Dry nappies at night, but wet if we try without a nappy. What to do?

[Mooglet]

DS1 (aged 4.5) has been potty trained since just before he was 3, with odd accidents, but mostly ok. However he's still in nappies at night. We've had odd days of him being dry in the morning, and so we started a star chart a few weeks back just to see if that helped. The deal was that if he got 5 dry nappies he got a go in the "dippy box" (i.e. a little toy from Wilkos) and if he had 5 dry nappies in a row we would try without a nappy altogether.

Anyway, he has done far far better than I expected - probably dry 75% of the time, but each time we take away the nappy he wets the bed again. What to do? I'm not too bothered about it (although his younger sister has been dry at night since 2 and a bit, which bothers him a bit), but he does talk about wanting to be out of nappies.

I wondered about just continuing with nappies for now, still doing the stars and the dippy box for dry nappies, and giving it a few weeks, but any advice would be good.

Thanks!

Well, not much use here but when ds2 was the same sort of age (now 5 1/2) he insisted on wearing pants in bed. I don't quite understand why - he was dry 99% of the time - but when I asked, he said that it stops him wetting himself.

So perhaps your lad is the same? It might be a feeling of being 'contained' I suppose, or it might just be that he thinks it actually prevents him wetting himself - whichever it is, I don't see a problem with continuing - maybe try night-pants or pull ups or just even normal pants, if he is keen to be out of actual nappies.

Just some thoughts.

Actually I think ds still does wear pants, even now! Whatever - if it works it works

We never bothered with rewards etc as he was so pleased not to be wet anyway, not that I ever really got cross when he was, iyswim, but his own sense of achievement outweighed anything I'd have done to reward him.

watching with interest as my DS is just the same - he is 6 - he will have a dry pull up for weeks - and then moment he leaves them off he is wet - maybe I will try normal pants

Or perhaps it stops him because the feeling of wet nappy or pants is so yucky - I don't know. Seems to be a common thing though!

Presumably you are limiting drinks before bed and making him go to the loo immediately before bed time?

Good point, I don't limit drinks but I do insist on him having a quick wee before bed.

Same my DS1 is 5 and his pull up is dry every night. As soon as we took him out of pull ups he wet the bed every night. My friend had an older child now 8 exactly the same she left him to it and one day (when 6) he decided not to wear them anyone and has never wet the bed since.

DD can't have a drink within about 30 mins of bedtime, or she wets the bed (even though she has an iron bladder and went 15 hours last night without going for a wee). I don't think she can properly empty her bladder, and / or the milk hasn't worked its way through otherwise.

But what Tommy said is probably right too, in that he has to want to be without nappies at all to really crack it

Thanks for the ideas. We do limit drinks for an hour or so before bedtime, and he has to have a wee before he goes to bed. And we have a potty in their room too, just because it's upstairs to the bathroom and DD often needs a wee immediately in the morning.

Maybe I should try normal pants and see. Need to get all the sheets and duvet covers washed first though - it has been a wet week!

And whilst he says he wants to be dry / not wear nappies, he has never been that motivated with potty training, so will continue with the dippy box even though I'm not a huge fan of rewards. I suppose just doing it for this won't harm. Until the others cotton on......

I would be cautious about giving rewards for this, being dry at night isn't a choice a child can make it is about the body being ready. By giving a reward you are implying that he chooses to stay dry/wet the bed when the reality is that he isn't making a choice. Sometimes if children are a bit under the weather or very tired a previously dry bed may be wet, to then withdraw a reward because of this would imply they have been naughty. Hope this makes sense, just food for thought :)

my DS really really wants to be out of pull ups - rewards have had no effect- just upset him - one thing that helps a bit is a sit down wee before bed

No conscious control is what I mean unlike day time training where you are teaching them to react on the signs that they need a wee, they can then choose to do it on the potty or carry on and wee in their pants.