Is this normal? Please tell me it'll be ok!

[grinningbee]

Right, so dd is 3.4 She has refused to even try potty training so far. We haven't pushed it, the potty has been around for ages for whenever she wanted to try. We also have the small loo seat which she chose herself.

Today I thought we'd give it another go. She will be going to playgroup 5 times a week in September and they asked me about starting her toilet training. Dd was happy that she'd start wearing pants today, and was even quite excited. She woke up at 8, and by 10.30 was still saying she didn't need a wee. Yup, she wee'd on the floor a couple of minutes later.

I know it's only day one, but is this how it goes? Please tell me it gets better

Now she's told me it's too difficult and she doesn't want to do it. Keep trying, or leave it a few days?

Aaaarrrgggh!

"She will be going to playgroup 5 times a week in September and they asked me about starting her toilet training" - does this mean that they expect her to be trained before she goes or not?

If she has to be trained by September, I think you need to keep on at it, grit teeth, lots of spare pants and ridiculous amount of praise / phoning granny / stickers when she wees in the right place. If Playgroup would rather you'd trained her but it's no shakes if she isn't dry, then leave it for a few days.

Could you invite a friend over to paly who wears big pants so she can wear hers alongside her friend?

She's been going twice a week since November 2011 in nappies and they're fine with it. I think they were just wondering when it was going to start

She can be a very defiant little sausage, and it seems that she really doesn't want to try. Going to try for the rest of the day and see what happens...

I do have a big pack of giant choc buttons in the cupboard, so I'll see if a promise of one of them works. If not, they may be required for my nerves later

Bribery works wonders, never underestimate it

We had Pirate Pete, the boys' version of this book and reading that before we started potty training worked well for us.

Did your DD pick her own pants? If not, could she pick some to wear? If the weather stays nice-ish, it might just be worth sticking her outside without her nappy in the garden, or taking her to the loo every time you go even if you have to drink loads to achieve this

My phrase to DS at the moment, every time we have to out out anywhere in the car is "go and try!" It might be worth having a two pronged approach - buttons when she asks to sit on the potty and a sticker etc when she wees.

One thing that's really helped with my DS (though so far he only manages when naked) is emotional manipulation investment inspired by the Poo goes to Pooland idea. We talk about how poos and pees want to go back to their poo-and-pee mummies and daddies who live down the loo, and he gets quite excited about sending them back, and disappointed when they have to be mopped up, so can't make it. He's invented a whole world for them - they live on pee-and-poo island, and have gardens with daisies and butterflies and so on. This has made the difference between him really wanting to do it, and not really being bothered.

My DD didn't potty train until this age. I reckon they know full well what is going on but are resisting for some reason - I suspected with mine she associated nappies with being a baby and wasn't quite ready to be a 'big girl' yet. Indeed using any kind of 'be a big girl and do this' type motivation fell very flat!
Bribery and stealth worked in the end for us - she hated having accidents and 'cold turkey' potty training really upset her, but she got there in the end and once she'd made the transition has barely had an accident.
Best tip? Bribery! I promised DD a scooter once she gave up nappies. Lots and lots of encouragement and praise.

We also had a 'Little Princess' book where she learns to use the potty which was fun and helped make light of any accidents.

Oooh, some very good ideas thank you.

I'm loving the poo land idea. Might try that tonight as a bed time story. I'm also thinking it might take more than one form of bribery too. Stickers as well as chocolate sound good.

She also moved to a bed without sides a few nights ago, and is loving being a big girl for that. She did choose her own pants and loves them. Just not enough not to piddle in them

We do also have the little princess book - she even quoted it at me today! Off to investigate the other one, and also one I saw at the weekend called the Giants Loo Roll. Not sure if it's about potty training, but anything about toilets should be good!