Potty Training Nightmare!

[cjp31]

I have just had the Bank Holiday weekend from hell trying to potty train my little boy. He is now nearly 4 and this is the 3rd time we have tried getting him to start using a potty but he is just completely unwilling to cooperate. He won't sit on a potty or a toilet and throws massive tantrums. We are sticking to our guns this time - I don't want him to keep thinking he will get back into nappies if he makes enough fuss but we have made absolutely no progress and he holds everything in so he doesn't need to go. Last year he gave himself a bladder infection doing the same thing. I am feeling so frustrated. He starts school in September and I can't bear for him to be the only child still in nappies. All his friends are dry and have been for some time but he shows no inclination to want to be a 'big boy' like them. In every other respect he is a very bright little boy, though he is very shy. I really think I need some specialist help but don't know where to go

We've just started my 3 year old he turned 3 in March he won't use a potty or toilet he just does it in his pants but today he went 6 hours without doing a wee I was starting to worry . I put him in his pull ups so hopefully he has done one now . Today was a slightly better day he say on the potty a lot more granted he didn't do anything but at least he didn't kick up a fuss .
Why does potty training have to be so frustrating :(

No advice, just sympathy. My DS is 3.9 years and i still don't think he's ready. It's so frustrating comparing and thinking why are you so late. He shows no interest in being a big boy, just sees it as an inconvenience I think. I've tried for the last 18 months, giving breaks inbetween, different methods and nothing is sinking in. Everything! He is also very shy, hates praise which is really not great when I'm trying to potty, well toilet train now as he's so big! I simply have no idea what to do now. I'm sick of hearing, he'll get there! When?!!!

You need a big old bribe to get the first wee - don't think stickers are going to cut it...

Personally I don't believe in taking breaks from potty training so I would really encourage you to keep going and to research into ways to overcome the current problems or get specialist advice as you say.

I know taking a break can make it easier for some people, but in my opinion once you've decided you're happy with the level of physical ability your child shows, you should soldier on and keep teaching them about going on the potty and using incentives to change their mind about not wanting to use it. Unfortunately in the case of some children, they become more strong-willed and stubborn the older they get.

I started my son a lot younger than the current guidelines (at 17 months) and have met with resistance in various forms but I have used lots of gentle methods derived from like-minded parents and also used a fair amount of bribery along the way and kept going, teaching him over and over again that weewee and poopoo are for the potty. My son has potty trained gradually and is perfectly happy and comfortable using the potty these days (at 22 months) although we mostly still encourage him by singing songs, reading books, watching videos, giving him treats (only one at a time though!). In the interests of full disclosure, he still has a way to go to be an independent toilet user and also has around 1 wee accident most days and often one at night - which I think is perfectly appropriate for his age.

My main point is that there were many times when I felt he didn't want to train but I coaxed him out of it/gave hm incentives in order to work around those issues. I really don't believe in the idea of emotional readiness, you just need to help them to get used to the idea of not using nappies.

Good luck!

Speak to your gp, they can refer you to specialists if necessary. Just a warning, pushing a child in the wrong ways whilst trying to potty train can cause serious mental health problems. We had a child at nursery who had to see a mental health specialist because he was told off for not using the potty, then he held in his poos for days making him very poorly and his behaviour unmanageable. If your son is not ready, then wait. The embarrassment of having the only child at school in nappies will be much better than him still having toilet trouble for his whole childhood.

I tried the same thing bank holiday - trying to potty train my twin boys, complete nightmare. They will now wear pants and sit on the potty but won't wee or poo in it. I'm trying a different method which involves starting with 1 hour with no nappies and then building from there. They started well with short amounts of time but i listened to everyone who told me to ditch nappies and get them in pants all day - i tried on Sunday and Monday of the bank holiday and it ended with them refusing to wear pants or go near the potty. I'm now having them wear pants just in the afternoons and although they will wear pants and sit on their pottys (i put them on them every half an hour) they are just weeing and pooing in their pants. I waited until they were older 3 years and 3 months. My washing machine is on all the time - not sure what to do next - is it best to keep as we are gradually building up to longer amounts of time, or ditch the nappies and just do loads of cleaning or have a break and go back to nappies.

Well, so much for sticking to our guns - we have just returned from an overnight stay in hospital where my son was referred after seeing the GP. His temperature was over 40 and he was refusing to eat or drink anything. He has an infection because he has basically 'held everything in' so as to avoid using the potty. We have had no option but to put him back in nappies as he is so poorly.
Fortunately we saw a very nice GP and she is going to refer us to a specialist for some help as we just have no idea where to go from here.

looking to start potty training my daughter who will be 2 in july but dont have a clue on where to start!!! HEEEEELP