DS won't sit on potty with seat up

[MichaelaEMElse]

Hi I've recently started trying to potty train my lad. He's 32 months and he's only started to show all the signs of wanting to keep dry, wanting his nappy changing - saying he's wet etc.

We, me and my partner, bought a potty for him - that Fisher-price one with the flush and stuff - and put in the bathroom after he got familiar with it.

I started keeping the bathroom door open, letting him come in and sit on his potty while I'm sat on the toilet.

My problem is, he asks to go on the potty but only tells me this when he is having a wee-wee at that moment and when I do try and start to get him to sit on his potty with the seat up (with his trousers up and tackle in to begin with) he refuses. He climbs onto the toilet and says his a big boy but still when the seat is down.

He doesn't tell me when he has a poo-poo in his pull-up either.

He was slow in developing since he was a baby - he didn't start walking till after he was 2 but he whizzed through it when he was sure, he only had a hand full of words at the time too and now he parrots the television on nearly every programme and advert.

If your child had this problem, how did you break this cycle?

Do you mean the lid? I'm not familiar with the potty you describe but I have a vague idea that it looks like a miniature toilet. If so why do you want him to sit on it with the seat up? Surely that would be uncomfortable?

If you mean a lid, that makes more sense - maybe he's worried about falling in? You could show him with a teddybear or something that the hole is too small for him to fall into it, or perhaps put something inside and then take it out again to show him that it's not like the toilet where things go in and are flushed away never to be seen again.

You could try skipping the potty and put him straight on a toilet seat on the big toilet, if he wants to be like you.

If all else fails, my son loved to wee standing up and "aim" at a cheerio which I put into the toilet bowl for him. (You can also use a ping pong ball as they don't flush) - probably would try persevering with the sitting down first though, as standing up is a pain when they get a bit bigger and forget all about aiming.

Also it might just be that he's not ready yet. Lots of praise every time he tells you he is doing a wee. Maybe some nappy-free time so he can try and notice the feeling before it actually happens. If he does have an accident you need to be really matter of fact and unemotional and just say "Never mind, we'll try next time. Let's get you cleaned up, it's ok"

Yes I mean the lid - sorry for the confusion.

I don't think its him worry about falling in, as when we first bought it and set it up we let him look at it and fiddle a bit, let him dismantle it and put it back together and he even stuffed some of his smaller toys in there such as toy cars before he shut the lid again.

I'm not sure what it is unless its the lack of support in the middle?
I'm just so unsure of how to proceed with this - my mother and my sisters have only had girls and I'm not sure if this is a boys thing.
He seems more at ease with his Dad in the bathroom - is it just wanting to be like his dad and just refuses for me?

My partner works all day so the routine and training is down to me.

Yes he had a bare/nude mornings but showed no interest in going to use the potty. He just watches, says 'oh, wee-wee' and 'clean up' and doesn't react to the praise I give him.

As said before - he's a little daddy's boy. Would getting my partner to take over the potty duty when he gets in from work help?

Maybe! It could be worth a try.

I think it's definitely a weird feeling to sit on something with a hole and can make little children feel very insecure and worried. It might be worth trying a toilet seat in this case, although it's a similar feeling, some of them are "flatter".