2.5 year old distressed at mention of potty training

[PastaandCheese]

DD is 2.5 years. All the signs of readiness but when I started suggesting she use the potty a few weeks ago she became hysterical shouting 'no potty' just at my mild suggestion.

I wasn't worried and dropped the subject but then she asked to go on the potty several times so I did as she asked with no result but no distress.

She is now back to being against the idea which is fine save the fact she now hates her nappies too. She holds her wee until she is dancing about, clutching at herself and crying and sometimes demanding a new nappy for the wee even if it is empty??

She needs to pick her poison and I don't know how to help her. I'm happy with nappies or the potty but she isn't happy with either!

I think she has perfectionist tendencies cheers for that DH without the patience to practice anything due to her age. We had a similar pattern recently where she tantrumed over her scooter because she couldn't instantly use it perfectly and needed to practice.

Really don't know where to go with this......

Well done if you've got to the end of my essay!

My DD is going through similar. Showing signs of readiness but gets very distressed when the potty is produced.

She will be 3 in August so I am not stressing too much. Have you got a seat for the toilet maybe? We bought one of those and DD will sit but not do anything!

Im just hoping it will all click some day!

Sorry I have no practical advice , just wanted to sympathise with you!

Hi! This is my first post so pls bear with me re acronyms etc! I'd advise buying some nice knickers (Disney Princess / Hello Kitty etc) which they will want to wear! Then just bite the bullet and go for it!! My experience with dd1 (potty trained at 2.5yrs, now 4.5yrs) was that once she'd wee'd in her knickers (is definitely better to start indoors!) she did not want to do it again as she was not used to being cold and soggy as Pampers are good!! From then on she was v good at weeing on the potty and the toilet altho poos were v distressing for her for a few days to the point the Dr gave her a laxative! Apparently that particular fear is quite common so I read at the time! I'm about to start potty training dd2 (now 2.5yrs)- one thing I forgot to mention - we did also give little rewards (little cheap toys etc) and introduced a sticker chart which really seemed to work! Hope you find this helpful and let me know how you get on!

Hehee! I hope it works for you! Has he been in normal pants yet at all out of interest? With our dd2 we were planning to train her during her recent chickenpox as she was housebound but it just seemed a bit too much to put on her as she was covered in spots!

Thank you everyone. I've ordered a book about potty training and some special potty training stickers today. The book has a button you press to create a cheering noise which I'm hoping she will like as she likes noisy books.

bebees I do wonder if there is too much talking and not enough doing. She is articulate and normally talking to her and getting her to agree to something after an explanation is the way to go but I think you might be right that she doesn't really understand being wet.

jollyjester we have a special seat with a little seat stored in the lid that pulls down. Sadly it only fits the upstairs main bathroom so not as ideal as downstairs but I might fit it anyway and see if it gets her interest.

have you tried the "grown up toilet" instead of potty? get a child seat that fits the standard toilet bowl and try that. using the grown up toilet might help....
also a star chart or other rewards.
positive reinforcement. ignore accidents - no negativity - just clean up and get on.....

I agree withbebees too, personally. My DD is controlling and I had a bit of this before I trained her, also at 2 and a half. Wanting immediate nappy changes (although not consistently), resisting 'suggestions' to use potty or toilet.

I think just do it - there is something to said for calmly being 'set' - it takes that fear of failure from the child because they just have to get on with it; there's no choice. If she's a perfectionist then soiling herself is likely to distress her to an extent and give her impetus to master things quickly. Empower her for the most part; let her choose to take herself to the potty or toilet and be full of praise when she does. If I particularly want DD to try and wee before going out or on a journey then I tend to ask her respectfully but in a firm-ish way with a explanation.

Lots of water to start with helps give frequent reminders of the 'need to wee' sensation. Hope it goes well!

PastaandCheese Yes - we found the same with DD1 - she also was v articulate (even more so now!!) but it is a huge transition for them to move on from nappies and they are only small. DD1 was v emotional during potty training!!

As VicarinaTutu and EugenesAxe have said, always stay positive and encouraging and if accidents happen (which they will) make v light of it. And when she does do either on the potty or toilet make a huge fuss of how well she's done!!

I'd also suggest not expecting a 'dry night' for a good long while - we kept DD1 in pull up night knickers for ages - she'd been dry at night for months before she actually wanted to do without them and we waited for her lead on that which worked well as there've been no wet beds :-)

Well it's been an interesting few days.

I've experimented with having her nappy off at home. The first afternoon she did a poo on the potty and was so pleased with how impressed I was and the special upsy daisy sticker I gave her.

Just before bath she poo'd in her knickers though and we had an absolute sobbing fit over that despite reassurances.

Yesterday I missed her morning wee as I was feeding DS so she went 7.30-10.30 with no nappy but also no wee.

I then put a nappy on for her toddler dance class and lunch at my friend's. When we got home she cried when I said we should take her nappy off..... So I didn't.

My lunch friend has 4 DCs and she said the same as everyone here. No nappy but just stay in all day.

I've decided to go for it properly next weekend. We are away at Centre Parcs this weekend and I don't want to ruin her holiday and I have a 9 week old DS so the thought of DH being around as a spare pair of hands is very attractive especially when balancing potty training with breastfeeding.

Oh..... Not worried about nights at all. Just ordered a mega box of her night time Pampers as I didn't think we'd be ready for a dry night for a very long time!

Not worried if we don't crack potty training provided she will then agree to use her nappy and stop the crying that she doesn't want to do a wee at all!