Potty Training Regression - Why? What should I do?

[pixipie151]

DD 3.1 has been potty training since Jan. She'd initially had some problem with pooing but seemed to get over it, and was still having a couple of wee accidents a week. She hates being made or asked to go to the toilet before shopping etc, and will then hold herself, run up and down when she gets the urge, until it passes. Then pisses herself 20 secs later. It is now happening daily - several times a day. Trying not to get cross, but cant help it. Tried talking to her about any fears around potty training to no avail.

How do we progress? Should we be patient and ignore the behaviour or should we get tough?

Me and hubby have had a really shitty weekend and need some advice. Please help!

Does it happen only when out? You must not show her if you are cross as that will reinforce it imo!

No it happens at home too, although she is even less keen to go when we are out. Im trying not to get cross, but am I giving her the message that its okay to wee in your pants?

If I were you I would ignore it completely when she does it. If she was trained before I'm sure you'll get back to where she was - I am still trying to get my 3 year old to want to sit on the potty at all so I'm no expert! But I do think when children develop a behaviour like this it is best to say and do nothing.

Perhaps also put training pants on her so she feels the wet when she has a wee but it doesn't spoil her clothes?

You have several options:

1. Ignore ignore ignore, just say oh well and take her to the bathroom so you or her can clean it up, she is def old enough that she can clean herself. Make no big deal about it and just move on.

2. Make her go to the toliet at regular intervals, even if she screams blue murder at you, take her any way, just tell her when she is ready to take her self and not wet herself then you'll let her be in charge of when she goes, until then you'll decide when to take her. You know the physical prompts/signs and can judge when to put her on the potty/loo. I would start with every 1-2 hours to begin with, for a try!!

3. Go back to basics start a reward chart, stickers, or chocolate buttons for every wee in the right place, a little gift for a whole morning dry, or a whole day, then progressing onto 2 days, 3 days, and the week. Gifts can be as simple as a cake, a lolly pop, you know what works for your child.

4. Give up, put her back in nappies until you think she is ready to try again.
   (although i really don't think you should do this)

HTH

My DS who is now 3.3 and (fingers crossed, touching wood etcetc) seems to be doing really well toilet wise at the moment, has had various episodes of regression since we starting potty training last october. we tried literally everything but the thing that worked in the end for us was saying to him he could either use the toilet or he'd have to wear a nappy again 'like a baby'. i suppose it depends on your childs attitude to wearing nappies but he was obviously into the idea of being a 'big boy' and(fingerscrossedtouchwood) we seem to have cracked it now. I think it worked as it was his decision.
Good luck - potty training is a right bastard.

didn't mean that to sound as harsh as it has come across... i asked him quite gently whether he would prefer to wear nappies or use the toilet...

i'm not horrible really

Thanks everyone for your words of wisdom. Wish me luck!

What are you planning to do pixipie?

Hi cookie, thanks 4 ure advice. I tried the softly approach but got fed up wiv running 2 loos in shops for numerous false alarms. On the last FA i blocked door and refused 2 budge till she tried and promised long browse round toy dept and told her she'd b more comfy. Only 1 accident since.

Well thats good news, glad its going well for you and your dd