Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

False start with DS aged 3? Stop or continue?

9 replies

fireflyz · 09/01/2014 23:14

Started DS aged 3 on full days with no nappies 2 weeks ago. Mostly we caught him just as he was starting to wee or poo and helped him pull down underpants and sit on potty. Read stories etc for as long as he was happy to sit there. Did a few poos in potty and lots of wees.
Prior to this, we had been paving the way with introducing potty before the bath and also first thing in the morning after removing night time nappy. So we knew he was happy to wee in the potty.
Towards the end of week 1 he decided he would like to go to the big toilet. He has a friend who uses it so he wants to be like her, he says. We put on a pottette and he does wee but no poo, I think he needs a bigger step so legs not dangling.
He says he doesn't want to use the potty anymore. Point blank refuses to sit on them.
At nursery he tried the toilet and I think they said he did a wee in it. Also soiled himself at the end of day 1 there, and held it in on day 2 and then did a poo in his sleep that night. Didn't even wake up when we changed his nappy.
Told me that he didn't drink anything all day at nursery ... And I think he has some awareness of drinks helping you go to the loo as we have talked about this a bit (oh dear).

1st solo day with me after nursery he was hopping about holding it in because didn't want to go to potty. But when I asked him if he wanted to go upstairs to loo he said no. When I told him I was going to the loo and did he want to come and sit with me, again he refused. Then while I was on the loo he did a poo in his pants the first time, and the second time I was on the loo later he weed in his pants. Just because he was on his own I think.
He can't or won't pull down his trousers or pants to sit on potty.
He says he doesn't know when poo or wee is coming, he says it just comes.
Yet he does tend to stand very still when he does a poo. So I know when it's happening or very nearly about to happen. So I think he must have some idea, of poo at least.
I was worried about him holding it all in too much in an attempt to be dry. So today I just put him in a regular nappy. He seemed happy at first and did a few poos, and then he also seemed a bit sad at times as the morning wore on, and he did a few baby things like asking for baby food at lunch time etc.
after lunch I asked if he wanted to use the toilet as we were upstairs and he said yes. So I took off the nappy and he had a wee! Then he had a fart and a little bit of poo came out, and I think the echo noise of the wind in the loo made him jump, he practically jumped off the seat. Had a good look in to see where it was.
I asked if he wanted to wear a nappy or pull ups. He said pull ups with some excitement. So we wore them but he did a poo in them and didn't tell me, whereas he told me with the pants, and even with the nappy in the old days! We were at a friends house and that probably affected things. Although just before we went home he did try out her loo.

I feel at a bit of a loss. Where to proceed from here? I have a hunch he isn't completely ready but perhaps as we have got this far should we persevere? Or just leave it a month or so? Am terrified of damaging him through allowing him to develop bad retention habits. Also don't want to hold him back. But have this hunch that he isn't ready.
Does anyone else do any of the following:
Stop for a day off and then go back to it the next day?
Do nappy free half days?
Sorry for long post, hope to hear I am not alone!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
fireflyz · 10/01/2014 07:14

Bump :)
Had another soiled nappy while asleep last night! Again slept through nappy change. Thankfully didn't wake or would have been upset.
Has anyone else been through similar?

OP posts:
Flowerpup · 10/01/2014 16:37

You are not alone. My DS is 3.4 years and still not ready. I've tried so many times but it hasn't clicked with him. I've just given up again after a week intensive bare bottomed indoors, still can't grasp it. I would wait and not mention at all for a month and then try again. I know it makes you feel so crap as a parent, I think it everyday but I can't force it or risk it putting him off. He too was holding his poo in and it made me so sad to think that he was doing that. I thought what must he be thinking and just stopped. It will come eventually, I hope, for both of us!

fireflyz · 10/01/2014 17:20

Thank you so much for your kind words. Really helpful. I am in tears as I do feel completely rubbish. It was such a stressful week and a half and just felt a bit pointless in the end. And because he did manage to do a couple of poos and wees in potty I have the worry that I am holding him back! But the night soiling is just not him, he never usually do that unless he is ill. So as you say goodness knows what was going through us mind. I have read online about children wishing their bodily functions away. And then ending up in a bit of a pickle.
I guess we have to just have faith that they will get there eventually. Thank you again.

OP posts:
Flowerpup · 10/01/2014 19:06

Oh don't cry! Even though every time someone replies to one of my threads, I sob! The only thought that gets me through it is that I could never see him beginning to crawl, walk then begin to talk, it just felt like it was never going to happen and then of course it did! So I think one day, he'll get used to using a potty. I guess it's weird to watch them develop and grow up, almost like they never will, then they do and you think why was I so worried about it. I've had lots of hassle and digs from family about him not being potty trained but I tried when he had just turned two, and probably 10 times since, but one day, it's got to click.

babypants · 14/01/2014 03:28

Hi Ladies
I don't understand the need to rush them into toilet training, all the stress with the child and parents etc when some children don't get it till there close to four, my DS is 3.5 and I'm not worried at all. He still wont's to be a baby so I let him, because I know hopefully before 4 he will one day not like to be in dirty nappies, until then I'm just relaxing about it.

Leigh
Mum to DS who loves his bottles and still sleeps in his cot.
Addicted to cloth nappies.

FamiliesShareGerms · 14/01/2014 05:39

Hmmm, I'm not quite in agreement with babypants (I think most NS three yo are capable of learning to use the toilet reliably and don't understand why you would infantilise children who are old enough to be in control of their bowel and urinary functions, use a cup and get in and out if bed themselves). But if it has become a bit of a "thing", please don't stress OP. Take a break from it and ask him if he wants to wear nappies again - if he doesn't, then keep at it, if he does perhaps agree a time limit before you go back to big boy pants. Don't worry, it will happen.

Both of mine went pretty much straight to the toilet rather than using a potty, and a step is essential (£2 from Ikea...) Neither cared much for a loo seat either, preferring to dangle over the adult seat, but a well fitting seat might help give confidence.

babypants · 14/01/2014 19:18

Ok FSGerms

When I go and get my DS from his cot in the morning his bulky night time nappy is always wet and 99% of the time packed with poo! he aways wants his bottle at this time before he gets his nappy changed! ( he would put up a fight if I even suggested that I change his nappy before he has had his milk, and as I have mentioned in my other posts he loves the feeling of warm sticky poo on his bum ) and that's the time he lies with me and we have cuddles for 1/2 hour while he drinks his milk. After that he will let me change him without to much of a struggle.

Does he have control over his bowels and bladder, Mmmmm !!
When I do change his nappies the poo looks to me it's been there for some time ie well squished and flatting so thinking he has gone in his sleep.

When I read others posts here and on other forums, about children with holding ,getting constipated, then having to go on medication and on and on etc. Sorry but I'm not going to push PT at all, so this single mum will be keeping my boy in nappies for as long as he needs them.

Leigh
Single Mum to DS who loves his cot and bottles.
Addicted to cloth nappies.

Beccawoo · 20/01/2014 15:51

I tried potty training when my DS was 2.5, suffered a week or so of hell and gave up. Just went straight back to nappies, no fuss. Tried again at 2.9, he'd got it in a week. You can't push them if they're not ready and there is nothing wrong with stopping and trying again another time. Don't stress about ages, all children are different and all will get there eventually!

EnigmaticBlonde · 27/01/2014 09:32

Wow - I am so glad to have read this thread. DS aged 2yrs 9months - all summer poo'd on the potty and told me, then straight back to nappies. Feeling pressure from the outside world (YES I know!) and trying to force the issue with him at the moment has me borderline insane with frustration and him upset.

I KNOW not to push it - he will only do things when he wants to. Back to nappies for a while longer methinks!! Glad to see I'm not alone!

x

New posts on this thread. Refresh page