3yo terrified of accidents and won't go on the potty

[eversomuch]

That just about sums it up. DD is very sensitive and gets very upset whenever she tries going without a nappy and then has an accident.

A year ago we could get her to sit on the potty and even sometime wee or poo (once!) and we did a nice reward sticker chart that she was excited about, but after she had an accident she refused. We took a long break and are now trying to encourage her again (no stress, and telling her "no worries" about accidents, everyone has them when they're learning, etc ), but we're really not getting anywhere.

She tells us that she'll wear underpants and go on the potty when she's a big girl and she tells us when she's made a wee or a poo in her nappy, but that's about it.

We really don't want to stress her out, but she'll be starting nursery in September and even though that is several months away, given our progress over the past year, I'm worried she won't be ready.

Any suggestions on how to get her more comfortable with the whole thing?

I've tried bribing with video time and chocolate but not even that works.

I have no advice but just wanted to say I have exactlt the same issue with my dd who is fast approaching 3. Watching with interest!

Anyone have any words of wisdom?

Seems like we are going backwards. DD sat on her potty (in her trousers & nappy) for the first time in months the other evening. But afterwards she immediately started freaking out about taking her nappy off for her bath, and every evening since then has seen the same behaviour.

We're not even talking about potty training with her now, but she still seems terrified.

No real wisdom, but similar issue with my ds who has just turned three, so thought I'd share what we are trying, and hope you get some more experienced replies too!

Every time he's seemed stressed we back right off, we are just trying to move forward in small increments, so at the moment he is will sit on the toilet first thing in the morning and last thing before bed (hasn't done anything in it yet, though, like your dd, he has managed before), and we are just increasing the time he has a nappy off at these times and let him have one as soon as he wants it back on, we don't ever try and argue or encourage him to go without etc. the main aim is to get him willingly to sit there. This is proper toilet with child seat btw as he was a bit big to be comfortable on the potty.

I have heard that what can work well is to not comment at all on accidents, either positively or negatively, as even repeated reassurances can make them self conscious. I find this incredibly difficult but I am going to try this if I can!

Another thing I do is to get him to put pants on then nappy over the top, as this has got him used to wearing the pants, and he is also more able to feel when he has gone, without the consequences of an 'accident'.

One thing that has struck me - could your dd be afraid of weeing in the bath in particular? Maybe she needs reassurance that it's ok if she does?

re: weeing in the bath, she got very upset when it happened a few weeks ago, but then another evening she said she wanted to wee in the bath.

I like the idea of trying to wear pants under her nappy, though at this point she won't even look at a pair of pants. won't go near a potty. now won't go nappy-free.

we're backing off completely for now but if she's still so resistant in another month or two? is there any point at which we should apply some pressure?

Instinctively I would say not to pressure at all, let her get there in her own time etc, but it's so difficult to know what the right thing is, as, like you, I worry that he'll never get it and I should be sorting it.

However, they are still very little and can change so much in a couple of months that I don't want to create a problem by rushing it. Also, you might find if she sees other children nappy free at preschool that might do the trick, though I understand wanting it done first.

Anything else she's worried about and hanging onto the nappy for security? we've had new sibling and house move in the last couple of months so that's set things back a bit.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/0857630784?pc_redir=1399659823&robot_redir=1 pip and posy and the puddle helped our dd accept accidents sometimes happen!