3yo DD still pooing in pants, but wees in toilet happily

[pollyblue]

Title says it all really

Tried potty training her when she was 2.5, and she really wasn't interested or bothered so put her back in nappies until she turned 3 a few weeks ago. (She has a twin who we potty trained at same time, she hated having an accident and was dry and clean, and using toilet rather than potty, within a week or so.)

This time around, she has done pretty well with the wees, and happily uses the toilet. She can climb up, wipe herself, flush, wash hands on her own - in fact she wants to do it herself and shoos me away if I try and help. But for some reason she's still pooing in her pants - it's like she doesn't actually realise she needs to go, and doesn't always say that it's happened either.

It is possible to have cracked the bladder control but still lack bowel control, even after a few weeks of training? And any ideas of how I can help her? Have tried rewarding etc but makes no difference.

My sis had this for ages - sorry - her nursery even got to threaten they couldn't care for her if situation didn't resolve. For her it was less she didn't know / couldn't control and more that she wanted to do it her way and not what was expected wanted. It took a lot of cunning techniques to get her to want to. Mostly reward and keeping pressure off. Not sure how helpful that is but just to say you are not alone!!

my sis's dd that is!

thanks Gin, I bet your sis could've done without the added pressure from the nursery.

I think you might be right about keeping the pressure off - I did get a bit cross with her a couple of days last week when she pooed at least twice a day without saying a word. It's like she really doesn't recognise that she needs to go, although as I said, has cracked the weeing and has no problems using the toilet, so I'm a bit puzzled by it.

My DD cracked the wees at 2 yrs 3 months after about a week of potty training. However the poos took another 4 months.

We tried all sorts, but the thing that worked in the end was just taking the pressure off and not mentioning it too much. We also let her choose a special DVD which she wad allowed to watch each time she did a poo on the loo.

Also couple of good books: "everybody poos" and "Liam goes poo in the toilet".

True pollyblue it was very stressful for sis but they had been patient for a very long time and weren't really equipped to cope with those sorts of accidents in the class for her age (gives you an idea how long it went on for). Sis wasn't pleased but could see why they were wanting to draw a line. Sis dd is a head strong l'il lady - will stand her in good stead later in life but not when she was 3 and crapping her knickers!!

It is odd - kiddy logic eh?! Hope your problem is cracked sooner than that.

Good luck.

I had this with ds.

Encourage her but don't push. And when it does happen show her that you are ridiculously happy (I sang and danced and clapped, looked a right idiot) .

Also, never under estimate the power of a star/reward chart!

Once she has done it a few times, earned a star and seen how happy you are it won't take long!

Good luck!

Thanks all - I did do the rewarding with choccy buttons every time she went on the toilet, both for wees and poos - maybe she thinks a poo is worth more than just a couple of buttons! Perhaps I need to up the reward.....actually a star chart might be a good idea, several poos = several stars and a really good reward....

She's a stubborn little 'erbert (albeit a cheerful one thankfully), so i think i need to up my game!

Hi, I just wanted to empathise and say that we have the same issue with our DD who is 3 too. We have upped the rewards to a creme egg, some princess knickers and certain special books that she can read but only when attempting a poo. It is hard to be nonchalant about huge grainy poos every other day so bad we have to bin the knickers and saying through gritted teeth 'never mind, next time maybe it will be in the toilet'. There is usually an accompanying wee accident too.
I hope both our DDs crack it soon!

two of my boys did this! basically with ds2 i tried everything, star charts, bribery, getting cross, not getting cross, you name it we tried it! then one day he just 'got it' with ds4 i knew that he would also jsut get it, so cleaned up accidents and didnt say anything other than, never mind maybe next time it will be in the potty etc. and he just got it as well.

its just one of those odd things i think that toddlers sometimes do, i wouldnt worry too much :)

cereal if I had a pound for every pair of pants I've binned! Sometimes they're just beyond saving....

I've started propping her favourite bear up on the sink so she can have a chat with him while she's on the loo, it helps keep her there if I think a poo is imminent, when she's rather get off.

4mad thanks, yes I think the stay calm and ignore is going to be the best approach - at least it saves me getting wound up! And she's done so well with the wees and using the loo in general, I feel a bit mean getting shirty with her about the poos.