Training a reluctant 4 year old

[Amethyst35]

Currently on day 5. Not going well. I know people say they all train when they're ready, but I don't believe that anymore. Just can't see an end to it.

Big sympathy. My DD is back to training at present. I never want to change another pair of pooey pants. Yuck!

She is getting wee's, but only after a small accident first. We've caught one poo on the loo. The neighbours would have heard my cheer.

We have had a five day set back with a heavy cold and now loose tummy not helping.

I've been rewarding her with a chocolate button when she does make it. She is too big really for the potty so we're just using the big toilet and a seat reducer thing.

Is it a complete fail five days in or is there some progress?

my lad would never have been ready, never showed any signs of interest. He's nearly 4 and only just got the hang of it. new blue toddler loo seat from lidl was great, very stable. also watching u tube; peppa pig on loo as a bribe to stay there. Such a difference from his little brother, who is 2, and keen to try the potty etc. Just different personalities; just keep going in the assumption that one day your perseverance will become their normal habit!

He'll sit on the potty to try and do something now, but only for a couple of minutes. Seems quite happy to wee and poo in his pants. He goes to school in September, I don't know what will happen then.

The really worrying thing is everyone who says we'll get there in the end have children who trained before they turned 4. He's 4.2 now. Why is he not getting it when loads of 2 year olds seem to manage?

One of my sons started school nursery when we had only junked the nappy a fortnight before and he had never managed a poo in the toilet

My tips would be:

Patience
Set your cooker timer or phone stopwatch to go off every 20-30 mins then pop him on the loo with a sticker or choc button just for him cooperating with that and sitting on briefly

Think about reading a story to him while he sits on the loo in the hope that eventually he will coincidentally perform whole he is there

Then make a huge fuss

Put him into pants / with his favourite characters on

He will get the idea re wees more quickly if in pants not pull-ups

Probably will want to poo in the nappy first

Let him try weeing standing up next to dad/brother etc

Let him come in and chat while you are on the loo yourself

New book ... Everyone poos or pirate Pete

Make up a little toilet Rhyme to Chant together

Try not to feel that you are failing somehow

And lastly

Patience

Gp can refer to a continence clinic but they don't worry till the child is more like 6/7

If you are currently embroiled and struggling, perhaps shack off a bit?

Can't stop, that will just teach him to just hold out and wait for us to give up. I know it's trivial but I couldn't find any pants in his size with characters on. Which made me feel like shit to be honest. Just finding it hard. Expecting another baby in August and I don't think I can cope with an incontinent 4 year old who doesn't listen to a fucking word I say and a newborn.

Amethyst, girl I feel your pain on every level. I'm looking for the magic wand here but its not forthcoming - I have been posting on another thread (3.9 yo toilet training resistance - WITS END) looking for answers but have only found others who also feel the pain.

My boy will be 4 in a fortnight and we will then have been at this ridiculousness for 15, yes 15!!!!, months solid. Like you I know that I can't go backwards and put him in pull-ups but knowing I can't go back doesn't mean I know how to go forward and I feel like I am failing him every single day because I haven't managed to crack this for him yet. In my defence I would say that he is a fighter with a will of wrought iron when it comes to going to the loo. I don't know how I am supposed to deal with it if he just doesn't want to go to the toilet - I know that he doesn't want to go to the toilet because when I ask him why he doesn't / didn't go to the toilet, he tells me... 'I don't want to!!' I am close to the edge here though its clearly my fault because I have tried everything I can think of, everything that has been suggested to me and everything that I have read on the matter but nothing has worked. I

I would say that when we started this round (yeah this is not even our first attempt) my youngest was 7 weeks old but this didn't make it any more difficult in my opinion.