HAVING to carry on training DS 2.10 while I have a newborn. FFS.

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My Mum is generally ace and was brilliant looking after 2.10yr old DS1 while I was in hospital having DS2 but... she took it upon herself to re-start potty-training him. And it didn't work. Again.

I did tell her that he wasn't ready after a failed attempt a few months ago. She's done the whole "I've thrown away your nappies because you're a big boy now" routine, but he's soiling, weeing, not responding to praise, sticker charts or incentives and (this is so textbook) wailing "but I'm not a big boy, I'm a baaaaby"

I can't just completely give up because I think it gives him the wrong message but with a needy newborn around I'm finding it a nightmare tbh. I don't have the patience and I'm scared I'll lose my temper. I'm so tired. :(

Help?

Put him back in nappies. You will not do any harm nor give him the wrong signals, he clearly isn't ready.
What was your mum thinking!!

I am not surpised that you are fed up. Potty training with a newborn is impossible. The fact that he is wailing "but I'm not a big boy, I'm a baaaaby" probably means he would not mind being put back into nappies. If you lose your temper then you could set back potty training months.

Honestly 2.10 years old is not that young to be still be in nappies. He has a lot going on in his life and needs to get used to the baby.

Hopefully we will get some nice weather and prehaps you can try again in August.

I meant to add, this is a bad time for him as well as you. He is dealing with the massive change of the arrival of his brother, he doesn't need the stress and upheaval of potty training at the same time. As reallytired says leave it 3 months and maybe try in august.

I echo what everyone else has said, stop!

Your mum has a lot to answer for. I can't believe she done that - to both of you. No doubt she was being well meaning, but still, how short sighted of her.

Thanks guys. I think I just wanted someone to say that putting him back in nappies wasn't the worst thing in the world.

He's physically capable of being trained - he was weeing and pooing fine in the potty 6 months ago but seemed to have a huge regression around the time the baby started showing (textbook again, right?) and now has a mental block against it. And is incredibly stubborn. He'll stand looking at the potty while filling his pull-up or pants. Sigh.

Good advice to wait until August, he might be more into the idea of being a big boy by then :)

What was she thinking? There couldn't be a worse time to try to potty-train a child than when they've just had a new baby brother. He will have to cope with lots of changes without adding potty training into the mix and obviously you will be tied up with the new baby. Definitely wait a few months until things have settled down and your DS is more keen on the idea.

Right now, he needs to know that he's the same as his bro and not having to change just becos baby bro has arrived. So he still wears nappies, and gets lots of hugs, and all that.

As he grows to accept baby bro, and the fact that he's a BIG bro, you will have plenty of time to work on making him a helper (he can grab wipes, nappies etc for both nappy changes) and moving on to training him again when there's no pressure on him. And when it can be much more fun for both of you - especially if he has already proved he can physically do it. He can be showing off to baby bro about what he (baby) will have to look forward to when he grows lots and lots, like weeing into potty to try to hit the sticker/into loo to hit the cork (I have a girl but I know a good few mums of boys who used those tricks for learning to "aim"). And you will have more time and energy to look on it as fun, and to deal with HIS extra washing as the BABY's extra washing eases off a bit.

Best of luck with it all! :)

Please don't worry about stopping for a few weeks - we tried when ds was 2.5, and again at 2.10 - both times disastrous. On his 3rd birthday he went into pants and was pretty much fine from that day on. Even a week is a long time for a toddler!

Just to echo what everyone's already said. Same here with ds, tried at 2.9, stopped at 2.10, was totally ready at 3.1 (and did it really quickly then too.)

I think there's a lot of 'but we did it when you were 18 months old' with our parents' generation. At least that's what my Mum is always saying...

I'd leave it til Aug too, you never know summer might actually have arrived by then