DS not dry at night but suspect laziness - how do I fix this?

[PrincessOfWails]

No, not being harsh (I don't think!).

He's 3.8, and has been dry during the day for over a year, but still has pull ups at night. They're wet in the morning.
We've chatted about this and sometimes he wants to get rid of the night nappies, and says he wants to be a big boy.
The other day, I asked whether he wanted to stop having night nappies when he moved into his new room (he did that last night) but he said no, I'll stop using the nappies when all the wee stops coming.

Last night, I was reading him a story before putting him to bed, and thought I could smell wee on the nappy I'd just put on him. I asked if he'd done a wee in it, and he said yes he had. I asked why he hadn't gone to the toilet and he shrugged.

So...I think he's weeing in the nappy because he can. And he's lazy!

Should I just try him without? Any tips? (Well, apart from getting a sheet on the bed...!)

AFAIK, night time dryness is nothing to do with training - it's a hormone that is released at a certain age that prevents our bladder from releasing when asleep. This is why as adults we will often sleep through the night without needing to get up for the loo, but if we are woken in the middle of the night, for example, then we'll suddenly need the loo.

There is no way of rushing it, I'm afraid.

Having said that, your DS weeing BEFORE he's asleep is definitely laziness if he's potty trained during the day. I wouldn't put the night time pull-ups on until he's at least tried to do a wee in the toilet.

Thanks - and you've also answered a puzzle of mine because I have a young baby too and when he wakes in the night I always need the loo and have to go before I feed him (resulting in angry screams from him ) but wondered why I don't wake to go to the loo if he doesn't wake me.

I might try him without nappies one night though. He sometimes sleeps in the car without his nappy and is dry; ok, so it's not all night, but still.

The mystery is when that nappy gets wet. I suspect there may be some weeing in the morning when he wakes but but before I've gone to get him. Some months ago, when he was trained dry in the day, he would have several dry nappies in the morning, but I think he's just got lazy!

Ds was dry ages before he was dry at night. Encourage him to have a wee as soon as he wakes up. It doesn't actually matter does it he's still only little. He'll do it in his own time :)

Maybe you need to be awake before he wakes just for a few days so that when you hear him get up, you can grab him and take him to the loo quickly.

Alternatively, maybe you can try to incentivise him to wee when he wakes up, maybe speaking to him before he goes to sleep and telling him that if he does his first wee in the morning in the toilet, then he can have something her really wants.

Also, do you check on him before you go to bed? At the risk of sounding a bit gross, maybe you can have a quick sniff (eew!) then and see if you can detect anything (although admittedly that still probably leaves a long time for him to do the wee later).

I disagree that it is all about the hormone. Some children do get lazy

The best thing to do is to remove the pull ups and see. Plastic sheet on mattress, normal sheet on top - I then repeated it so if wet, pull one set off leaving clean set underneath

Get a cheap spare duvet too as that could get wet too.

I would give it at least a month to see if your son can crack being dry at night before stopping

Lots of children do use a pull up to wee in, even when dry in the day. Lots will pee in it as soon as they wake in the morning.

You could also start training his bladder to hold more. Get him drinking lots of water - a mugful every hour. Get him to go to the loo every hour. No red drinks or fizzy drinks

These are the things I was told by enuerisis clinic when my child was still wet at night at 11 (she has a disability which is why being dry at night was delayed) We followed the bladder training and she was dry at night in a month

Is the wee warm in the pull up?

I meant in the mornings?

Thanks everyone, this is good advice.
Valium i haven't checked in the morning, but I will (!). I have a feeling it's warm.
I'm likely to go Ms Cellophane's way - but at the weekend when DH is around as well. I have a feeling that he can be dry, but isn't bothered.

He doesn't get out of bed; I hear him wake (I'm usually up before he is), he waits until the clock shows the sun, and yells! He doesn't realise he can get out of bed - this is good. However, his new room is next door to the bathroom so that will make early trips easier.

You could try getting him to do a wee when getting ready for bed, leave off the pull-up until after the story and he is ready to settle down, get him to do another wee before the pull-up is put on, or not if you want to try him without.

I think you need to emphasise to him that he can get out of bed for the toilet, I think that his clock is holding him back, he thinks he isn't to get up until the clock says even if he's awake, so obviously he uses the pull-up. Tired as you are, I think you'll have to get him to the loo yourself in the morning to break this cycle.

I'd give it a go without as well I think. And be clear with him that he is allowed out the bed for a wee in the night/early morning.