For everyone stressing about potty training, try just forgetting about it

[perceptionreality]

I tried with dd3, didn't want to know, left it 6 months, still didn't want to know. So I left it again. The HV said just forget about it - she'll do it when she's ready.

She is 3 years, 4 months old. Yesterday morning she woke up and said 'I don't like wet nappies', took her nappy off and has been weeing in potty by herself ever since. Now, this many not be the end of any problems I know. But my point is that I don't think there is any point doing 'training' until they decide they are emotionally ready. Dd3 has understood for a very long time that big girls do wees in the potty / toilet etc but no amount of me sitting her on there or using reinforcers made her do it until she made the decision.

Good work, both of you. That's basically the Montessori approach to parenting letting them lead the way and helping them do it properly when they're ready. Mine is 2.5 and so not interested yet - having pushed and pushed her brothers with not particularly good results, I am biding my time now...

Thanks Choco. I know it comes across as a bit glib but I don't mean to. It seems to me that 'well meaning' busy bodies others feel the need to put us all under a lot of pressure to have children trained by 2. I've been on the receving end myself.

thanks for this. Have been training DS (just 3) for about two months and he's very hit and miss, good days and bad, no success with poo at all. My instinct is to leave it for a bit but DP wants to keep going and mum keeps on about how me and sis were dry in a week at 2.5. When he goes back to CM and pre-school in sept, if he's not better than he was in July, they'll want him in pull-ups and I feel pulled in too many directions. He understands the idea and sometimes does it, but will often just say no, then wet himself a few mins later

It's just not worth stressing about imo. As others have said, when we were little our mums put us in terry nappies which are much more uncomfortable when wet.

Some children are ready at 2, but lots aren't. My dd's nursery also told me to leave it until she expressed the desire to want to be out of nappies. I haven't done anything to train her except lots of praise when she goes. The best thing you can do is to get a comfortable potty so that they are happy to sit on it first of all and then the rest will follow when the time is right.

I tend to agree. I don't think there's any harm in trying with them when they hit two, or introducing a potty before then just to familiarise them with it, but if they aren't getting it within a few days of being in pants, then leave it a couple of months.

DD1 was dry in the day at 2.5 - by the third day she had got it. But it took another year to be dry at night. DD2 was just turned 3, sorted wees (and being bigger could manage toilet much better) but then was withholding poos. After about 3 weeks though she got that sorted & was also dry at night!

I think you need a nursery who are supportive of your efforts. When DDs were almost there they were happy for me to supply a change of clothes just in case - which were well used for first few days! Also dds ended up in nursery spare trousers a couple of times. They have to appreciate that going to loo at nursery is quite a different dynamic from going at home.

That's where we are now marys

Ds started 2 weeks ago and hasn't had a wee accident at home in yonks, still the odd poo one though. He only goes to nursery 2 mornings a week and they have been fab.

I kept him home the first week but last week he had all accidents the first day and only one accident the second day..

They usually make them try and sit on loo every 15 mins but I explained this would def send ds backwards and they agreed to wait for him to ask/prompt him and change as necessary..

A supportive nursery makes all the difference

In theory you are absolutely right but there is a rush to get them out of nappies in time for nursery now as many won't accept then (by this I mean the free place they get at 3). I was really stressed about this and have just tried with my DD again and thank god we are there now!