6 year old DS wets himself every time we go out, need advice, are pull ups too far?

[Carter16]

Mu DS2 age 6 has for over 2 months now has wet himself on most family outings. He has a disliking to public toilets so when we are out he refuses to go saying that he doesn't need to, and then ends up wetting himself. It's happened in the cinima, restrants, shopping centers and supermarkers ext. Whenever we go out now its almost inevitable. I have tried to tell him that public toilets are not to be feared but he cannot be convinced. We have had to take spare pants and trousers wherever we go. It is a nusence for everyone and its embarrisint not just for him but whoever we are with. Has anyone got any experiance or advice on this matter.
Last weekend I put a pull up on him before we went shopping and also when we went to the cinima. He also wore one over xmas when driving to relatives as he falls asleep and wets himself (not dry at night so in night nappies). Have I gone too far by doing this? I told a mother from school about it and she disapproved. Both times the pull up was full. I know its not addressing the problem which is why I'm worried, but it does allow us to go out.
Thank you for reading. X

I understand why you are using pull ups, but have you had a chat with your GP?

I don't think using pullups is the way to go but clearly something needs to change. Do you think this could be a genuine phobia of public loos? Is it possible that he was scared by someone/something in a public loo 2/3 months ago? Have you been getting him to go into the gents on his own or has he still been coming into the ladies?

Having a "shy bladder" is not particularly unusual - it may be that when he's in an unfamiliar environment he physiologically can't get the wee to come out on demand (if someone has this it can take them longer than the concentration span of the average 6 year old to get any wee to come out, so I wouldn't be surprised if the average 6 year old gave up). If this is the issue then you need to allow lots of extra time for loo stops, be really really patient and help hi to have the patience he needs to bet his bladder working.

If it's not shy-bladder but instead more of a phobia/distaste for the public loo itself, would you consider getting some of these to keep in your handbag? He might be OK using one of these in a discrete non-public-loo location. Not a long-term solution but it might tide you over for as long as it takes to address the underlying issues.

Thanks so much for the advice. I think it may be a phobia so next week I will take him to the GP. I now don't think the pull ups are a good idea as they just encorage him to wee in them like a nappy. Yesterday he wore them when doing our shop and they were hanging down by the time we had finished they were so wet. He had actually wet them before we got their. He also uses his night nappy when he is awake. Most weekend mornings I'm pre occupied with my 3 year old and other things to take of his nappy myself. However unless I do he will just sit in it all morning. He does hie morning wee in it and will use it if he has too until its taken off him. I can tell if he has used it by how warme it is. He is not bothered by sitting around in a wet and saggy nappy.

I agree, pull-ups are just confusing the issue. But i sympathy re the public toilet - my OH is a bit OCD about germs in toilets and i think he has worried DD a bit, and now if she sees or hears anything new in a public toilet she gets worried and doesn't want to go - by that i mean the loud hand-dryer or even the odd high tech flush system in our very clean local macdonalds.