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Going potty over poo! Help!
31

Dinamit · 12/03/2012 17:22

Hi, I am in desperate need of advice from any mums who've been through similar.

DS 3 years old, and completely independent doing wees in potty, washing hands etc afterwards. Also dry at night for a while now.

However, he keeps pooping in his pants! We left it for a while, with no pressure. Then we bought toys to reward him. Once he pooed on the potty and got so much praise with a toy reward. He was visibly proud as he could tell we were so happy and proud of him. But that was a one off!

I am at my wits end now! I can't hack cleaning up to 4 soiled pants a day - I am quite literally fed up of poo.

I don't understand what the issue is; he doesn't say anything - perhaps he doesn't know.

Any advice?

I don't know how long we can carry on like this...

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Anchorwoman · 12/03/2012 17:36

My ds was dry and using loo for wees independently a long time before he would poo on potty. He also did one once on potty very early on and like yours just refused to do it again even with serious bribery. He would go in a pull up though so used to ask for one when he felt the need. You could try that, assuming he will tell you he needs to go? I jjust let ds get on with it without too much pressure and after a couple of months it just seemed to click with him one weekend and that was that.

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Dinamit · 15/03/2012 13:48

Anchorwoman,

Thanks so much for replying. Yes, we too are back to pull ups for poos....Hopefully it will 'click' soon for my DS too. So I guess we will just carry on without any promps to go on the potty/toilet?

The only thing is that he is experiencing leakage in his pants. I am wondering if he is fighting his urge to go..I wish I was more astute in child psychology to understand why all this is happening.

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Nevercan · 15/03/2012 20:12

My dd2.7 pooed every day in her pants for about 3 months and then suddenly didn't..... Just seemed a matter of time in our case....

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bramblina · 15/03/2012 20:17

I don't have any of my own advice- my dd's issue was wee, but I'll never forget my frined telling me her son was bad for poos in his pants. She was so fed up so decided not to clean him up one day and left it in his pants, he was not impressed but needless to say he never did it again! I think she was pretty convinced he was doing it to wind her up to a certain extent and you don't imply that is the case but if your son does not see it as any inconvenience being cleaned up, maybe less so that even going to the loo in the first place, but worth bearing in mind!

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Molehillmountain · 26/03/2012 19:05

I'm going through just the same-I am trying to stay relaxed about it and see it as one "nappy" I have to change per day rather than several since he became dry. I have bought some pants from asda that are seven pairs for £2.50 and unless it's very clean I'm chucking them not washing. I think I'd get cross if I was scraping pants each day. Hang on in there-apparently it'll come!

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diminishedresponsibility · 28/03/2012 15:57

I'm glad this thread is here, however can anyone help further. My DS has been really good at wees since November last year. Poos have always been a hit and miss.
We are now 5 months later. I have tried all the methods, bribes, ignoring it, supporting, talking to him, reading him poo goes to poo land, raising my voice and getting annoyed (although I try not too and have only done this twice or maybe three times).
I really don't mean to belittle anyone or say that my DS is different or special in any way, but he's a clever kid and I feel his problem is not his choice, I really feel like there might be something wrong, perhaps with his bowels. I know I'm probably one of a billion mums who thinks this. But I have changed him 6 times today and it seems to be when he's a bit constipated and is trying to push them out (sorry tmi).
Any advice??? Anyone??? Sorry to be bringing my own issues to another thread.

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diminishedresponsibility · 28/03/2012 15:58

p.s. he's 3 years 2 months

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Bettyonholiday · 28/03/2012 21:08

We have just got over this problem... Well we are 10 poos in the toilet/potty, so still early days, but am happy to share our approach, which was more a range of things, not just one. So here goes...

  • we have no downstairs loo and just had a potty in the dining room, but we moved it to somewhere more private that we called DD's secret place. We put a pile of books and some kandoo wipes next to the potty.

  • we read her poo goes to Pooland lots of times

  • we made a reward chart and stuck it in the secret place (DD got her first reward today... An ice cream!!)

  • we noted her usual poo times and watched her like a hawk so we could run with her to the potty if she looked like she was straining in any way. When she first got one in the poo, we jumped and cheered like mad, and phoned both granny's to give them the good news.

  • worked with DDs nursery who would reward DD with a sticker if she had been using the potty generally.

    We seemed to crack this last week when on holiday in centre parcs.. I really think having a loo at close proximity really helps. Today I was amazed to hear that DD did a poo at nursery, on her own!

    Don't know if any of this helps, but good luck, and I share your pain, it has taken us months to get to this point.
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Dinamit · 09/04/2012 10:45

Thanks, everyone, for your thoughts.

I thought things were improving but now even more frustrated. DS did 4 poos in the potty in one day last week! We showered him with praise and rewars, phoned granny, daddy at work etc. I really thought we cracked it. Guess what? The day after that, and all the days since, he continued with doing it in his pants.

I am now starting to think that he is doing to wind us up/as a control thing. He knows what to do, just won't do it. Should I just leave him soiled? I am at the end of my tether. When I try talking to DS about this, he makes it known to me that he is not listening by changing the subject, pointing to something else etc.

Help!

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trikken · 09/04/2012 10:58

we had this every day til a few months ago when he was 5.5 and then it clicked and he's gone on the toilet ever since. I was in complete dispair though as we had tried everything but nothing worked. he was pooing his pants up to ten pairs a day. again it 'just clicked' for him.

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3duracellbunnies · 09/04/2012 11:17

Our sainsburys have some 'dry like me' pads, which I think are a bit like toddler pantyliners, they can go at front and/or back. Might catch the worst of the poo to reduce the scrubbing.

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Dinamit · 09/04/2012 23:49

Trikken, I thought it 'clicked' for DS but it seems to have unclicked?!
I don't know whether to be cross, despairing or worried...

3duracellbunnies (love the nic btw), I will definitely hunt down those pantyliner things - they will help somewhat even though I would love to deal with the cause.

I wish I could get into that little head to understand why he is doing what he is doing -clearly he is able to do what he's got to do on the potty but he isn't. WHY???

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BlastOff · 09/04/2012 23:54

If you want a copy of Mr Poo goes to Pooland, PM me your email address and I'll email it to you.

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FizzyLaces · 09/04/2012 23:55

Like Betty, 'Poo goes to Pooland' worked in our house. It's great and my brother and sil used it with their wee boy successfully. Good luck Smile

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Dinamit · 10/04/2012 08:39

Hi FizzyLaces,

We have been reading 'Poo goes to Pooland' and other books such as 'Everybody Poos' etc for months now.

That's the thing, like Trikken, I feel like we've tried everything; encouragement, backing off etc. I have to say it is hard to keep cool when the boys went 4 times in one day the other, could see we were all so proud and happy, and then went back to his ways since...

Should I talk to a psychologist or is this part of the "fun"? My mum raised three of us and she is at a loss too.

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bee59 · 10/04/2012 08:43

We had this problem for a couple of weeks. The first few days of potty training he did a poo on the potty but then we had weeks of just wees and pooey pants. I think we have cracked it now by using a combination of bribes and trickery! I noticed that DS had pood in his pants so I quickly took him over to the potty, discreetly flipped the poo into the potty, sat him down and told him to try and do a poo. When he stood up and saw the poo in the potty he thought he'd done one in there. I made a big fuss and gave him a chocolate egg that we'd been saving for such occasions. The next day he did a poo on the potty. (15 mins later there was one in his pants too but it was a start) Since then he has been pooing regularly on the potty. It's not perfect yet and still has the odd accident but we're getting there. Hope that helps.

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bettykelly123 · 16/04/2012 21:08

started potty training dd a week ago. she got the knack of weeing on day one and by day two she was taking herself to the potty and weeing and washing her hands herself. however the pooing thing is a nightmare. she doesnt seem to know when she needs one or when she has done it in her knickers but when she sees it in her knickers she cant get out of them soon enough and starts to scream get it off of me now. i must admit ive always had problems with her poos. my sister seems to think its a problem with the muscle in her anus. she is on daily movicol to try and help but so far we have had one HUGE poo in the toilet and she got so much praise and a reward that i expected it to carry on. to be honest im relieved to know it not just me and dd that are struggling. i was beginning to think i was doing something wrong. i wish you luck at cracking this problem.

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bettykelly123 · 20/04/2012 22:07

ive just spoken to a very experienced retired health visitor who is now a child minder and she told me every single child she has and is looking after has struggled with poo's and to not worry it will eventually click and not to make a big thing of it.

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TeamEdward · 20/04/2012 22:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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WhereMyMilk · 20/04/2012 22:23

Given that he is having leakage, maybe he is constipated? With DS we have had to give up potty as he got into such trouble. Leakage is a sure sign of constipation and withholding.

Maybe see your GP and discuss...

Good luck.

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whitby73 · 22/04/2012 23:36

Hi, having difficulties with my 3 1/2yr old boy, please could you e-mail me the 'poo goes to pooland' stuff.
Many thanks

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Loshad · 22/04/2012 23:47

my ds4 was like this - wees were fine, was dry at night and yet he continued to poo in his pants.
One day the HV called in to see me about about a bf class i was running for her. At that point we had had not one succcess but 3 months of pooey pants. Whilst she was there i brought the matter up. Ds4 was furious - little fists beating me as i was discussing it with her, but much to my surprise it worked - he basically never pooed his pants again. He was too young to discuss it properly ( was 2.6 when discussion occured) but my general view was that he was controlling it, but did not want it made public Shock - i had been very gently gently over the whole issue.

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TeamEdward · 25/04/2012 21:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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Loshad · 25/04/2012 22:47

fab, well done to him

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AllOverIt · 30/05/2012 22:34

God I'm in the same boat. We're 3 months in with DD and she still poos in her pants. She doesn't seem to realise she even needs one until its out. It's so AngryAngryAngry

Trying everything to encourage her but running out of ideas Sad

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