I'm not ready to potty train - can you come and hold my hand?

[babybouncer]

Yesterday morning DS (aged 2 1/2) said he wanted to do a wee on the potty. Since then he's regularly sat on the potty (saying he wants to do a wee), but has yet to do anything in it. He's at nursery full time, but we've been taking his potty in and he's been sitting on it at nappy change time quite happily.

It's taken us completely by surprise - I'm due to have a C-section in about 6 weeks with DC2, so I was just going to leave this stage until sometime after the new arrival - and we have nothing practical except the potty, so he's still in nappies at the moment. This weekend we're going to go and buy some pants and another potty and have a stab at potty training.

I haven't read any books on this step - do you have any advice on:
How to do the 'now you wear big boy pants' speech?
How many pairs of pants do I need to buy realistically?
Is there anything else I need to buy?
How many accidents should I be expecting in the first few days?
I've got three days off next week, but what do I do about the 25 minute journey to nursery or visiting the library - do I just chance it or do you have any tips for coping with accidents when out?
Do you teach a boy just the same as a girl (ie sitting, wiping etc) or not?
Nappies at naptime or during swimming lessons?

As you can see, I'm desperately in need of any advice you can give!

Hi there - we are one week in although it is not altogether very successful yet. A quick response to your questions, but I am in no way an expert! - We have about 15 pairs of knickers (have a girl!) and certainly need them all! I would definitely buy a childs toilet seat too - my dd doesnt use potty much just goes on this. Like the potty you might need more than one depending on how many loos you have! I also bought training pants (not pull ups) - these are towelling knicker things which keep one wee in but allow the child to feel wet so they dont get muddled between nappies and knickers - we use them for going out - not that we have been anywhere much!). You could use these for your journeys - maybe also a car seat protector if you are precious about these things! I use pull ups at night so they are abit knicker like so would od the same for naps except my dd doesnt do naps! She is 2.3 and was not perhaps as ready as your son sounds so many accidents - first 2 days - about 10-15 now a week on about 6/7 ish but this is more than the norm i reckon as I think I am training her too early but now I have started I cant stop.
If you fancy a bit of hand holding when you start myself and another mner (who is also expecting another dc) seem to have begun a thread called" a good first week but now we've regressed" - or something similar ( I cant do links!_ so come and join in!
Good luck!

Thanks cuggles - planning to start tomorrow and could do with more advice

It might be easier than you think,especially as he is so keen.Both my dds were dry at night before two,and when I potty trained Dd1,I realised I could have done it months earlier (she was two and quarter).I like you was pregnant and thought it would be all too much,but she had literally one accident,she was fine from the off. DD2 was the same-she wet herself in school last week (she's 4) and I was really shocked as she's only had one single accident since taking off the nappies at 24m. I did buy some towelling lined pants that I put on for a while at night time (could have not bothered in hindsight) and I put them on for longer car journeys etc,and I bought lots of pretty pants,but it was all ridiculously easy! Both my girls liked reading several books about using the potty,I will try and link-they had the girls versions but they all come in a boy version too.
I can't link (not my usual browser) but they were "big girls (boys) use the potty"
That came with stickers. "Nappy duck and potty piggy" (sweet). and "once upon a potty" this comes in a boy version or a girls.Both dds loved all these books and asked for them a lot.

Oh dear - we've already had two accidents and nothing in the toilet. I would have thought we'd do better just on the law of averages! DS loves sitting on his potty and having books read to him. He adores his new big boy pants. He's desperate to get some stickers for his reward chart. BUT the two accidents so far (just wee and on a laminate floor - so not a big deal for us) have really, really upset him. Is this normal? It's heartbreaking hearing him say things like "I not going to do a wee wee in these pants" or "I not do any more wee wees". Have I started too early or is this just what happens? Both accidents were right after we had just spent time on the potty, too.

Absolutely normal I think! - we had 11 accidents first day and one on potty which was just because she was there - day 9 now and getting about one success for every two accidents - she is just beginning to work out when one is coming as it were but quite often goes on potty, nothing then gets up and does a wee. To get him up and running and I would suggest stickers initally for sitting on potty when asked to or for pulling own trousers down or whatever you like in a similar vein rather than an actual wee/poo so that tomorrow he sees some success. Then soon you can wean off stickers for sitting and only give them for producing. I was told if they are really redy - it kicks in about day 5 (hmm not for us but maybe for you!) Good luck

aw-he's getting excited and then disappointed,poor little chap. Sounds as though he is really ready and just needs to get the hang of listening to how his body is feeling. Tell him to listen to his tummy and if it has the feeling of needing a wee.Keep the potty close to him all the time,and I think as soon as he has a few "hits" he'll get the hang of it all pretty quickly.

He may be a little young, but he is telling you he is ready to try. Like hellymelly says once he actually manages one in the potty and puts the feelings together about how it feels when he needs a wee, it will probably get easier.
Is he willing to go back into nappies or pull ups (look less nappy like) when he has a nap? If not, it might be worth putting some absorbent mats under the sheets in case and get him onto the potty as soon as he wakes up. Ditto for travelling - if it affronts him to be back in the nappy (which can be a backward step for training anyway) just be prepared - always have a couple of changes of clothes and I think you can get some covers for car seats too. Accidents when out are fairly likely until he is more consistently trained. My DP commented when his eldest daughter was potty training he knew the location of every drain in town and she had had a wee in most of them as she only recognised the need to wee about 10 seconds before it happened! There was never enough time to find a toilet.
You might find it useful to get a travel potty, I used to keep one in the car for emergencies out and about.
Wiping can come later - at this stage you can help him do this.

Disosable change mat (pampered or whatever) to line car seat

Seize the motivation! You need to give it a few days but sounds like he's keen. I am not a Gina person at all, but her book worked really well for us. It's a good guide for what to expect on each day of first week. A word of warning though - even if he gets it now, you may find not being your baby anymore (even if he desperately wants to be a big boy too) means you regress after the baby comes. But just think even if there's the odd puddle to wipe (not by you though because you won't be bending down much for a while), one lot of nappies has to be better than two!

My ds2 is 2.1 and sometimes if he needs a wee he strips naked and goes to the toilet, if left naked he can sometimes manage another wee but as soon as I put pants on he wees in them! Am going to leave him in nappies a bit longer until he does it more often and will definitely be using nappies for sleeps until he's waking up dry, ds1 just all of a sudden started waking up for a wee and taking his nappy off.

Slight set back today. DS slept very little last night and has woken up with a temperature and being a bit pathetic. He still really wanted to put on his big boy pants, but then when he had an accident in them (poo) he was so upset he declared he wanted a nappy, not big boy pants because 'I'm not a big boy'. He seemed so upset and given that he's not well, we've gone to training pull-ups (which DH bought just in case and we weren't really planning to use). He seems to like the idea of looking at whether the truck picture is still there or not and is still happy to sit on the potty every half hour (we're now doing a sticker reward for this, with the promise of a chocolate button if he does anything in it).

Not sure what we'll do tomorrow when he goes to nursery!

I sympathise! We've just started with DD (2.8) and while she's keen to sit on the potty, and sometimes says she needs a wee, she doesn't actually do one! Bladder the size of a balloon, I think, because she goes up to 3 hours between wees!

cuggles I'm interested in the 'bright bots' - do you find them helpful? I've seen mixed reviews but wondered if they might be helpful if we are out for a short trip?

first day today with DS who is 2.5. He talks about wees and poos a lot but doesn't actually like sitting on the potty or loo. Have managed to get hm to sort of hover over them and got 2 wees and 1 poo in today but lots of accidents too. he is running about half naked (with heating up full blast) and we are planning on staying in for a few days to see if he can crack it. OP we have pants for him but will wait til we have to go out to put them on him and a sticker chart and chocolate buttons! Most of my friends who have PT already say just go for it and accept the accidents and if they are ready they will get it

Zingzillachinchilla - re - brightbots - they are ok - seem to hold a small wee but DD has come completely through them some of the time but then I think they must at least hold some of that in even if not all of it if you see what I mean. So ok - not great is my conclusion. We call them our going out knickers and she seeems to accept them and doesnt think they are a nappy so no confusion at least.

DS is now desperate to do something in the potty. He's been on it a lot today - at one point he refused to get off for over an hour! - but still nothing in it and huge tears when he wees in his training pants. Is it normal for them to be this upset? - because I really wasn't prepared for it and am finding it really hard to cope with.

Poor little lad! It can be quite an emotional journey for them and you.
My DD got terribly upset, she seemed physically ready but obviously not emotionally ready - but she did not want to come out of her nappy, so we put her back in them and tried again a couple of months later.
Your DS really needs a successful wee to spur him on! Good luck - maybe it will happen tomorrow.

Finally a success! I've never seen a child so happy ('look, I done a yellow wee!') and he was very proud putting his sticker on the chart and claiming his chocolate button - and I think I was just as excited!

This was after two accidents this morning (but both times I was starting to suspect I should just put him on the potty despite him saying he didn't need it), and after one big wee in the potty we had two more accidents. Although both times he shouted 'I need a wee' and weed as we got him his potty, so it feels like progress.

Just hope he manages at nursery tomorrow. Thanks for all yours words of support, they've been very helpful.

Zingzillachinchilla - we used something like brightbots that I bought from mothercare today and it saved a pair of trousers (seeing as we went through 4 pairs this was very useful!), but didn't save a second pair, so probably couldn't be counted on.

Just popping in to say hello - we started today too. I'm glad your DS did so well today Babybouncer.

DS1 is 2.4, he did several wees in the toilet today (every time because I sat him there, not because he said he needed to) but also 4 wees and 2 poos in his pants (I have kept note so hopefully in a few weeks time I can look back and realise we have made progress!). I'm a bit worried my timing is more motivated by what is right for me (carpet being replaced in 2 weeks time plus I reckon I have 2 or 3 weeks before DS2 is crawling!) but fingers crossed. At the moment he isn't saying he wants to do a wee or a poo though.

I think it is good that you have this opportunity to do it before your DC2 comes, as it is hard to jump up from feeding a baby to rush the toddler to the loo when you see the 'poo face' .

Oh, and I'm sure he will be fine at nursery tomorrow - they are very well practised in this and will do a great job.

Apparently he sat on the potty a lot yesterday at nursery, but did two wees and two poos both in his pants. He did a wee in the potty morning and evening with us, so I'm hoping it was just that he was having a bit too much fun during the day!

You should all think yourselves lucky. When you have to potty train twins now that is one long big nightmare :o

Talkingtwins - I was talking with my friend the other day about toilet training her triplets....

Just come along to share that DS1 did his first poo in the toilet today , as I don't think anyone in RL wants to hear that kind of information!

howlongwilltheynap - I feel for your friend with triplets. I am on the brink of madness just with twins.

Congratulations on the toilet success (I remember feeling just the same)!

Can I join in for hand holding too, please? Ds is3.3 and we're going for it. Not a huge success so far-one wee in the potty in two days. He doesnt seem to wee much though-every two to three hours. I wonder if he needs to drink more? Anyway dh has taken him to gym in a pull up because he said he can't quite face ds weeing while on his shoulders or some such! Nine days may be my bench mark for some kind of progress now!

Today we have spent the whole day in the same pair of trousers! He insisted on changing his pants due to a skid mark, but we had no accidents all day AND used the travel potty when we went out (although there was a leakage incident which was slightly traumatic, but we were in the toilets, so not too bad!).

Just hoping he has a better run a nursery tomorrow - he's now back full time so I really need him to work it out there. Grandparents are also coming to look after him tomorrow morning, so let's hope they don't have to cope with too many accidents!

PS howlongwilltheynap - DH and I did a whole dance when we saw the first poos in the potty! I really wanted to post it on facebook and text everyone I knew with excitement, but realised, like you, that this is the sort of thing that you can't really share!