saw a floater or two which he didn't tell me about. What can I do? DH tried to stifle a guffaw when I told him about it but I guarantee it would not have been funny had it been him having to fish it out with his bare hands!

Nursery is equipped to help with potty training so don't worry if it is not 100%. They will join in and help as needed. Just provide a bag full of changes of clothes

She's only three. Don't worry. Some children will start nursery in nappies at that age. As others have said - praise the good and ignore the bad.