DS aged 3 has never told me he needs a wee - does this mean he's not ready?

[KKKKaty]

I've tried to potty train my just-3-year old DS on and off for a while. He will go to the toilet if you tell him he's going and take him, but he has never once said that he needs a wee and asked to go to the loo. If I ask him if he needs to go he always says no, and often will then wet himself a short period of time later.

Do I have to go through a stage of this i.e. taking him rather than asking him and waiting for him to make the connection between wanting to go and wet pants, or is he not yet ready?

I am of the opinion that there's no point putting him in underpants and then training myself to take him to the loo every hour or so. Unless he knows he needs to go and at least makes an attempt to get to the loo to wee then I don't see the point in trying yet. Am I right?

Haha at a few days. DS has not told me he needs a wee in 8 MONTHS. That's 8 months of 5 changes of clothes, a load of washing a day, millions of pants, carry carrier bags, a rucksack of clothes. If I put him on he wees normally. If he's in a grump he will hold it and wee his pants ON PURPOSE.

Your son sounds very much like mine when we PT'd. He never told us he wanted to pee, went very frequently, didn't even tell us if his pants were wet. We had intended to wait until he was more interested - have a lot of friends who left it till the child wanted to do it themselves with success - but he started a bad habit of picking fluff off nappies and eating it, so we said no more nappies then.

It took about a week of taking him every half hour, then it spaced out and he started to ask. Maybe 3 weeks till we felt he was basically "trained with occasional accidents". It was more stress and more faff than the people I know who did wait it out. On the other hand he probably trained 6 months earlier than he would have if left to own devices, and that's a lot of nappies!

Rosemary, why???? Is your DS very old or something? I would say straight back in nappies, specially if you really think he's doing it on purpose.

Oh, and also, bare bum time round the house really helped in the early days, I think that's when he started to take himself to the potty rather than wait to be taken.

He is 3. He can do it when he can be bothered, not when he can't. Back in nappies ATM. But some days he wants to wear pants. I go with it. Then he wants a nappy back on. Sob. Ordered some cloth training pants...

Rosemary - that sounds awful. Can you bring yourself to say never back in nappies? It seems to me if you bend on this your DS will use it to manipulate you in the way you describe.

Ah - I'm sorry; I've no right to speak really. It just sounds a bit like my DS and I know if I give him an inch he takes a mile.

I did the cold turkey thing for 5 months, going back to that next week. God help me. He just gets bored and can't be bothered to go.