Oh Jesus Christ I'm going to flip my flipping lid today!

[SomebodySaveMe]

DS is 3. We have been trying to potty train for the best part of a year. Yesterday I decided I had had enough and he was going in pants and only going near a pull up at bedtime. So far today he's done nothing in the toilet despite me asking him constantly if he needs to go and putting him on it every half an hour yet he has pooed himself and not told me and I have found him sat in a puddle of piss not really caring 3 times. He needs to be trained, I've tried everything yet nothing is sinking into his head and I'm ashamed to say I've shouted quite a bit.
Any suggestions would be great as I'm pretty sure I'm going insane!!

Cant you just go back to nappies for a few weeks and give everyone a break?

Try again in a few weeks and just start again. But with pants. Pull ups only at night.

Its hard but you carry on being so stressed out then nothing is going to happen.

I would but thats what we've been doing. This is attempt number 8 or something ridiculous and he has completely regressed. Before he was really getting the hang of it and nursery put him back in nappies because he was weeing every 20 mins or so when there. Now he has 2 weeks off it needs to get done so that they can't screw up again.

Can you not leave it then til the summer hoildays?

I left my ds late. He was 3.7 . It just wasn't the right time for it. Did it in the summer hols last year. Put him in pants 3 days later he had the knack. I had half heartedly tried before and he just didn't 'get it' / couldn't be bothered .

It really doesn't matter if its done a bit later. They will all do it eventually!

It does get better!

You can attempt as many times as you like, but if he's not ready, then he's not ready. It's that simple. Potty readiness is a developmental stage - just like crawling, walking, eating...you can't make a child do something they're just not ready for. Shouting and getting cross won't make him ready any sooner. Saying 'nothing is sinking into his head' makes me feel quite sad actually. Did you shout at him when he wasn't able to walk, or feed himself? I doubt it. This is NO different.

Why does he need to be trained right now?

Have you spoken to the nursery about helping you rather than make it worse?

Does he see his freinds go to the toilet? Do they encourage enough when hes there? Tbh I don't think its good that they put him in nappies because he's going often. Seems lazy to me on their part.

Took us over a year to train ds1, he still has occasional accidents and is 4.5.

The single best piece of advice I can give you is to keep calm ad stop getting annoyed at him. I know it's frustrating but it just adds to the pressure if you get cross. Even tutting and sighing when he has an accident will show your feelings so just try and keep calm and encourage him when he does get it right. He'll get there eventually.

It might be worth speaking to nursery again and making sure you're using exactly the same 'techniques' at home as they are at nursery to stop him getting confused.

He refuses to wear pull ups. He asks for pants. Before today he would tell me he had done a poo or a wee and he was staying dry for hours at a time in his pull ups.
Tried speaking to nursery but MIL runs it and she doesn't listen to me.
He's only being shouted at for sitting in puddles of wee and not telling me. I've told him I'm not cross about the accidents but I wish he'd tell me as sitting in wet smelly clothes can't be nice.

Move nurserys? I would!
Your MIL is being unproffesional if she is not listening to you.
Tbh i wouldn't have sent ds to a nursery that my mum/MIL family member ran anyway no matter how good the nursery. It will always cause problems!

You do know though that you shouldn't be shouting at him at all . It never helps and only ever makes it worse!

Hi, I'm not sure that I can offer any advice, we're only on day 2 of this attempt. But I just wanted to say that I know exactly how you feel! I am finding it very draining. After DS taking himself to the potty this morning, with a book and then proudly announcing that he'd done a poo, I thought we had it cracked, since then however, we've not had a single wee in the potty!!! He must be giving himself tummy ache as he has only had one little accident as well.
It's so hard not to tell him off, we'd literally just got off the potty when he had his accident, it's so difficult to understand what goes through their little heads.

We've gone down the bribery road. I took him to the Disney store and let him choose a toy but told him that he could only have it if he used the potty or toilet for wee. Luckily he bought a selection of figures, so I've been able to give him one little toy every time he manages to get the potty. I've also got stickers for when they toys run out.

I hope you find a way that works for you - I know that being told off by others won't help.

Thank you! This afternoon has been better. He's had two accidents but he's told me straight away about them and said he needs to use the toilet in case there's more wee! Maybe tomorrow will be a better day, I've been a lot calmer this afternoon and when DD had a nap DS and me have been able to do some games he wanted so its been a lot more chilled out!

I would change nurseries except he doesnt cope very well with new things and has made friends at this one having been there 18months. The other nurseries around here have huge waiting lists and he tends to go off the rails without the structure of nursery!