Advice please

[Katiemoo32]

Hi....my lb is 3 in April...I thought I would give potty training a go at the beginning of this week, he has been trying it out at nursery two mornings a week and staying dry, but not actually doing anything on the toilet/potty when he is put on it, so obviously holding it in. Anyway after the first day he wet himself a few times and the second day with a promise of lolly he finally did a wee on the potty, the next day he held it in all day and after a lot of sitting on the potty and promise of lollies again he did it a few times, enjoyed putting it down the toilet etc...but then he just started holding it in, he was pooing which he was scared of and getting upset and getting very distressed and just holding it in allllllllll day, my gut instinct was he wasn't ready but everyone keeps telling me he is too old to be in nappies blah blah and I should try it. I have put him back in pull ups now as he was so upset and holding it in which isn't healthy...I just need reassurance I have done the right thing, he is just not ready is he? xx

Go with your gut your his mum and know him best.

Hi, try not to worry, he'll sense your anxiety and DO NOT listen to anyone elses pressure and scorn it's not their problem so making you feel worse is just spite! Nursery is great because they will work it out for themselves that other kids use the toilet without anyone pointing it out or comparing them, sure, 3 is later than most but my oldest was 3 and a bit before he decided, nope, don't want a nappy anymore I want to use the toilet, I didn't do potties cause I remember feeling anxious and embarrassed as a child about them and lets face it, they are discusting to have
to use, plus, they get used to the potty only to have to change again! the small toilet seat attachments are quite good and although I'm no expert, I really believe that if you give it little attention he may relax more. Also, after toilet training, always make them wait to get to a toilet as I feel some parents are manipulated by children claiming to be so desparate! You already know he can hold it for ages if he wants to so at the very least you know he'll have better manners than most when he finally gets there! Think about all those competing parents that try to get the toilet training in so quick, the crazy trips into town with a potty or changes of clothes, letting their kids dictate to them that they want to go nooooow etc, don't sweat it my friend, this is what pull ups are for, they are meant to allow the child to feel uncomfortable so maybe let him feel it for a bit and he may be more inclined to take charge of his own comfort rather than rely on you so much. My boys were both a little later than most but I didn't have to worry about fresh pants and never let them just go like a dog in the streets once they were toilet trained, I think your boy is probably just a bit anxious in a natural human way, we feel vunerable and like our privacy when using the loo and there's no reason why a little kid would feel any different. I say let him keep using the pull ups and get on with enjoying your little boy, they will leak but this is what will push him naturally to the next step, he's already

tried the toilet so he's got an idea already! Most of all relax, he will get there! by the way, I just noticed your nick name, my best friend calls me katiemoo! kind regards and good luck.