Not sure how to proceed with my 20 month old

[kapars]

My mother started training my daughter at 18 months insisting - 'she is ready'. She comes to stay once a month for a few days. I was annoyed as I was planning on doing it in a boot camp around age 2. But anyway....dd took to it very well and was more or less dry in the house within a few days. Poo was another matter and stressed her out but that is now on track and she is happy on big girl toilet for that.
Problem is we recently went away for a few days - another reason why I wanted to wait! and we had a lot of long journeys and boats rides where there was no easy access to outdoor loos so I had her in pull ups.
She just wees in her pull ups and doesn't bother telling me she needs to go.
Now she is fine in the house again with occasional accidents but I can't get up the courage to start just taking her out and about in her big girl pants.
The reason is because I am doubtful about whether I started too early and don't want to stress her out if she has lots of accidents ie if she is not ready to hold it in until we find a loo.
I half think - just let her wear knickers in the house and pull ups out and about until she's a bit older but I don't know if it's better just to go for it, given that she is doing so well when we are home. I guess my main question is how long are toddlers at 20 months capable of holding on? I know all children are different. Just need a nudge one way or another!

Your first issue is your mother - it's up to you how to parent your daughter, it's not up to your mother to insist.

Other than that - I've no idea. DD is 23mo and I'll not even consider potty training until the summer - she'll tell me when she's pooed, but I have no idea if she has any concept of weeing or holding it in (she certainly doesn't seem to show that she does).

Flisspaps
Oh my mother is lovely but one of those who 'always knows best'!
I breastfed my daughter until she was one even though my mother who bottle fed me and my brother said at five weeks 'oh she really needs to be off those night feeds now'. At FIVE WEEKS! Of course I ignored her and continued night feeds for nine months.
I know it is up to me but you lack confidence with your first and tie yourself in knots knowing whether you are doing the right thing. I felt a bit harassed into it to be honest and as my dd just took to it I went along with it. The thing is it's 40 years ago since my mother had my brother and me yet she thinks she remembers stuff when I don't remember stuff from a few weeks ago when it comes to parenting!