Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Please or to access all these features

Potty training

Is your child ready for potty training at nursery? Here's the place for all your toilet training questions.

Not sure where to go next with potty training

8 replies

CatL · 03/11/2012 19:28

Sorry, this is long!
DD is 2.10 - very bright and articulate, but quite young compared to others I know same age, e.g. social development - doesn't mix well with other children, really struggled with starting a playgroup in Sept. also late with physical milestones (physio suggested slight hypermobility). She also KNOWS HER OWN MIND - which is probably the key info here!

Anyway, we got a potty about a year ago I think, and took a laid back approach to letting her play withy it, sit on it when wants, encouraged her to try and do something in it before bath etc. Occasionally had ' nappy off time' with potty nearby. Have had a few successful wees and poos in potty, but more luck than judgement (or me noticing signs she about to go and making her sit on it). She defintiely knows when she is going to poo, not so sure about wee. Anyway, she became less interested in the potty a couple of months back, so we offered stickers everytime she successfully did something on it - get and would get sticker book/ peppa pig comic etc. She seemed to like idea of stickers, but wouldn't actually try and get them, e.g. even if actually straining to go whilst I reminded her she only needed one more sticker before treat, would still refuse to sit on it. We got a children's toilet seat too, but I think that scared her so never sat on that.

I'm afraid a few weeks back I finally cracked under strain of all the other children same age being trained, and decided to have a more intensive try at training - bascially pants or nothing on in house apartfomr at night. Still wentout in nappies though. She did every single wee on floor / in pants, and waited til night in nappy to poo (which if often her pattern anyway, and she only goes every few days normally). She was absolutely determined she would not sit on potty or toilet, and got very upset / angry if we pushed it. We have up after about 4 days, and haven;t really tried since, as we felt the potty was becoming a very negative thing and cause of conflict, which we donlt wanbt of course!! The onyl time we've even suggested sitting on it since are when she seemed to be gearing up to poo at bathtime, i.e.not in nappy, and again she was determined not to.

So, what do we do now? Am afraid she is so stubborn, and has such a good memory, that she isn;t suddenly going to change her mind about this in a week or so. And still not sure how much is her being stubborn / wanting to have control, and how much us just that she really doesn't know when she needs to go. I think she is clever enough to have realised going in a nappy if far easier! Everyone keeps telling me she must be ready by this age. So what should our next step be,and how can we make the potty /toilet a positive thing?

PS have tried 'princess Polly's potty', letting her chose own potty, letting her choose own pants, and reading to her on potty (we soon realised she was asking to go on potty to get book, but never did anything whilst listening to it!)

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
nextphase · 03/11/2012 19:51

I'd forget about it for a few weeks, and stop stressing.

OK, they are boys, but I know several over 3 who are still in nappies. Its not the end of the world.

I HATE potty training, and am dreading getting DS2 out of nappies. Don't make it harder than it needs to be!

QTPie · 03/11/2012 22:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

RyleDup · 03/11/2012 22:23

I would put her nappies back on. Make no issues of it, and try again in a few months. My little boy is as stubborn as that as well. He's reached the stage where he has decided to toilet train, not me. I must say its working a lot better now he feels he's taking control of the situation.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 03/11/2012 22:24

For a wee? Grin

unexpectediteminbaggingarea · 03/11/2012 22:29

what qt said. Leave it at least a month without mentioning it. Then start again properly. Good luck. I hate potty training.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 03/11/2012 22:32

Serious suggestions now.

Let it go for a month or so. Hide the potty, make no mention of it at all. Then go cold turkey. I have to say, with two of mine, the only way I cracked it was to have NO nappies in the house. Not even for night times.

Meant a few wet beds, but then they got the message that big girls/boys don't wear nappies. They ended up trained day and night at the same time.

I made sure it was a week where I didn't need to go out, which made it easier not having to worry about accidents outside.

But unfortunately with my stubborn DC's, having nappies in the house (even well hidden) for night time seemed to give them the idea that they could just wait and use the nappy at night, and that they just wouldn't use the potty or toilet in the day.

Stubborn toads!

CatL · 04/11/2012 08:04

Thanks for messages. She has been back in nappies for a few weeks now and we have more or less left it, but potty is still about, so maybe I'll hide it. I'm quite stressed just thinking about cold turkey though - isn't staying in house all time, not doing normal activies and focusing totally on potty training putting too much stress on it? That's what confuses me, it seems opposite to the other advice of relaxing about it and letting her lead. I'm not the kind of parent who can stay sane in the house all day with my DD even if we aren't doing something like potty training!! We need to get out and we pay in advance for swimming lessons, play group (2 afternoons a week) etc. Also, she was not phased at all be weeing on the floor, so it wasn't that she was waiting to use the nappies (I know I said she pood at night, be she often does that even when in nappies all day).

How would you judge when she is ready to try again?

OP posts:
QTPie · 04/11/2012 09:18

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread