DS 3.4 Yrs, Withholding poos - What to do?

[WillNeverGetALicence]

Have posted here a few times with ongoing trials of potty training DS1.

He finally got weeing in potty and toilet sometime after his third birthday [after about a year of potty training!].

But he will not/cannot poo in potty or toilet.

He just "wants poo to go away". He will hold onto it for ages, sometimes for a couple of days.

I don't understand how he is managing this.

He will be walking hobble legged with his bum in the air and a strained look on his face. Clutching his bum and actually trying to push it back up [tmi!]

It looks like a poo is imminent. I can encourage him onto the potty or toilet and then it is like the urge completely leaves him. He suddenly looks calm and relaxed. Will sit there for a while and then gets off not having produced a thing. Yesterday I even tried the bubble thing, getting him to blow bubbles because apparently they can't hold the poo in whilst doing this. But still nothing!

At the moment he has been holding a poo for about 2 days. Yesterday it looked like he was about to do one a number of times but somehow held it in.
And again this morning.... but now he is sitting watching tv and looks completely comfortable

He sometimes says he wants a nappy [pull up] to poo in and sometimes I can encourage the potty. But still nothing. I am worried the poo is getting harder and more and more difficult to push out. He does say on occasion that poo hurts and "is not his friend" and

Does anyone have any advice or reassurance? Please!

I'm just posting as a marker. I came to this forum to post something similar. DS, 3.6, merrily wees but will not poo in the potty at all. He did it once but cried and was really upset when he did, and hasn't done it since.

He poos in his pants instead. :( He's stressed about that as well, of course. And he is currently dancing around, I know he needs a poo but he says he doesn't. I've told him it's normal and we all poo and lalala but it's not helping.

Poor little guys. :(

www.childhoodconstipation.com/

An informative website.

It may be normal, but it is not good, and can set kids up with constipation for their later childhood. Please do seek advice.

I misunderstood your post, green eggs. Withholding is common but not normal. I recommend you see you health visitor or gp about it. You may be prescribed with movicol which is a good treatment and makes the water content of poo greater so the poo is sorter, less painful to pass, and harder to hold in.

Good luck helping them to get over this problem swiftly

Thanks Twonker

I have read most of the information on the website you suggested above. It was very helpful and I think I will make an appointment to see GP or health visitor asap.

or !

Good luck.

We had this with DD1 in the run-up to the arrival of DD2. In a nutshell, a combo of lactulose, usual healthy diet stuff (fruit, veg, cereal, a small amount of prune juice & plenty of water), chocolate button rewards and excessive praise for even the smallest poo in the right place eventually sorted things out for us. Took a while tho and was v frustrating at the time, so you have my sympathies!

Have a similar problem with DS would thoroughly recommend a book ' constipation withholding and your child' by Anthony Cohn. It explains the fear that drives your child to withhold their poos and what you can do to overcome it.

I dont read many parenting type books but this was a big help in understanding the problem.

Good luck and try to stay calm ( I know it's really hard)

Thank you for the responses, I didn't mean to hijack OP's thread! He's not withholding as such anymore, or at least, he's not keeping it in for days (he still poos daily, maybe a day in-between but that's it). He is, however, still saying he doesn't need a poo when he obviously does, then cries and asks for help as it's happening (not in a nappy or the pot, ofc :( ). I'll have a look at the books above.

oh sorry btw in my older post, when I said "normal" I didn't mean withholding or pooing his pants was normal. I meant, I tell him it's normal to poo, and that it's not something he should be upset about, that's all.

Sorry gree eggs, I did understand your post,

I hope the reading helps you to help your son feel normal about pooing.