3 1/4 and point blank refusing

[JibberingImbecile]

My son is 3 1/4 and our health visitor is saying he really should be starting to work on his potty training. We've had a potty round the house for the last year to let him get used to it and he's got a book called Pirate Pete's Potty that he loves.

He screams when we suggest he sits on his potty (we've tried three different ones including a mickey mouse one that has a handle to pull that cheers) and a seat that goes on the toilet. For a while he would tell us when he'd done a wee or a poo in his nappy but now he won't tell us and screams when we change his nappy to a point where he's soaked through the nappy and his trousers as well before we can do it a lot of the time.

We've been very careful to not put pressure on him over it and we've tried to make it fun. He's not been told off or anything regarding it.

A side issue is that I have to use a disabled loo when we go out as I'm in a wheelchair meaning myself, my husband and my son have to come in if I need the loo when we're out. He's absolutely terrified of the hand dryers in public loos to a point where he hides in a corner shaking and screaming. We've tried all sorts to try and deal with that fear but nothing's helping. We take a towel out so we don't need to use them but if the word "toilet" or "loo" is mentioned while we're out then he starts to cry.

I'm wondering if the two might be connected and if anyone has any ideas how we might get through it all. Any tips would be hugely appreciated!!!

Don't panic. He will potty train!

My ds was over 3 when we had the breakthrough. We had bought a toy he liked (a storio - computer type thing with stories) and he was allowed that when he was on the potty. Took about a week before it was all done n dusted. I did feel pressure from my hv but ignored it and even stopped all mention of potty training for a month or so at 3.1-3.2 as it was meeting with such a negative response from ds.

Coincidentally ds loathes the hand dryers in toilets! He ran out screaming the othet day as someone had set one off. I have no answers for that.

But on the potty trainibg I would step back fot a few weeks, not mention it and then try again. On the plus side ds was dry at night very easily - all the trouble was getting him to cooperate in the day.

I'm having similar problems my son was 3 in March , he knows when he needs a wee and a poo . But he refuses point blank to sit on the toilet or potty , he screams and carries on like someone is trying to hurt him he bites and hits . My health visitor told me not to force him so we've been doing it bit at a time at first we went and let him choose his big boy pants which he loved .
On Saturday I decided to bite the bullet and take his nappies off so far he's not asked to use a potty or toilet but when he has wet himself he's told us he was doing it ( so frustrating )
I need some tips on how I can get him to sit on it , the only good thing at the moment is him not flipping out about not having a nappy on so I suppose we are going in the right direction ( or is that wishful thinking on my part :) )