I'm a crap mum who cant potty train her child.

[pigleychez]

There! I said it! :(

I wish I never started!

DD2 is being a complete nightmare to train. She just refuses to wee/poo on the potty/toilet.
Ive tried everything I can think of. Every bribery/reward I can think of, regular prompting, letting her take herself, being strong, being soft, sitting for ages in front of the tv, waiting till the last minute, flushing wee to wee land, has 3 different potties etc.
She watches her sister and us and is very interested. She knows when she needs to go but will hold it for ages until she bursts and wets herself. She can wee/ poo on demand (fills nappy as son as it goes on).

We have had a couple of successes and each time I get my hopes up but its straight back to square one again.

Its really getting me down and im getting rather stressed by it all.

Anyone any other ideas??.. She knows exactly what to do but is so stubborn she just wont do it! Grrr!

My son was the same, got quite distressed every time I mentioned it.

I gave up for a while. Just left the potty lying around. Never quite got around to getting my son dressed unless we were going out. Eventually he started asking. And now he will go on it without asking. We've not cracked it by any means but we are definitely on the road now!

He absolutely refuses to go on the toilet though. Small steps, small steps.... :o

Snap! Can I join the club?

I think dd2 is terrified of actually weeing/pooing in the potty/toilet. She'll happily sit on it, she'll hold her wee in but she'll hold it for hours to the point of being hysterical and still not let it go in the potty or toilet. She's due to start nursery in September and they said not to worry and recommended stopping trying for a month. They said to send her in in knickers if I want in the hope she'll copy the other kids and made it clear they're very happy to change her after accidents. I still feel a bit of a failure with it though...her sister potty trained at 22 months of her own accord so it's been pretty stressful this time round.

Like you we've tried different potties, the toilet, bribing with chocolate, sitting in front of the tv, reading a book while she sits on it, a potty book.

How old is your DD and does she go to nursery? Mine was on the ball with most "milestones" but simply wasn't interested in using her potty, I tried three or four times between the ages of 2 and 3 and in the end sent her to nursery in pull ups.

Nursery cracked it, not the Nursery staff but DD seeing the other children managing without pullups/nappies and wanting to be like them, DD sorted herself out in the space of a week and I think only had two accidents, I hadn't been making a drama out of it but I was really worried that she'd go to school in nappies!

My DS turned two in june and i want to potty train him now that he is settled in his big boy bed. Just dont really know how!

If it comes as any consolation DS1 was an absolute pita to get the hang of it but when he did was dry day and night. Ds2 got it, but still had accidents for several years and at 6 we still lift him and have the occasional night time wet.

If he's just turned two then you have nothing to worry about. My ds was very almost 4 when he finally stayed dry. I could have saved myself endless worry and frustration if I'd just accepted he'd do it at his own pace.

Crafty- my Dd1 was the same! Cracked in a week at 2.2 yrs with practically no accidents. Where have I gone so wrong this time round??!

DD2 is 2.3 yrs and pretty forward for her age despite being a tiny little dot of a thing.
She is due to start nursery in September. They are willing to assist in training so hoping seeing the other children will encourage her . Not overly hopeful though as seeing family and her best friend on the potty hasn't helped. She is usually desperate to copy her big sis who she adores but just not in this case!

Just hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel at the mo feel like I want to burst into tears just thinking about it.
So far I've kept the training from family as I know they will just make me feel worse about it. My mum is always so quick to belittle my parenting that this will be perfect ammo for her.

Can I suggest you just stop trying for a while. Have a break try again later. It is not like she is about to go to school still in nappies.

I thought ds would never get it but she is erring on her potty for the millionth time today as we speak.

Dd not ds (odd auto correct but there you go)

Pigley 2.3 is still so little!

I know it's hard when our mothers come from a generation where it seems every child was potty trained by 2... Although I suspect not all were [was just not spoken of] and also terry towelling nappies were a big incentive for the child to do their wees and poos elsewhere ie potty or toilet!

I do feel that every child gets this eventually and does it at their own pace. Our main role as parents is to guide and encourage them in this but we absolutely cannot force the issue [not saying you are, only that if we feel undermined in our parenting we imagine we should be doing something different, anything! Whereas sometimes it might be more about staying positive and being patient, ie creating a helpful environment for learning and not doing much at all in a practical sense!]

I am also having issues with potty training but with a boy who is 3.4. Training has taken a LONG time but what I have noticed is that when he gets it it is like something has clicked and is not due to something I have done at that point but more that he was finally ready [physically and emotionally] to learn it.

So we have been training since he was just over 2 years old. He finally got weeing in potty/toilet reliably about 2 months ago and is now pretty much completely dry day and night. I promise you it happened pretty much overnight. He was just ready and has never looked back.

Still waiting for the poos to be sorted but I can see him getting closer and closer to be ready to poo in potty/toilet... So trying to stay calm about it!

I guess what I am trying to say is don't panic, your daughter is still very little and will no doubt get this in her own way and time.

Crikey, she's very little, do not make this into an issue. Drop it & just very very occasionally ask if she'd like to try the potty. It's not worth the stress & plenty of her peers will still be in nappies past their 3rd birthday.

Sorry your family are being pants about this.

hi, i feel like a crap mum as well. ive had pressure from my mom about potty training since my daughter was 18 months old as thats when i apparently cracked potty training.

she's 3 in march and will be going to "time for twos" this month so i have started potty training again for the 4th time! but its not going well....just this morning i caught her doing a poo standing up playing with her toys on a shelf, i caught it just in time in a bag before it hit the carpet! but she had no idea she was doing anything.

i have gone through several checklists to see if she is ready and the majority of the answers were "no". so my question is should i wait until she's ready, whenever that is, or should i keep trying until im blue in the face??

May i suggest you take a break for a little while, she may not be ready just yet.
As you said the nursery will support you in potty training her, so when she is ready they will implement it in nursery.
My children were all 3-1/2 when they got dry all day, all kids are different.
Unfortunetly society these days expects all milestones to be reached to match the age of the child rather than the individual and that in itself pressured me with my pfb!!
I got really het up over her being potty trained by 2 but she just wasn't ready, you cant rush something that is a natural process just as you can't rush a child to walk as much as health professionals instill these 'milestones' they cannot be set in stone iyswim.'
Don't worry op, relax she will do it in her own time x

Very much agree with Pumpkin!
I have 5 DD's, and they all trained around the age of 3. My triplets were 3 in June, 2 are perfectly trained as they were totally ready, yet 1 just isn't ready! We aren't worried or fretting - she will get it in time, and all will be fine :)

Pigley 2.3 is very very young; I would definitely recommend leaving it a few months.
As a PP said, she wont go to school in nappies, but you will know when she is ready because she will want to wear pants, wee in the potty and be out of nappies

she's very young! leave it till she's willing