Twins, 4 months in, virtually no progress - help please!

[WhatTheWhat]

Hello,
we have 28m old twin boys and we started potty training shortly before their 2nd birthday. One was occasionally doing wees on the potty at that point and the other was asking to do poos (once or twice). We had potties around as their older sister was still using them.
Since then, there has been virtually no progress, they're frequently wet, have never without prompting gone to the potty on their own and they do almost all of their poos in their pants.
We started a reward scheme: poo in potty means chocolate coin, but even this only works if you spot the signs of needing to go and put them on the potty yourself.
They are physically capable and can decide when to wee: as long as we put them on the potty regularly, they will do their wees in there. If there's a chocolate coin on offer, they will sometimes do a small poo in the potty, but the 'main job' mostly goes into the pants.
I have done some reading, and wanted to know whether it's really worth (for example) cutting up nappies (they have not been in nappies for months) so that they can do their poos onto them in the potty, or whether we should just give up and leave it until they're 3 or whenever.
With three small kids in the house, it is very difficult to do 'watch like a hawk' training and we're getting sick of the constant dirty clothing.
We had them in pull up for holiday, which lifted the burden of washing clothes, and didn't really make much of a difference to whether they'd wee or poo on the potty. What pull-ups did was make us lazy about taking them to the potty, so we're thinking they're not a good solution.
Help please...
We don't want to give up, but it's wearing rather thin after 4 months of washing several (twins, don't forget) yucky sets of clothing each day.
Thanks.

They aren't ready.

Completely go back to nappies. have break for 2-3 months before considering trying again.

I'd wait. I've only just started with my son and he's just turned 3. Give yourself a break.

I'd wait. I've only just started with my son and he's just turned 3. Give yourself a break.

I'd wait. I've only just started with my son and he's just turned 3. Give yourself a break.

By

By

By

By the way you just nailed the prob with pull ups.

They're not ready. Give yourself a break and come back to it in 3 - 4 months. Is there a particular reason for preservering at the moment? Leave the potty out, continue to put them on it every night before their bath, but other than that, take the pressure off yourselves.

I agree with everyone who's said that they are just not ready.

My Dsis had twin boys and she didn't even bother trying until a few months after they were 3 years old.

I'm sure it won't take long once the time is right.

You must be at the end of your tether. It was stressful enough potty training my two separately.

2 is v young to try, especially with boys. I'd go back to nappies as suggested and wait until they're nearer 3. Don't feel like you are going back as they are obviously not ready yet.

I agree, they don't sound ready. My son wasn't ready at this age so I left him until 2 months before he turned 3. He was fully potty trained night and day in 3 days. No accidents at all after that.

Put them back in nappies

Potty training when the child is ready takes days not weeks

You also don't have to train them at the same time so make it easier on yourself and do it separately

They're not ready

Boys generally train at about 3

Trained both of mine at 3 and they were dry day and night within a week.

Like others have said, once they're ready it takes days, give yourself and them a break

Possibly you started too soon. Most boys I know including my own were not ready at 2.0. I would try again in perhaps 4-5 months. You don't need to leave it as long as when they are 3 probably they'll be ready at 2.8-2.9 ish.

That's a pretty strong consensus. It does feel like giving up on them to stop now though. My DH is fully in favour of going back to nappies.

I would go back to nappies in your situation, they are still very young.

OK, nappies back on. One twin not at all bothered, the other one said: "Not nappies, I want potty. Not nappies now". Heartbreak!

Let the one who isn't bothered stay in nappies. At least you'll have cut the problem in two. There's no reason they should do the same.

It's ok to do them separately! If he doesn't want nappies, just go with the flow (so to speak!) and leave them off. I did try to go with what my DC wanted to do as that meant they were more on board with the plans, thus more success. For DS this meant he was over three, for DD, that meant before two, they really are all different, even twins

They aren't ready. Bless you, you must be tearing your hair out. Give all of you a few months, then look back at it. If one twin doesn't want to go back into nappies, then give it some more time with him, and see how it goes.

Waaaaaaay too early.

If 1 doesn't want nappies then tell him he needs to use the potty

Also get a toddler seat and give him the option of the toilet -1 of mine was very resistant to the potty but loved using the toilet

We have toilet seats as their older sister is using them. They can do standing up wees (sort of) and they occasionally would sit on the toilet seat.
We can't do them separately as they are very keen at noticing when one has something different to the other.
When we were out and about, it was clear that one was holding in, despite us saying that he was in nappies and it was ok, however, there was then a dirty nappy, so it looks like they'll go back to being used to nappies.
Then comes my main 'fear': that they will make a conscious decision to soil themselves, which must be harder to unpick later?
Or not?

I think you can do them separately .

I think the consensus that they are not ready has come from your previous posts, where it seemed neither were progressing and both were reluctant.

It doesn't seem fair to hold one back because the other isn't ready.

It might be confusing and send mixed messages to tell him to go ahead and use his nappy when he actually wants to use the toilet.

Him holding his wee/poo in, and saying 'no not nappies' is as a clear sign that he is ready as you're ever going to get, I think.

I'd try and stray not too far from a toilet/bush, put underpants on him and take a spare pair of clothes including socks when you go out. I found it helpful, to go out as little as possible when they were at the early stages of potty/toilet training.

The advantages of doing this separately, as I see them are..

It'll probably be easier to tackle this one at a time.

It'll be sending out an important message that it's OK for them to be different, and to be at different stages.

One being keen to progress is likely to spur your other son on, and as long as it isn't seen as a competition, I think this is a positive, too.

Even if this doesn't happen, you'll be halving the cost you spend on nappies, which with twins costs a fortune.

Good luck with it all, I bet they'll have cracked it before you know it.