DD 2.6 - knows what needs to be done - just doesn't want to do it!

[JuliaGulia]

Just some advice on how to move forwards - if anyone can help that would be great.

I have boy/girl twins. DS has taken to potty training like a dream. After day 2 we haven't had any accidents and he's able to say when he needs to go (or not go). Now 10 days later and everything's still rosie. Brilliant!

His sister - what a contrast!
Determined and intelligent young lady who has decided she doesn't want to get rid of her nappy. I know she knows what it's all about, she says 'Look mummy, Isaac's done a wee wee in the potty, good boy Isaac. Let's get him a chocalate button'. (Ashamed to say we've resorted to chocolate as a potty reward - but then I'm raising/training twins - I've decided I deserve a medal).

We bought a potty months ago, decorated it with PPig stickers, played with it etc and when wearing her nappy during the day, she'll often do a wee wee on the potty - BUT SHE WANTS HER NAPPY PUT STRAIGHT BACK ON! We've bought pretty knickers, tried a sticker chart, bought Polly's Potty Book etc but she's still not having any of it.

I wonder if she's sees it as a comforter. She is still reluctant to give me her dummy every morning but we insist and she does. But with the potty we just can't force her. Nursery did a cold turkey approach last week with both of them and she got in such a state, holding it then wetting herself (then crying) we've all agreed to put her back in nappies and ease her into things.

We often encourage her to go bare bum round the house and on Monday we had a great day with lots of success (and lots of chocolate!) But obviously she can't go nude at nursery so they are keeping her in her nappies for a while. Do you think that's ok? I don't want her to have Best of Both (ie comfort of nappy when she needs it but all the excitement of the potty/chocolate).

I know it's early days - she's only 2.6 and we've only really been trying for a couple of weeks but I want to make sure we're heading down the right path.

Would really appreciate your advice
JG

Could really do with some advice if anyone can help

my 2.5yo dd is the same. We had some success but now she says 'wee wee coming nappy on' and freaks out if I don't respond quickly. She totally gets what she is meant to do, but refuses to even sit on the potty now. I did dig my heels in for a bit and regret it. My dd is very very determined and really knows her own mind. Maybe with this type of personality, you just have to wait until they are onboard?

I haven't got any advice but I'm so relieved to have found this thread. DD 2.5 is exactly the same. Has always been a very strong willed madam and the potty is in danger of becoming a battleground. She knows what to do, talks about it all the time and will sit on it for a smartie [hmmm] sometimes. But at other times she just will not go near it (or the toilet). Knows she needs a wee, dances around refusing to sit on the potty and wants her nappy back on (or to wee in her knickers...).

I am seriously thinking that she's just not psychologically ready. Unless anyone has come through the other side and has amazing words of wisdom I might be just keep up with the bare bum/potty before bath bit but not take her out of nappies for another month or so.

Thanks so much for your responses ladies. It sounds like you're both in a similar situation.

I asked my DS if she was ready to wear her hello kitty kinckers now and she said "knicker are scary mummy" (!).

I think she's just frightenend of getting it wrong.

She did 3 wees on the potty yesterday at nursery so I know she can do it. It just seems like she's not emotionally ready yet. I'm considering Pull Ups but our nursery have said they're best to avoid as they can confuse them.

I'm so keen to get her moving with the process but I fear that if I force her or put her in knickers too soon, we'll just end up going backwards.

I'll keep this posted in case anyone else has got experience of this problem and how they've overcome it but for the time being I think I'm just going to have to go at her own (very slow) pace....

JG

Hi,

I'm in a similar position. B/g twins 2.3.

We're on week 3 and my boy has pretty much cracked it. My girl knows what to do, can hold it in, says she needs a wee, but was getting frightened and changing her mind about 50% of time when we got to potty or toilet, then weeing in knickers.

I think she was possibly feeling that she wasn't doing as well as her brother- not true but in the first few days he took great delight in squeezing a few drops into the potty every five mins and got a big fuss, stickers etc.

She is quite a sensitive girl and I didn't want to get her stressed about it, so after a week decided to give up for a bit, but put her in pull ups rather than nappies. Since I've left her to her own devices she's relaxed much more, and we are getting about 75% of wees in toilet, without me prompting at all.

I had previously thought pull ups were a bit pointless but they've worked well for us. She still feels like a big girl because she can manage them herself, but I don't need to put any pressure on her at all if she doesn't want to perform.

Hi,

I'm in a similar position. B/g twins 2.3.

We're on week 3 and my boy has pretty much cracked it. My girl knows what to do, can hold it in, says she needs a wee, but was getting frightened and changing her mind about 50% of time when we got to potty or toilet, then weeing in knickers.

I think she was possibly feeling that she wasn't doing as well as her brother- not true but in the first few days he took great delight in squeezing a few drops into the potty every five mins and got a big fuss, stickers etc.

She is quite a sensitive girl and I didn't want to get her stressed about it, so after a week decided to give up for a bit, but put her in pull ups rather than nappies. Since I've left her to her own devices she's relaxed much more, and we are getting about 75% of wees in toilet, without me prompting at all.

I had previously thought pull ups were a bit pointless but they've worked well for us. She still feels like a big girl because she can manage them herself, but I don't need to put any pressure on her at all if she doesn't want to perform.

Thanks 3in2.

I sounds like you're in a very similar position to me. Congrats on the raising the twins - potty training is certainly proving to be the most challenging aspect so far.

I'm holding off with the pull ups - I think it'll be too much of a novelty. Plus DD will be able to put them on herself which, at the moment, is my way of keeping her nappy off whilst she's at home - by diverting her and the fact that she can't put it back on herself....

I'm wondering if a cold turkey approach in a few months will be ok or whether given her sensitive nature, we're just going to have to do it gradually.

I bought her Peppa Pig knickers at the weekend then she prompty went and put on a pair of her brothers pants! Her brother is obviously a huge influence so if I have to buy her boys pants then I will. Whatever makes her feel comfortable.

Please do keep in touch if you have any instant success - otherwise it'll just have to be the long road!

JG

Hi JG
How's it going?
Yes I agree completely that potty training has been the most challenging aspect of raising twins so far. They've responded so differently to the same methods that I've found it almost impossible to have enough attention to give to everyone.
However.... I think we've cracked it! After 3 weeks in pull ups my girl asked for knickers again on Monday, she's only had 3 accidents since. I've tried my best to not put any pressure on her at all- v difficult when she is crossing her legs and clutching herself but insisting she doesn't need to go! But I think we're nearly there. She's obviously been learning from the comfort of her pull ups by watching her brother over the last few weeks!
I hope you're having some success too.

I also have twins one of who is autistic and is no where ready to even think about potty training. But his twin brother who is "normal" is really struggling to potty train. He also knows what he is meant to be doing but just gets really really upset when we ask him if you want to wee on the potty. He will hold it in as long as possible, the only time he has had a wee in the potty is because he was so upset he didn't know he was doing it.

So so pleased i am not the only one

Great to hear you've had some success 3in2.

We're making a little progress but nothing significant. DS has got it down to a T. I'm so pround of him. Hardly any accidents and seems to be taking everything in his strike .

I've realised the main issue for DD is poos. She struggles a lot (and is on Movicol from time to time) which means that she's frequently straining. Because of this she wants to be in a nappy. She gets so upset if she's got an urge and she hasn't got a nappy on. I know that if she didn't have this issue then she'd be doing much better as after she's had a poo, she's fine for her nappy to come off for a few hours and she does all her wees in her potty. She only does a poo every few days (probably because she holds it in a bit) so inbetween, she seems to be quite good at using the potty.

If I'm honest, I don't know where to go from here. I try and give her lots of encouragement (chocolate buttons etc) but there's just no rationing with her when Mr. Poo Poo is on his way. She's just petrified of not having her nappy there to protect her.

Hoping I look back on this time and laugh, (my mother said she can't even remember potty training me)...

JG

So glad to have found this. My boy/girl twins just the same. He seems to have just got it in a few days, whereas she only seems to shout "wee" when it is half way down her leg. Was so worried about putting a nappy back on her as all the books seem to say this is a terrible mistake but by day 6 her legs were getting sore and just getting her to sit on the potty was becoming a fight.

Now the nappy is back on she has started telling me when she wants to go. Maybe she will just take longer but at least I can leave the house again...